Struggling a bit

My diet and exercise routine has suffered a bit the last couple of weeks.  I had been doing really well until 2 weekends ago, when I went to Moab.  I got really sick while I was down there - kind of a gastric, painful, strange illness.  I'm still not sure what I had.  But it took me several days to feel better.  I tried to run through it, but my running suffered.  And most foods made me really nauseated, so I was kind of eating whatever I could stomach.  I did end up running 14 miles last week, including a long run of 6 miles.  So it wasn't a hopeless week.

 

But since then, running has been less fun.  I have been unable to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, so I've been trying to slog through it at night.  That may be part of the problem - I hate running at night, when I'm tired from the day and have 1 million other things that I should be doing.  And, since my hubby has been gone every night this week, I'm on total kid duty.  That just adds to the stress.

 

I've only done 4.5 miles so far this whole week.  Monday I tried to run before G went to bed.  I had 4 on the schedule, but only did 2.25 because she was trying to run on the TM with me.  So I figured I'd do 4 Tuesday night after G went to bed.  Well, I fell asleep accidentally with her, and didn't wake up until 11:15 when DH came home.  It was too late to run.  Then yesterday, I gave blood at lunch time.  I had still planned to do my 4 last night, but barely got 2.25.  I hadn't given blood in quite awhile, and had forgotten the whole "don't exercise on the day you give blood" thing.  I just about died last night.

 

So, I've still got about 10 miles to complete in just 2 days of running.  I wasn't supposed to do a long run this week (doing the 2 steps forward, 1 step back training program).  But, I think I'll have to do one long run this weekend to get it all in.

 

{{SIGH}}

I hope I get some of my motivation back.

My diet has suffered as well.  Lately I feel like I'm constantly hungry and always craving food.  I haven't been too good about staving off the cravings, and I've given in a bit.

 

In fact, I haven't lost a pound in close to 3 weeks.  I'm stuck at 160, and so badly want to see the next lowest decade of weight.  Well - I supposed if I really wanted it badly, I'd be working harder.  Right?

Who needs sleep anyway?

Certainly not me (or so my children think).

 

I probably should write a post on how Bryn still continues to not sleep - how she has only slept through the night a few times in her entire life.  And how lately, she doesn't want to go back to sleep after her midnight waking.  But that would be old news.  And anyway, who wants to hear me complain?

I think I'm going to post about my big girl - who used to be my good sleeper.  I think we maybe ruined her by moving her from the crib too early.  She seemed old enough, and definitely ready.  But since she got into her "big girl bed" at only 20 months, it hasn't been the same.

 

I'm embarrassed to admit this:  I haven't slept in the same bed as my husband in months.  I'm always in bed with G.  She can't fall asleep if I'm not there.  When I do leave, she wakes up crying for me.  Its easier that I just stay there.

 

We don't have this issue for naptime.  She can fall asleep on her own, and sleep for 3 hours by herself during the day.  But night time is scary for her.  She closes her eyes and sees "scary pretend monsters".  I've tried reasoning with her.  I've gone to the store for magic night lights that make all the scary pretend monsters go away.  I've tried to be firm - even mean.  And I've even left her to CIO (which really doesn't work when the child can just get out of bed).  In the end, I've resorted to sleeping in the same bed as my 3 year old.

 

I keep hoping that she'll grow out of it, which I know she eventually will (she won't be coming home from the prom to lay in bed with her mommy), but if anything her fears seem to be getting worse.  I'm at my wit's end.  I'm tired and I want to get a full night of sleep.  I want to sleep in my own comfortable bed with my husband (even if he does snore like a lumberjack).

 

I do love the "pillowtalk" that G and I have while she's falling asleep.  She will ask me to tell her a story from my head - usually about a princess.  She will tell me about her day.  Last night I heard all about how Miss C at daycare taught her to never open the door for strangers, and how little H loves to bite the other kids.  I think I know way more about her 3 year old life than other parents of kids in daycare.

 

I especially love how she wants to hold my hand while she falls asleep, and when she cuddles her little warm body up against mine.  I do think that I've had an incredible opportunity to bond with my sweetie in ways that many parents miss out on.  So, I assume it really isn't all bad.  I mostly just wish I could sleep more.

 

I'm tired.

Another fun weekend

True to form, one of my kids got sick this weekend.  While I do appreciate the fact that they are learning that weekend illness disrupts the family schedule the least, I do miss having weekends without sick kids.

 

I knew Gracelin was feeling a bit sick on Friday - she barely ate and complained that she had a headache.  But we had a fun day, including a trip to the splash pad, and I thought she was ok.  Ben was out all evening, so after I got the girls in bed, I headed to the treadmill for a 6 mile run.  After my run, the kids were still quiet so I decided to take an ice bath (the greatest way to keep sore muscles at bay).

 

I had barely shut off the (cold) bath water, when I heard G screaming for me.  Pretty soon, she was in the bathroom.  In her pathetic voice, she told me that she was sick, and sad that I was in the bath.  I hurried out of the bath, and carried her to her room.  She felt really warm - warmer than she should have felt to my ice bathed body.  I took her temp and it was 105.6.

 

Now in the past, a temp of 105.6 would have made me hysterical.  But I've come to realize that my poor little girl is prone to high fevers (the highest I've seen is 107.1 - which earned her a trip to the ER).  This night though, I dosed her with Motrin and Tylenol, got her a drink, and cuddled her in bed.  Her feverish mind was working in hyper drive, and she was telling me the funniest things.  Recently, her daddy had taken her to a water park, and she was reliving the entire day at warp speed - with the added part about the alligators in the lazy river.

 

It became apparent rather quickly that this was going to be a long night.  And pretty soon, I started feeling sick.  I had to leave the room 3 times to puke.  Finally at 11 pm, I called Daddy to come home and help us - which he dutifully did.

 

The next morning, the girls were up early, just like always.  And being the nice daddy that he is, he took the girls for bagels and then to visit Grandma M.  I got to sleep past 10 am (which I haven't done by the way, since April 28, 2004).  Then I took a shower with no one pounding on the door.  I also got to do dishes with no one climbing into the dishwasher and do a load of laundry with no one climbing into the dryer.  It was a good morning. 

 

Finally my sweet family came home.  Poor little G was still really sick, so it was off to instacare.  I was worried she had another UTI, since she was complaining of "spicy pee".  She even peed into the "hat" without major trauma, but her urine was clean.  The Dr took one look into her throat, and immediately knew she had strep.

 

Not that I was happy G was sick, but I just love when my kids have something easy to treat.  After only 2 doses of amoxicillin and a long nap, G woke up covered in sweat but fever-free.  As I changed her clothes, I remarked to her that she had broken her fever.  She started to apologize, but I explained to her that a fever is a good thing to break.

A little bit of this and that

So, I continue to be an inconsistent blogger.  I have yet to blog about California, and now I have another weekend trip to talk about.  And there was so much excitement in the last couple of weeks with my job and hubby's job. . . where to begin.

 

Maybe with the job stuff:  About a month ago, I got a letter from a local municipality notifying me of a job opening.  I really think they just sent it to most other municipal employees in the state, but I still felt honored.  It is one of my favorite places in the state - and although its 4 hours away, and in the middle of nowhere, it would be the perfect job.  Not only was the position for the director (and I so want to be the boss), its a wonderful resort town in the middle of the desert, and they are very progressive.  Naturally I applied.

 

I got called back for an interview, but they were all taking place the week we were in California.  So, I did a phone interview.  Only I forgot they were calling that day, and I interviewed while helping DH navigate to Disneyland.  I was very distracted.  I honestly didn't think I interviewed well - I knew I didn't completely bomb, but I could have done better.  Naturally, I was shocked when they called me back the next week, saying I had made the top 3.  They wanted me to come down and interview in person.  Since I was already planning a trip to said city for Memorial Day weekend, I asked if I could meet with them while I was down there.

 

In the mean time . . . DH has been wanting to get on with a company his friend works for.  Its a small, real estate investment company and hold lots of potential.  His friend called the week of our California vacation to offer him a position.  We deliberated - his position has more potential for income.  It would mean I could (hopefully) stay home with the girls in 2 years time - and we wouldn't have to move.  My position would mean that DH quits his current job, and risks not finding something to replace his income.  I may be able to make enough for him to SAH, but its a gamble.  Besides, logically we should be focusing on Dh's career and not mine - right?  But oh, how I wanted that job.

 

It was quite a crazy week for us.  But in the end, we decided that he would accept the offer he got.  I called my interviewers back and canceled the interview.  I didn't want to waste their time.  Nor did I want them to offer me the job, when I couldn't take it.

 

{{SIGH}}  I hope we made the right decision.

 

I did end up going down there for the weekend though.  I met my brother and his friend for some hiking.  We did manage a couple of fun hikes, which I will post later, and give a full trip report.  But I did want to mention about how sick I got while I was down there.

 

It was the first night too.  I had fallen asleep in the hotel waiting for them to arrive.  When there got there, we were all starving.  So we headed out for a bite to eat.  I ate a sinfully good italian dish that was full of cheese.  Then, we got ice cream too.  I'm not used to eating that way, so when I had a stomach ache that night I just assumed it was from my dinner.  But I continued to get sicker and sicker.  Until 3 days later I ended up at the ER.  They ran a bunch of tests, including a CT scan, and determined that I had an ovarian cyst.  I'm still not convinced that is the cause of my malaise, and I'm still not feeling better today.  6 days later.  Maybe I should call my doctor and get a second opinion.

 

I have felt too sick to run, and I'm worried if I don't feel better soon that it may affect my training.  I only have 17 weeks till marathon time, which may sound like an eternity, but it feels too soon.

 

Hmmm - this isn't quite the post I was hoping for.  I guess I rambled on and on, and never made my intended point.  And now I have to run to a meeting.  I'll still post this, and promise to be better next time.

Pacing myself

I had a great run last night. Typically, I run in the morning. But yesterday when my alarm went off at 4:30, I turned it off and rolled over. I was just too tired. But, I needed to get in 3 miles, so I was forced to run after the girls got into bed.

I've been charting all my runs on coolrunnings.com. Its such a cool program - there is the best graphing feature where you can graph miles, time, pace, etc. I just love charts and graphs, and have gotten a bit obsessed with the whole thing. I've been trying to increase my pace and mileage at the same time, which frankly doesn't work.

So, last night I decided to "change things up at bit". I started out running at a super slow pace. I turned my treadmill display to the one that shows a quarter-mile track. With every lap I completed on the virtual track, I increased the pace just one tenth. I felt really good. It took me almost 40 minutes to complete a 3 mile run. But I could have run longer. And I suppose, to assure that I'm not overtraining, I should always feel like I could go longer at the end of a run.

I'm still feeling intimidated by the marathon, but at least I have a plan. I also signed up for a some races during my training to check my pace. I have a local 5k in June that I plan to run. In July, I signed up for a 10k, and a half-marathon in August. I'm especially excited for the 10k and half, because both routes will be similar to the marathon. Although obviously shorter, they both start high up in the mountains and end up in the valley - which is exactly how the marathon runs. Hopefully I'll be prepared.

How to cool down after a race

Ok - I'll admit. I totally ripped this off from a message board that I frequent. The man who posted it, wrote this article for a newsletter for his running club. Its too funny not to share - especially for slow-paced runners like myself:

"Dear Spareribs:

A running buddy of mine criticized me for not "cooling down" after a fiveK with an easy jog. I'm fairly new at racing and don't know anything about this. What advice can you give about the "cooldown"? Rick from Flower Mound

Dear Rick:

Your friend is correct that a good cooldown is helpful after a race, as a slightly elevated heart rate helps flush accumulated lactic acid, keeps you from stiffening up, and speeds recovery. But enough of that sports physiology mumbo jumbo. There is another reason why cooling down is important, and it has to do with your persona as a runner.

Face facts. In every race there are two groups of runners: those who finished ahead of you, and those who finished behind you. Who are the runners who finished ahead of you? They're lucky people who happened to have a good race that day. They're not necessarily faster or better than you, and with a bit more training you can beat them next week.

But more important, who are the people who finished behind you?

Pond scum!

These runners have no business being in the same race with you, and you must make sure they know it. If not, you run the risk of having them come up to you later and try to talk, tell you about their race, or in a wild act of temerity attempt to befriend you. You must put a stop to this quickly so they know their place. And the perfect way to do this is in what I call the "Pro Cooldown."

Here is what you should do immediately after a hard fiveK. Grab a water bottle and jog the entire course again, so you get another 3 miles in. But here is the key: make absolutely sure you run the course from the finish line back to the start, not the other way around. This way you run opposite the lowlifes still out on the course, as an "in your face" reminder to them that you are top dog today.

To do this well, you must adopt an air of studied indifference to the people you pass. If you pass someone you know, for heaven's sake, don't yell, "Way to go!" or the nonsensical "Woo Hoo!" Instead, a low wave, flip of the hand as you go by is sufficient, if you bother at all. Act as if fast people seldom notice anyone slower.

There is one key exception. Let's say that purely by luck, someone is in the crowd of losers who has in the past beaten you in a race or two, a key rival you hate. Now the rule changes. For this competitor you must offer banal, yet chilling words of encouragement: "Go for it Mike!" "Hang in there Henry!" "Lookin' fine Mindi!" This appears to bolster their self-esteem, in the knowledge that you permit them to share the oxygen we all require. It is all the acknowledgement they need or in fact deserve, but more importantly it will drive them insane!

Here are three more techniques that have worked well for me. First, drink often from the water bottle so it appears you are running effortlessly. "Hey, I can drink, talk and run at the same time. How you doin'?"

Second, throw in some fast strides during the cooldown, but wait until you are about even with the middle of the loser pack, so you can show to the greatest number of people that you have plenty left. This says, "Sure, I ran hard today and beat you, but if I wanted to I could still run another hard mile. This is easy."

Third, find someone of about your own speed and finish place to cool down with, and spend the whole time chatting amiably about this and that, totally ignoring the others. Laugh a lot. They'll get the idea.

If you can incorporate the "Pro Cooldown" after every race, you will not only maintain fitness, but also show others "who's your daddy". Naturally I recount these rules and advice with this degree of accuracy in full recollection of the many times they have been used on me, your fellow back-of-the-packer. Good luck. Spareribs"

Another daycare issue

Poor Bryn got hurt at daycare yesterday, and it was first thing in the morning too. I had barely dropped her off - and she was having a bad morning. She laid her head on the floor and cried as I left (something she rarely does), so I was already feeling terrible. When I drop the girls off at daycare at 6:50, there is usually only one lady there, and she's typically over ratio with my kids. I've never worried about it before, because I assumed someone else showed up at 7am. I found out yesterday that no one comes in until 7:30.

So when Bryn crawled through a hole in a broken gate, she had no idea - until my poor girl fell down the stairs, and hit the gate at the bottom. The worst part is that no one called me for 5 hours - until a new provider came in for the afternoon and thought I should have been called. These pictures are about 36 hours after the accident, and she already looks much better. She looked horrible the day of, and I probably would have taken her to be checked for a head injury had I been called immediately after.

Daycare has already fixed the broken gate, but I'm not sure they've fixed the issue with staffing. Maybe I need to do a spot check just a few minutes after I leave to make sure they have taken care of things.

I won the lottery!

I think I posted a few days ago about how my brother talked me into signing up to run the St George Marathon in October. It really didn't take much prodding, because it was a lottery and only about 50 percent of applicants actually get in. I figured there is no way I'd make it - and if I did, I decided that it must be my divine providence or something. But I really didn't think I'd make it (did I say that already?)

So, the results were posted this morning. My brother and I both got in. Whooo hoo. I went from being totally excited, because I never win anything, to being totally freaked out - I'm going to RUN A MARATHON! UGH.

I've got a lot of training to do.

Last week, I'd sat down and done a daily training schedule from now to Marathon. I'd loosely followed Hal Higdon's schedule, but ever since worried that it may just be a bit too ambitious. Its a lot more miles than I run now, and it picks up quickly. I'm worried about becoming injured. Also, the longest run on his schedule is for 20 miles. A marathon is 26.2 miles people. I really want to try and run the full mileage at least once in training.

Then, I followed a link posted in my new favorite place: the forum on Coolrunning.com. The link took me to a 3-day marathon training schedule on the Jeff Galloway website. I think his plan is much more doable. It has 2 easy days, and then Saturday is the kick-butt long run day. Not only do I feel less likely to become injured following this plan, it fits my busy schedule better. I think it would be difficult to find 5 days to run a week. I like sleeping too much. Of course the Galloway plan is merely intended to train a person to simply finish a marathon.

Sleeping Beauty and Stinkerbell

My girls love the Disney princesses.  I'm not sure where it came from either.  (Maybe their daddy?)  Because it surely wasn't their mommy.  I've never been the princessy type.  I've been "grunge" and "mod" and "alternative" and "crunchy" but surely never the a princess.  I tried too hard to be a non-conformist and low-maintenance to like all that stupid Disney stuff.  But my girls somehow L-O-V-E them some princesses.  Cinderella, Ariel, Belle, etc - and it really was Daddy who bought the movies.

 

On Sunday, after our church service, we headed home for a much-needed nap.  I got the girls down, and then crashed myself.  After only an hour (too short for a Sunday nap) I was awakened by a cheerful G sitting next to me in my bed.

 

G:  Mommy, I'm just like Sleeping Beauty

Me:  (very groggy)  How's that?
G:  I sleeped for a really long time and then I waked up but no one had to kiss me I just waked up all by myself without being kissed.  Let's go kiss daddy to wake him up too.

 

So that's where the story of the Sleeping Beauty label came from.  Now for the "stinkerbell" story, but first a bit of background.

 

Daddy bought G a new package of Tinkerbell undies on Saturday.  He took her to the store while I was at a baby shower.  Daddies should not be allowed to take their princesses to the store alone, because they simply cannot resist buying them what they ask for.  At least our strange child covets things like new panties over candy and junky toys.  

 

G loves those panties, and I've had to wash them at night, so she can wear the clean pair in the morning.  Then somehow it became really funny to them to say "don't tinkle in your Tinkerbells".  And because Bryn does tinkle in her pants, she became Tinkerbell.  (all from the strange mind of a 3 year old)

 

But why the stinky part you ask?  Well, its because Bryn's behind stinks.  She could be called the "mystery farter" because she's great at passing those silent-but-deadlies that can clear out a room.  But I guess it really isn't a mystery, because we all know where it really comes from.  Its actually become quite comical.  Poor girl has a long life ahead of her I fear.

3 years old

I've been meaning to update about Gracelin's 3rd birthday all week - I wanted to attach pictures, which I can only do at home.  But, I just don't have time at home to sit and blog.  So, I'll attempt an update now, and hopefully attach pics later.

 

Gracelin at 3:

We decided to have her party on Saturday, although her birthday wasn't until Monday.  The day started with a benefit run that the whole family planned on doing.  The plan was for mommy and daddy to run the 5k (while daddy pushed the girls) and then for the girls to run in the kiddie races.  G had been talking about the race for 2 weeks - she'd watched mommy cross the finish line in a couple of other races, and couldn't wait for her turn to run.  We'd even gone to the park a couple of times an practiced.  On the day of the race, G was so excited.  She had me pin on her bib, and wanted to immediately run.  But she had to wait.  By the time the 5k was over, G no longer wanted to run.  She kept crying and saying that she wanted to go home.  It really wasn't like her, but we assumed she had slept poorly (which she had) and was maybe a bit overexcited for the pending activities of the day.  So, her sister ran and then we went home.

 

After a nap and some Motrin, she was a new girl.  Daddy and I had bought her a new bike with training wheels - which somehow she had found in the garage earlier in the week.  I was very disappointed, because I wanted to suprise her.  She was so excited about it, so I just let her ride it before her party.  Peddling was a bit difficult for her, and she kept getting nervous and hitting the brakes.  But, it was a successful gift.

 

4:00 PM hit, and the first wave of party guests started arriving.  From 4-5, we planned a small party with some of the kids from the neighborhood.  There are several little kids around her age, so we invited them over to decorate cup cakes and do a pinata.  The cup cakes were a huge success, and other than an extremely messy kitchen afterwards, the activity went off without a hitch.  As the kids finished their cupcakes, they went outside to eat them and play in a "tent city" Ben erected in the backyard.  The kids had a blast playing in the tents. 

 

Once the cupcake aftermath had cleared, we hung up the pinata.  G had helped me stuff it the day before, and couldn't wait to "hit the kitty with a big stick".  We let G go first, and all the other kids lined up behind her.  Several other girls went after, and they all hit the pinata like girls.  But then one of the little boys got up.  He planted his feet, squared his shoulders, and knocked the crap out of the pinata.  Even at 3 years old, the difference between boys and girls was obvious.

 

About 5pm, the neighborhood kids went home, and round 2 of the party started.  We had our family over for a bbq.  G has several cousins within just a couple months age difference, so she had fun playing with the kids.  It was a very nice party.  After dinner and presents, we cut the cake.  About half way through, G suddenly had a melt-down.  I picked her up, and realized that she had a fever.  I took her temp, and it was 104.  Poor girl was sick on her birthday.

 

Anyway, I suppose I should talk about what G is like right now.  She is such an intelligent and vivacious little girl.  Right now her favorite things are dolls and books.  She's such a cute little mommy to her dolls, and I love to listen to her playing "pretend" with them.  Her ability to speak and communicate continues to amaze me - she's still way ahead verbally.  She loves to sing, and can actually carry a recognizable tune.  She's also a "fashionista" and loves clothes - especially anything that makes her feel like a princess (ie.  pink dresses).  Her memory is amazing too - she can remember things from months ago.  She's also very physical, and loves going to the park, running, and being in the mountains.  She's recently gone hiking and rock climbing, and attacked both activities fearlessly.  Among all her favorite things, is her sister Bryn.  She loves Bryn so much, and is very helpful with her.  I've watched my girls, and they are so loving to each other.  Its rare that they fight, and I don't think I've ever seen them physically hurt each other.  I love my sweet girl, and feel so blessed to have her as my daughter.

I'm such a slacker

I was doing well with my blogging for awhile.  But for the past few weeks, I've really fallen off of the wagon.  I'm going to attempt a quick update about my diet/exercise program, and then save the update on the girls and G's 3rd birthday for another post (I want to attach pictures, so I'll have to do it at home).

 

Chase the Cookie 5k - April 14, 2007:

I ran my first 5k ever.  My brother and his friend came into town from Cincinnati, and convinced me to run it with them.  I didn't feel ready at all.  I've only been running since February, and at the time they talked me into the race, had only run a 3 mile distance once.  And my time was over 40 minutes.  My goal for the race was just to finish without walking, and to come in under 40 minutes.  I figured too, that since the course was relatively flat and the run was for the Girl Scouts, that it was the perfect environment for a novice.

 

I got to the park where the race began about 2 hours early.  It was freezing cold that morning, and on advice I found on some blog somewhere, I dressed lightly.  I ended up sitting in my car, waiting for my mom, brother, and HL to show up.  Once they got there, I sat in my mom's car with them.  Finally, people were starting to line up, so we jogged over to the start. 

 

Although the wind was cold, I warmed up very quickly and didn't notice the temp at all.  The race was an out-and-back, and I ran the first ? fairly well.  But the very end had a hill - since I mostly train on the treadmill, I don't run hills very well.  I ended up having to walk a bit.  But, I realized as I was heading back, that I was passing a lot of people.  Of course there were lots of walkers, but I felt really good about my placing in the race.

 

With about 0.5 miles to go, I started running out of energy, and again I walked a bit.  As I rounded the corner and could see the finish line, my pace picked up again.   With about 100 yards to go, a little boy standing on the sidelines shouted at me to run as hard as I could.  So I did.  As I crossed the finish line, I noticed my time was just over 36 minutes.  I came in over 4 minutes faster than projected pace.  Of course, I promptly threw up into the grass at the finish line.  But I felt really good. 

 

Official time:  36:10

 

Second 5k - Salt Lake City Marathon - April 21, 2007:

I had so much fun "chasing the cookie" (even though I tossed my cookies) that it didn't take much convincing from HL to sign up for the SLC Marathon 5k, even though it was a week later.  My mom decided to walk it, so we signed up together. 

 

I was amazed at how many more people there were at this race - literally 1000s.  I was glad it was chip-timed, because it took me over 2 minutes after the gun to even cross the starting line.  For the 1st ? mile or so, I was pretty much dodging walkers and jogging strollers.  But the pack eventually thinned out, and I found my rhythm.

 

Unfortunately, I learned a lesson; I learned not to experiment with my asthma medications the day of a race.  From about mile 1 - mile 2, I pretty much walked the whole time because I had an asthma attack.  I finally got things under control, and finished the last mile fairly strong.

 

It was so much fun to run in to the finish.  I was running in as the first 2 ? marathoners came in.  I was feeling strong, but they blew by me.  The crowd was amazing, and the excitement really spurred me along.  The clock read around 39 minutes, but I knew my chip time would be less.  And I didn't puke this time.

 

Official chip time:  37:57 (not too bad considering I almost died)

 

3rd 5k - April 28, 2007:

I guess the running bug has bit, because I signed up for a 3rd race the following week.  This race was a benefit run, for a family who lost their mother earlier this year.  I convinced my hubby to run, which meant we would have to push the girls in a jogging stroller.  (Luckily Dh offered)

 

The day was warm and sunny - gorgeous day.  And the turnout was around 1000 people - which was about 700 more than anticipated.  It was very crowded at the starting line.  We lined up towards the back because we had the girls in a stroller and didn't want to be in the way of people.  As we stood there, the race organizers spent 20 minutes thanking everyone who'd participated.  Bryn got antsy, which turned into mad, which turned into the mother-of-all-tantrums.  Poor girl was crying so hard that she puked all over herself.  We wheeled her over to the side to clean her up. 

 

Finally the race started, but we couldn't get Bryn back in the stroller.  She kept arching her back and screaming.  It probably took us over 2 minutes to cross the start line, and since this race was not chip-timed, I knew that I was running for fun, and not a PR.

 

It was a grueling 5k.  The first ? was very steep uphill, and it was about 75 degrees.  The sun was warm, and I was feeling it affect me.  At about 1 mile, we had to run up a very long, steep hill.  I ended up walking pretty much the entire hill.  But then the route leveled off, and eventually went back downhill (but, thankfully not as steeply as the uphill section).  I felt really strong for the second ? of the race.  I crossed the finish line at just over 35 minutes.  There was a line of people at the finish line, and of course I started late.  But I think it is safe to say this race was a PR - I just don't know what the time is.

 

I am planning to take a few weeks off of racing, and just focus on my training.  Right now, I'm running 3 days a week, and cross training 3 days a week.  My cross training consists of swimming on Tues/Thurs, and then usually hiking the other day.  I'm going to start mountain biking too, because I'm thinking I may want to try a triathalon sprint next year.

 

My brother and HL also convinced me to put in to run the St George Marathon in October.  Its a lottery, and I won't know if I'm in until next week, but I sat down last night and worked up a daily training schedule for the next 6 months.  I'm also considering a local ? in August.

 

One would think that all this physical activity would be making me super skinny and hot.  Truth is, I've maybe lost 8 pounds total.  But, I feel better and sexier than I have in a long time.  I think too, that much of the weight loss has come from giving up my diet coke addiction (day 26 and still going strong thankyouverymuch).  But its ok - I am loving things right now.

. . . take me away

I now understand the premise behind those cheesy "Calgon . . . take me away" commercials from the 80s:

 

Poor Bryn has had a blocked tear duct from birth.  We've tried drops, massage, warm compress, etc - but nothing has helped.  She wakes up with her eye glued shut every single day.  So, I decided it was finally time to take care of things.  Our appointment was scheduled for this morning at 8 am, and the office is clear downtown.   They told me to be there 15 min early for paperwork.  So, we left the house at 6:45.  We got downtown at 7:30 (no traffic at that time, which is strange for rush hour),  parked, walked in, only to find that her appointment was next door in the pediatric building.  So, we walked clear-the-heck over there (Bryn wanted to walk and G wanted to be carried - not fun), and actually found the office with 15 minutes to spare - just like we were instructed - and the office was closed!  I tried to call back to the lady I'd just talked to, and her phone said their office was closed.  I decided we could just sit in the hallway and wait - but G had to potty, so we went in search of the restrooms.  We found them way down the hall.  Not very convenient for a pediatric medical center.

 

5 minutes later when we returned, the office was open and full of people.  WTF?  I went to sign in at the desk, and the woman rudely told me that she'd help me in a minute - so I stood there and waited.  She snapped at me that I could sit down, because she really would be a minute.  I was starting to get pissed . . . then Bryn decided to poop more than she'd ever pooped in her entire life.  I asked where I could change her, and they sent me clear-the-heck back down the hall to those same restrooms.  Poor Bryn was a mess.  I usually only carry about 4 wipes and one extra diaper with me.  But this was a 20+ wipe job, so I was not prepared.  I had G get me some TP from the stall to help clean up the poo-splosion.  She came back and noticed (rather loudly) that Bryn had eaten corn and carrots and beans.  At that point I stopped her.  I'm sure the other ladies in the restroom didn't want to hear the entire contents of my daughter's BM.

 

Her clothes were a mess.  The one bright spot of the whole ordeal was that the restroom had diaper disposal baggies, which also were large enough to hold Bryn's poop covered outfit.  So, I had somewhere to put the dirty clothes, but nothing clean to put on her!  Poor girl had to go back in wearing just her diaper.

 

We made it back to the office, and got called back to a room.  And the doctor came in relatively quickly.  He did a quick exam, and decided that Bryn did indeed have a clogged tear duct, but he needed to do an exam anyway and needed to dilate her eyes.  The nurse came in to give Bryn the drops, and told us they will burn and sting, and Bryn will cry.  Well - drops went in and Bryn couldn't have cared less.  Then we had to wait 20 minutes, so back to the waiting room we went.

 

Bryn kept pulling off her diaper, and while I turned my back to rediaper the child, G would decide to run laps around the office.  Clearly annoying all the other patients.  It was a long 20 minutes.

 

Finally we got called back for the second time.  No sooner were we in the room when G announced that she had to potty again (sometimes having a potty trained child is SO difficult).  I asked the nurse where the potty was, and she sent me to the same potty clear-in-the-heck down the hall.  UGH.  We ran there, pottied, and came back, only to find that we'd missed the doctor.  He went in with another patient.

 

By this time, it was Bryn's nap time, and she was crying "bye bye bye". I didn't blame her - I wanted to go home too.  Heck, I would have been happier to be having a root canal than sitting in that office anymore.  The doctor finally came in.  He had no bedside manor - I could not believe he was a pediatric doctor.  After a 2 minute exam, he told me that Bryn indeed needs surgery, and told me to wait for his staff to come in and schedule it.  When I asked when I could expect the surgery to be scheduled, he rudely told me that his staff new his schedule better than he did, and I'd need to wait for them.

 

 . . . ugh

 

Surgery was scheduled for June.  We successfully made it to the car (which was like a mile away) without any more incident where  Bryn promptly fell asleep.

Conquering my fears

I'm very afraid of heights. We're not talking a little bit - I get serious anxiety leaning over a balcony railing. So, when my husband suggested we take our 2-year-old rock climbing (she's been asking to go) I thought he was insane. But, he assured me that its perfectly safe. So, on Friday afternoon, we met some friends, my brother and his gf in the mountains. They strapped me up and made me go first. The climbing part was ok - until I looked down. I only made it up about 15 feet before I was begging to come down. And coming down was tricky too - I had to let go of the rock, push my feet into the side of the cliff, and hold my legs out straight. Then, I just "walked" right down the mountain. Ha. Easier said than done. It took me quite a while to get that courage up. But once I actually did it, I'll admit that it was very fun.
After me was Gracelin's turn. She excitedly strapped on the harness, and started right up. She caught on quite quickly, and had a blast climbing up. Of course, we "helped" her along a bit, by pulling the rope up, but she was climbing in a sense - and loving every minute of it. She made it much higher than I did, and made it a point of telling me so.

Not wanting to be shown up by my 2-year-old little girl, I tried again after everyone else got a turn. This time, I made it much higher before I looked down. Of course I was again paralyzed with fear. But coming down was much less scary.

Funny thing is: ever since, I've been dying to go back. I even got a new pair of climbing shoes from my favorite obsession, steepandcheap.com. I think though that we may try the climbing gym next for some work on the basics, but we do plan on conquering the cliffs again soon. G and I are hooked.

I love my kids, but . . .

. . . they're going to be the death of me. If I don't die of embarrassment, I'm sure something else will do me in.

G is at the age right now where she's bound to say something that makes me want to hide my face. For example, what she did to me on Sunday: We had barely sat down in the pew at church when she announced that she had to go potty. So, I took her. But, she insisted on going herself. I stood outside and held the door. She had a bit of difficulty maneuvering herself and her fru-fru Easter dress, and ended up peeing on herself and the floor. I cleaned up the floor, then ran her home to change clothes. We were back at church only 15 minutes late, but a few minutes later, she had to go again. This time Daddy took her. After she was finished, she came running back to tell me, in her loudest almost-3-year-old voice "I didn't pee on the floor this time!" I could hear snickers coming from 3 rows back.

And then there are the embarrassing things she does while playing. The girls got several rubber duckies for Easter this year, and ended up with 2 big ones and several little ones - naturally a mommy, daddy, and babies. I watched her playing innocently. She'd lined them up, and was pushing them as they "swam" across the kitchen floor. So sweet. Then I watched as she picked up a pencil and began stabbing the big blue ducky. I asked her what was going on, and she told me "the mommy duck is mad at the daddy duck, so she's killing him with this pencil!" Ahhh! I hope she doesn't play like that at daycare. People are going to start to wonder what goes on at our house.

Oh, and did I mention a few weeks ago, when I was signing the girls in at daycare. G asked me if I'd remembered to wear my panties that day. The director peeked around the corner and laughed (I'm sure wondering if I often forgot my panties).

I guess being the mommy of a preschooler means lots of embarrassing moments. Good thing she's such a sweetie.

The past few days

I've been lax at updating this weekend.  But, we had a busy few days, and I'd like to update a bit.  How about a recap:

 

Thursday:  Ben's birthday

Ben turned 30, and had the day off.  He spent the morning hiking [url=http://www.utah.com/hike/mt_olympus.htm]Mount Olympus[/url].  I'd arranged for him to spend the afternoon at my [url=http://www.segolilydayspa.com/]favorite day spa[/url] for a massage.  I was somewhat worried that he wouldn't enjoy the massage, but he thoroughly enjoyed every minute of his time at the spa.  I don't know why I was worried - who doesn't enjoy a bit of pampering? 

 

I arranged for a baby sitter for the girls, and I took him to Texas Roadhouse for dinner.  Not the fanciest place, but it was what he was in the mood for.  I mentioned to our server that it was his birthday, so as we were finishing up our dinner, she brought a stool with a saddle on top over to our table.  She told him to "saddle up" and then shined a light on him while we wished him a "yeehaw" for his birthday.  I think I was more embarassed than he was though.  It was a fun night.

 

We were finished with dinner by 7:30, and had the sitter until 9 - but we couldn't think of anywhere to go.  We drove around for awhile, and ended up at my sister and BIL's house.  After chatting with them for awhile, we headed home.  We've gotten boring in our old age.

 

Saturday - hike with the girls:

And wouldn't you know it - my camera batteries were dead.  We hiked to the Bell Canyon reservoir - its only about a mile to the lake, but steep enough when carrying a large baby on my back.  About ? way up, the trail crosses over the stream.  Bryn loved the water, and kept saying "wow".  Gracelin kept saying that she wanted to walk, but since the trail was steep and rocky we kept telling her she needed to stay put.  Finally, Ben got tired of hearing her ask (and probably tired of carrying her too) so he stopped and let her hike.  She did amazing, and made it the rest of the way to the lake by herself. 

 

Although the water level was low, the girls loved the lake.  G couldn't get enough of throwing rocks into the water, and Bryn wanted to swim with the ducks (or "quack quacks" as she calls them).  It was a nice warm day, and very peaceful at the lake.  I could have sat there listening to the water rush into the lake, and the ducks and geese "quacking" and "honking" for a very long time.  Apparently the girls felt the same way - poor Bryn sobbed "bye quack quack" as we packed her back up.  G insisted on hiking down, so we let her try.  She actually made it down the entire way.  At one point near the bottom she took a tumble.  I asked her if she was ok, and she proclaimed that she hurt her elbow, knee, bum-bum, leg and back, but she was ok.  And continued to keep on hiking.  She's a tough little girl.

 

Easter Sunday:

Since our families live so close to one another, we split our time between them this year.  The day started with the girls waking up to find that the Easter Bunny had visited.  I got them books, bubbles, and balls (alliteration theme unintentional).  Then we got dressed in their cute, matching princess dresses (I'll try to attach pics, but I'm not sure if it will work) and headed to church.  After a church and a quick nap, we headed first to my parents' house and then Ben's for the Easter frenzy.  G got dessert at both places, and loved the chocolate pie.  Bryn just loved all the attention.  It was a fun day.

 

I'm getting brave . . .

. . . I signed up for a race! My brother and his friend are coming into town next week, and he convinced me to register for a race with them. Its *just* a 5k, but I'm a bit nervous. I have known for awhile that I want to run a 5k - but all along I was thinking that I'd give my body 6 months to adjust before I tried anything competitive. But, I couldn't tell him no.

I registered last week, and them promptly jumped on the treadmill to see if I even could run 3.1 miles. Guess what? I did it. I ran slowly, trying not to push myself and risk injury. And I finished in 40:24. Not a quick pace by any stretch. But I know that I could have pushed it a bit. So, I should at least finish. My goal is to not have to walk.

I'm also doing a weight-loss contest with some of my friends. We all put $20 into a pot, and the winner (one who loses the most pounds) gets all the money. Quite the incentive. We even emailed "before" pictures, along with the picture of the scale showing our starting weight, to the girl overseeing the contest. Boy was that embarrassing. I can only hope that my "after" pictures look much more attractive. LOL

I do plan on winning the contest. I know that seems like quite the lofty goal since I've been the same exact weight for the past 8 weeks. But I think that I'm finally to the point with my running that I'm going to start dropping the weight. My mileage is to the point where it has to be burning significant calories. 3 miles a day is down one pound every 10 days.

I've really been good about my food intake too. I've stuck to my no sugar rule (other than one sinful piece of apple pie). And, I've given up soda. I slowly weaned myself over the past 2 weeks, and today I drank my last one. Its only water to drink for me from here on out. Maybe some herbal tea if I'm feeling like a splurge.

Self-conscious

My husband is a funny man.  When I first met him, one thing about him that was attractive was that he was so confident - but not in a cocky way.  He was friendly to people, and very comfortable with who he was.  Somehow over the years, he has lost this.  Now he is a very self-conscious person. 

 

Take last night for example.  He was invited by a neighbor to go watch the NCAA championship game with some of the "guys" from the neighborhood.  Before he left, he asked me if I thought he looked good enough.  He was wearing a ratty tee-shirt and some bright blue running shorts - which honestly didn't look very good.  So I told him what I thought.  He decided that he needed to change, but most of his clothes were in the washer/dryer (I've given up on trying to meet his laundry needs, but that a story for another day).  He put on a pair of khaki shorts with a grey tee-shirt, and then asked me if I thought grey and khaki went together.  Again, my answer was "NO".  He didn't believe me - and insisted that grey and khaki were a perfectly fine combination.  So I Googled:  "do grey and khaki go together" to which we found - NO - grey and khaki do NOT go together.  So, he was forced to change again.

 

I've never seen him so concerned about his appearance.  I know he's uncomfortable because he's heavier than he's ever been.  And he really doesn't have a lot of clothes (mainly because its difficult to find stuff that fits him in regular stores, and he refuses to buy big and tall).  Sometimes I long to have a husband of a "normal" size.  I know that is unfair of me.  But I can't even wrap my arms around him.  And then there all the health issues.

 

He has tried.  We started the c25k plan together.  I'm on the last week, while he's basically given up.  I don't think he honestly completed one week of the program.  And he starts new diets all of the time.  Just last week he gave me the biggest guilt-trip about drinking soda (I'm now down to just one diet coke a day thankyouverymuch), but then when we stopped for gas yesterday, he asked me to run in and buy him a coke.  I guess he lasted a week.

 

I worry a lot about his health.  His dad and aunt are diabetic, and not healthy people.  And his family does have a propensity for poor metabolism (he has some overweight siblings as well) - so I know it is going to take hard work.  But I really want him to take charge of his health.

Swimming on my lunch break

I have a wonderful aquatic center across the street from work, and since I've been looking for another non-running activity to do, I decided to go swimming on my lunch break today.  I usually just eat lunch at my desk, which means I don't end up even having a break.  So, I figured I could have a break.  I even went a few days ago and got a new swimming suit.  I found the perfect (modest) black Speedo at Ross Dress for Less of all places - and it was only $16.  What a bargain.

 

So, dressed in my brand new swimming suit (which I have yet to look at myself in the mirror and see how it fits) I jumped into the pool.  I decided to have no expectations for myself.  I haven't swam in years - really since college.  So, I figured I'd just see where I was.  Growing up, I was a swimmer.  I think I've talked about how very un-athletic I was (asthma and bad knees).  But one thing I could do was swim.  I never joined the swim team or anything like that.  But I did take swim classes, even in college.  And I'd go to the pool and swim laps just for fun.  In fact, I've always thought I was one of the best swimmers that I know - maybe not speed-wise, but definitely endurance-wise.

 

Anyway . . . back to today.  Immediately I remembered how much I love the pool, and as I set into a rhythm, I had an epiphany of sorts:  while I'm getting to the point where I can actually run a decent distance without sucking wind, I don't enjoy running.  I've been doing it to get in shape, hoping one day I will grow to love it.  But I do enjoy swimming.  I enjoy the way it forces my breathing and body into a rhythm.  I love the calm and serenity of the water.  And I love how it makes me feel - refreshed and invigorated, without the punishment that running seems to cause.

 

I swam in 3 (down and back) lap intervals:  a freestyle lap, breast stroke lap, and side stroke lap (down on the left side, back on the right side).  I alternated my intervals a few times, and didn't even realize until I looked at the clock that I had gone a full 20 minutes.  My pace wasn't super speedy, although I was faster than either of the men on the lanes next to me.  It felt amazing, but I had to stop and get back to work.  And the entire rest of the day, I've felt really good.  I may not even mind having to work late tonight (we've got a killer planning commission agenda).

End of the 21 day goal

I wanted to update all day yesterday, but I never go the chance.  My 21-day sugar fast ended on Sunday.  And I made it.  I only cheated one time - when I accidentally ate a Life Saver that G gave me.  Really that shouldn't count.  And I did actually eat dessert to celebrate the end.  I had a small piece of Angel Food Cake covered in fresh strawberries - with a dollop of whipped cream (or whoop cream as G calls it).   Mmmmm.  It was yummy.

 

I'm going to continue to limit my sugar intake; however I will allow myself the occasional splurge for special occasions.

 

I didn't lose a single pound during that 21 days.  But, I no longer have sugar cravings.  Its out of my system, and that was my true goal (although the loss of a pound or two would have been an added bonus).

 

So, yesterday was the beginning of a new 21 day goal, and I've been contemplating for a few days what my new goal should be.   I've been toying with the idea that it should be to give up my diet pop addiction.  I LOVE me some diet coke, diet dr pepper, diet mtn dew, etc.  You get the picture.  I have one when I wake up, and usually another by 9am or so.  Then, more at lunch, another during the afternoon, maybe some with dinner, and even more before bed.  I do drink water too - I shoot for 64 ounces and usually make it.  And I do pee lots and lots.  I'm sure most who know me think I have bladder problems because I pee so much.

 

There is no question that I'm addicted to caffeine, and I'm sure the addiction itself is a bad thing.  And I do try and eat so heathy - mostly organic, no processed foods, etc.  I'm limiting chemicals and unnatural food processes in the rest of my diet - its a bit of an oxymoron that I drink so much diet pop.  And I'm sure the artificial sweeteners are pickling my brain.  But its so damn good.  I feel as though I've cut out so much more from my diet, that I deserve at least one guilty pleasure.

 

{{SIGH}}

 

I've decided that I am going to try and limit my consumption, but I'm not ready to cut it out completely.  Yesterday I only drank 2, and I felt ok.  I know that cold-turkey would give me a terrible headache, and probably make me an extremely difficult person to be around for a few days.  Maybe that can be my next 21 day goal.

For now, my goal is going to be to do one item of housework a day.  I know that doesn't sound like an uber-lofty goal, but some days after an early morning run, 11 hours of work, 2 hours of commuting, and getting the kids in bed, I'm exhausted.  Things tend to build up - especially laundry.  So, last night I did 3 loads of laundry.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I had forgotten how easy it is to put away just one load of laundry (usually I'm putting away several).

 

So - there it is.  My new 21-day goal.  Housework.  Wish me luck.

Zion trip

(Having picture issues again - forgive the out of orderness) Gracelin loved the cairns. I can see why - the do seem strange and almost magical. For those of you who don't know, a cairn (pronounced karen, like the girl's name) are used in hiking to mark the way along a trail - especially in an area where the trail isn't necessarily evident. Like in a redrock area. This is a cairn that G built herself, and was extremely proud of.

My annual spring conference for work was held in Springdale this year - just outside of Zion National Park. We saw this as the perfect opportunity to take a mini-vacation with the family. It was a quick trip - only 2 nights in the hotel. But the drive is only about 200 miles, so it was do-able - even with the little monsters . . . er, kids. We even managed to fit a hike in to the Emerald Pools. We packed the girls into their packs, and headed out. I felt I huge difference in my fitness level even from where I was last week. We passed several groups of people - but no one passed us. And we were quite the sensation with our packs. It was a good feeling to pass groups of huffing and puffing people, all while carrying 30 pounds of kids on our back. I will have to admit that part of what kept me going at my fast pace, was the fact that Bryn would cry if I stopped. That girls loves constant motion. I was a bit disappointed in the pools this year though. It seems that the drought was really affecting the water levels. But it was still wonderful.

I did start to have some foot pain on the way down. Ben had forgotten his shoes, so we were forced to buy him a pair of shoes in town before our hike. The salesman convinced him to try a pair of Keens. He was very happy with his purchase. So, after our Emerald Pools hike, I convinced Ben that I needed a pair as well, along with some new support socks. I love them - they are so comfortable. I took a short hike with G the next day, and my feet felt wonderful. My plantar fascitis didn't hurt at all. I'm thinking I may start running in them :)
Gracelin got a hiking hat, that she refused to take off for the first day and half. I'm not sure why I like this picture - I think the cheesy dinosaur looks out of place. But G loved it. How many girls do you see hugging dinosaurs?
The kids had a blast down there. There is something so spiritual about the red rock cliffs. On the way down the canyon, G noted that the mountains appeared to have been "glued together and then painted". She's right - the landscape is simply amazing. There was a park next to the city building, where my conference was located. The kids spent lots of time playing there.

At our hotel, there was a short hike (about 15 minutes) that circled up to a knoll. At the top, was an amazing vista. G hiked up there twice. She's a tough little girl, and she was proud of herself for making it to the top. Bryn cried a lot of the time she was being carried - I finally figured out on our last day, that she was sad because she wanted to be walking too. That girl is all about motion.

Not all mornings are good

I actually went to bed at 9:30 pm last night, and Bryn slept through, with no night wakings.  That meant I got almost 7 full hours of uninterrupted sleep.  I should have felt good and rested - right?  Then why do I feel so horrible?

My run this morning was utter crap.  I actually started out feeling strong, but after about 7 minutes I started feeling really light-headed and sick.  So, I walked 2 minutes and then tried to run again.  I only made it about 2 minutes again before I started feeling pretty sick.  So, I would walk a bit, run a bit.  I did manage to do 2.12 miles in 30 minutes, so all was not lost.  And I do know that there are going to be bad runs occasionally.  It just sucked.  I entered my info into the nifty tracking software at CoolRunnings.com, and my pace was slower than it has been for 3 weeks. 

 

Oh - and I've gained 2 pounds since Monday.

 

Then, on the way to work, I started getting a migraine aura.  It was dark and rainy, so the glare from the lights was bad.  Between that and the flashing, I'm lucky we made it safely.  Usually I can avoid a headache if I can take some meds right when the aura starts, but since I didn't have anything in the car, I had a headache before I even got to work.  So, here I sit, trying to function.  I have a 4 hour meeting that starts in an hour.  I have to be better - I'm taking the minutes.  This is my second migraine in the past 2 weeks - I wonder what has been causing them.  They are definitely increasing in frequency, and its affecting my ability to function on the days I get them.  Strangely too, I seem to get them from looking at bright lights.  Does that even make sense?

 

Poor Bryn's not doing well either.  She's got a terrible stuffy nose and cough.  I can tell she feels utterly miserable, yet there's nothing I can do for her.  Her fever is finally gone though, so I don't think she's got an infection anywhere.  I have been debating taking her to the doctor today, as we're leaving in the morning for a long weekend trip down south.  I really want her to feel better for our trip.  If not, it may end up not being so fun.

 

Sorry I sound like such a bitch today.  I wish I could just go back to bed.

Oh so tired

I'm really dragging this morning.  I took some allergy medicine last night (still can't believe I need it so soon this year) and it really knocked me out.  It normally doesn't hit me this badly, but I'm in such a sleep deficit that its like the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

Bryn refuses to sleep through the night.  It's been so long since she has slept all night, that her nightwakings are a habit now I think.  But, this week she's been really sick, so she's had even more.  Last night she was up 3 times.  At least she just nursed and went back to sleep in the night, but its enough to make for a very tired mommy.  I'm really ready to wean her, but as long as I can nurse her back to sleep in the night I don't want to.

 

I don't know why she needs it so much in the night.  For naps, I just lay her down to sleep and she stays.  And even at bedtime, I do nurse her, but then we read stories and lay down, so she goes down awake then too.  I know she CAN sleep without being nursed.  There's just something about nights for her.  I'd so love to wean, but for now I can't.  Not until she starts sleeping all night.

 

I'm really thinking though that I need to wean so that I can start to lose some weight.  I've been working so hard at it, and the scale just won't budge.  I fluctuate between the same 4 pounds - I have for weeks.  And it just isn't fair.  I eat better than anyone I know.  I'm on day 16 of my sugar fast, and I've done extraordinarily well.  I only cheated one - I accidentally ate a Life Saver that G gave me.  I'm not sure that even counts.  But beyond that, I eat so well - whole grains, nothing processed, no white anything (bread, rice, etc).  I keep between 1500-1800 calories a day.

 

And my workouts are going great.  I'm on week 6 of the c25k plan.  This week I'm doing 25 minute runs - which do wind me, but I can complete them.  I feel great afterwards, and I'm starting to miss exercising on my off days.  In fact, I'm considering finding another exercise to throw into the mix on my rest days - perhaps riding my mountain bike or even weight training.  I'm thinking at a minimum I should be more faithful about situps and pushups - I need to find something to help tone my flabby upper body.

 

It seems like I have the perfect recipe for weight loss.  And I do feel great (if I wasn't so dang tired all of the time).  But I want to look as good as I feel.  I'm thinking that maybe I won't see a significant difference until I do wean Bryn.  I have been pregnant or breast-feeding (or both) since Summer 2003.  That's almost 4 years that my body has been helping to support another person.  Maybe its afraid to let go of any additional weight?  For now, that's the theory I'm going on.

Battlecreek Falls

(For some reason, I can't get the pictures to load correctly)

We took our first hike of the season on Saturday. It was such a beautiful spring day - low 70s and not a cloud in the sky - the type of day just begging you to go outside. And we were very anxious to try out our new Kelty Adventurer packs. So - we decided to give Battlecreek Falls a try. Its only about a mile up a narrow canyon, and while its a steady climb, its not too strenuous. We figured it was a perfect way to break in the new packs.

It actually only took us 15 minutes to reach the falls. Along the way we passed a small cave, that was very interesting to G. We let her out of the pack to explore. The falls themselves were really pretty, but a little drab since none of the trees were out yet. We need to go back in a couple of months when things are green. I'll bet it will be very enchanting then. Even so, Gracelin loved walking down to the bottom of the falls with Daddy. I stayed up on the trail with Bryn - it was a bit chilly down by the water and I didn't want to get her wet and cold.

Gracelin LOVED being in the pack. Poor Bryn didn't love it so much. She was fine as long as I was moving, but as soon as we stopped, she'd cry. It really wasn't fair of us to take her out - she'd had a fever all weekend and a bad cough. In fact, I took her temperature after her nap, and she was 105. Poor girl was probably just miserable. I hope we didn't ruin her forever on hiking.

I felt really out of shape too - its amazing what an extra 30 pounds will do to you. I was so winded, and I broke a sweat. And still today, my back and calves are feeling it. It was supposed to be a rest day from running, but I feel more worked over than I do after a run.

I did it!

I just completed w5d3 on the c25k running plan. For those of you not familar with the plan, this is a full 25 minute run with no walking. I'd been feel lots of anxiety about this day - mainly because, from here on out, the plan calls for straight running, with no breaks for walking in the middle. Its a huge milestone, and I'd been looking to that day with some dread.

Although today is my day off, and I have all weekend, I got up at 5:30 to run. I was worried that if I didn't get it in this morning, it would be a struggle to find time. We're finishing our basement, and the HVAC contractor will be there all day. I really didn't want to have to try and run down stairs while he's working. And I have a Passion Party tonight. I wanted to try and run today too, as tomorrow Ben and I have plans to strap the kids into our Kely Adventurer packs and find a non-snowy trail somewhere. And I want fresh legs for that.

So, anyway, I got up at 5:30 am on my day off to run. Overall, I felt really good. Towards the end, I had to drop down to a 4.5 on the treadmill, which to "barely running". But, I ran the whole thing. About 20 seconds from the end, I think that I maybe threw up in my mouth a little bit - and I counted-down those last few second. But I did it. I immediately felt an overwealming sense of accomplishment. It was a really great feeling.

This may sound strange to say, but I miss running on my off days. I know that the program is pretty clear about having rest days, but I'm starting to think that maybe I could at least get up and walk on my off days. I think if I walked at an incline it would be non-boring enough to make me want to continue. And it would be good training for hiking season that is fast approaching.

I found the coolest running log, appropriately at CoolRunning.com. Its also the webpage that has the c25k plan. I had just never bothered to check it out - I've been logging all my stuff just on a hand-written chart. But yesterday, I entered all my info since I started 5 weeks ago. Its the neatest thing - it keeps track of lots of different information, and then you can create custom graphs to track improvement. Although it doens't feel like I've progressed much, I made a graph yesterday that shows I've shaved almost a minute off of my mph pace since starting. Thats great progress! I highly suggest checking it out. You can even keep track of non-running exercise activities - and you can classify them however you want, and only graph certain activities. I love maps, charts, graphs, etc - this is the perfect thing for me! I'm such a geek.

Totally random things

Thanks for all the concern for Gracelin.  Overall, she is doing much better.  She is still so pale and skinny (she's not eating much).  And she's got big purple circles under her eyes.  But I think she's probably just wiped out from her traumatic weekend.  She hasn't lost her sweetness.

 

Anyway . . .now to my real blog post of the day.  I'm going to talk about yesterday.  Yesterday was the strangest day.  Have you ever had a day where things were almost surreal?  Well, that was yesterday for me.  So weird. 

 

First of all, let me tell you about what happened on my lunch break.  I was in line for a salad at my favorite lunch place. It is a very busy place at lunch, and I'd been in line about 15 minutes. I was next to order, behind a group of 3 women, all around 50-ish. Right as they were about to order, one of the women PEED HER PANTS. She was a very thin and stylish woman, but she was wearing tight khaki pants, and it was very noticeable what had happened.  I felt so badly for her.  But, here's the weird part - she still made her order, waited in line for her food, and carried the tray of food to the table for her and her friends. OMG! I think I blushed for her - meanwhile, she appeared undaunted. I just about died!

The rest of the day went fairly routine.  But, on the way to pick the girls up from DC, I saw an old man on a bike get hit by a car.  He was on a big tricycle-looking bike thing.  I saw him start to cross the road, and almost in slow-motion, saw that he was about to get hit by a car.  I tried to shout out - like I would have done any good - but it was so frustrating to sit there and watch it happen.  I felt so helpless.  But, after it was over, my rusty EMT training kicked right in.  I jumped out of the car and ran to the scene.  I was the only witness and had unfortunately forgotten my cell phone.  The man in the car who had hit the biker was shaken up, but he let me use his cell phone to call 911.  The poor man who had been hit was very disoriented, but seemed ok otherwise.  He kept trying to get up off of the ground, and was very upset that his bike tire was broken.  We were only 2 blocks from the fire station, and they responded quickly.  Luckily the man was ok, and even refused transport. I was amazed that my rusty EMT skills kicked automatically.  And, I was really proud at my ability to be a good witness. But what a day.

 

What a week.  I'm ready to go back to my boring life.

 

Oh - and I may as well update on my running.  Today was the first day that I didn't complete the requirements.  I have kind of been struggling this week with the time change - my body still thinks I'm getting up at 3:30 am (as if 4:30 am is much better).  But about 5 minutes into my run I started having abdominal cramping.  I went upstairs to use the restroom, but by the time I got up there I felt better.  So, I went back down to finish my run.  But, about 4 minutes from the end, I had to walk for one minute.  I know that doesn't sound horrible, but its enough to make me feel like I need to repeat this week.  So, I probably will.  At least I'm trying, right?

Weekend from HELL

Thursday when I picked up G from DC she seemed just fine, but by the time we got home she was burning up with a fever. In fact, she escalated so quickly that I had Ben take her to InstaCare. I was very unimpressed with their level of care - they sent her home telling us she had a virus (never mind the fact that she had no cold/flu symptoms). She had a difficult time falling asleep, so I laid down with her.  About midnight,  she sat straight up, pointed to the window, and whispered "mommy, do you see that?"  Of course I didn't see anything - but she protested that there were alligators trying to come in her window.  She started getting hysterical, and they puked all over her bed.  I took her to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and I took her temp - it was 105.  We had a very long night. She kept thinking there were monsters in her room trying to get her.  Finally about 6am she was delirious, and saying things that didn't even make sense.  She was talking in a weird gibberish-alien language. I took her temp again and it was over 106 on Mortin and Tylenol.

I kind of freaked out a bit - isn't that the level where a fever can "fry your brain?" So, I got the kids packed up and I took her to the ER. They got us back almost immediately.  Since she had no cold/flu symptoms, the doctor initially thought UTI. In order to get a  clean sample, they had to put a catheter in while she was fully awake.  Poor girl screamed and cried - her tummy muscles were flexing so badly.  We waited over 45 minutes for the results.  Finally the doctor came in and told us the urine was clean, and he wanted to do blood tests and a chest x-ray. Poor girl did not handle those well at all.

 

The worst part of the day though was that we were across the hall from the main trauma room, and we could see and/or hear everything. They wheeled an old man in from the ambulance who looked like hamburger. Turns out he had been run over by a semi truck (see article). He was alive when they brought him in, and we basically heard him die. After he died, they wheeled him into the hallway in plain sight of us. His obviously dead body was barely covered by a sheet, and G kept asking my why the poor man had a sheet on his face. He was replaced by a combative man who'd been in a gang fight. He screamed and shouted obscenities for 90 minutes while being restrained by about 6 police officers.

We ended up spending over 6 hours in the ER.  Turns out, G has pneumonia, which is so weird because she doesn't even have a cough, and has been healthy for about a month. They gave her antibiotics at the hospital and sent us home. On the way back from the hospital, we stopped off at my ILs house to pick up Bryn (who had so kindly taken Bryn to their house). While we were there, someone broke into the neighbor's house across the street. The mom had just taken the kids to the park for about an hour, and came home to find their house ransacked. The thieves must have been watching the house for awhile, because in a few minutes they were successful in stealing a ton of stuff - in broad daylight. So scary!

Anyway - back home G wasn't any better. Her fever spiked at home again, and got up to 107. It really scared me. She was already hopped up on Motrin and Tylenol, so I put her into a cool bath. But, her fever was still 107.1, so I called her doctor, who told me to get medical care immediately. SO, we hustled back to InstaCare. I don't think anyone believed me that it was that high, and they treated me like I was an idiot. She was "only" 105 by the time we got there, and they told me to go home - that they couldn't do anything else for her that I hadn't already done. So, we took her back home, where her fever did drop to about 102-03. She actually slept all night, and woke up happy.

 

She's feeling better, but still sick.  She look so pale and sick.  She's not eating very much and seems to get tired easily.  I did take her to daycare for ? day today, but we're following up at 2pm with her regular ped.  I hope this is the end of our sickies for awhile.  Its supposed to be in the 60s all week.  I'm ready for some warm.

All this happened on the same day as my oldest nephew's birthday, so we called that night to wish him a good day. When we called, we found out that he had gotten beat up by his mom the day before his birthday - bad. Then she locked him in the garage where he bled all over. She finally let him in the house, but not before making him clean up his own blood. He called his dad (my brother) to get him. He's called DCFS and his attorney has filed papers to give emergency custody to my brother. They're also filing criminal charges to my ex-SIL on child abuse and neglect. Just the instance a couple of weeks ago where the 6-year-old almost died is probably enough to get full custody to my brother. And, the icing on the cake was that she didn't even buy him a birthday present.  What an evil woman.

 

In the midst of all this, I did manage to get my run in on Friday and this morning (even though today it was like getting up at 3:30am because of day light savings time)  UGH. 

Wednesday = hump day

Get your minds out of the gutters people.  I'm not talking about *THAT*.  Wednesday is the middle of the week:  after today, its all downhill.  For me, this not only applies to the work week.  My couch to 5k running plan is only a 3 day workout.  After Wednesday's workout, I only have one more for the week.

 

Good thing too!  Today just about killed me off.  I'm not sure why either.  I woke up with a terribly sore throat (you know the kind where you can barely swallow your own saliva without cringing?) so maybe I'm getting sick or something.  At any rate, I could barely finish.  By the end of my second running block I nearly died.  I had to cut back to 4.5 mph, which is barely running.  But, technically, I finished.  My last run for the week is a full 20 minute run without stopping.  Its been a long time - years - since I've run a full 20 minutes at once.  Maybe Friday's workout will kill me.  I need to remember though that my focus right now is time.  Not speed.  Not distance.  So I suppose if I have to run at a 4.5 mph pace (which really is BARELY running) at least I AM running.  Right?  And if I do have to repeat a week, so be it.  At least I'm trying.

While I'm here, I'll update on my sugar fast.  Day 3 and I still haven't cheated.  I almost caved last night.  After a particularly stressful day and a bad migraine, my hubby asked me to meet him at Chili's for dinner.  I just had a salad, but he wanted dessert:  Chocolate Molten Cake.  Chocolate is practically medicine for a hormonal, stressed-out woman.  It took all my will power to watch him eat it.  I went home and had ? cup of my no sugar added ice cream (only 120 calories).  So, 3 days down, 17 to go!

Still going strong

My run kicked my butt today. Every week the workout changes. This morning I did:

5 minute warm-up walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk
3 minute run
1.5 minute walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk
3 minute run
1.5 minute run
5 minute run
1 minute walk

I run at a 5.0 mph pace and walk at a 3.0 mph pace. I know it doesn't sound like the most strenuous workout, but for some reason it really kicked my butt today. After I was done, I sat down at my computer to check my progress and see what my Wednesday workout will be (since I know this week is the first week where each day the workout is different). I saw that I'd really messed up. What I was supposed to do is:

5 minute warm up walk
5 minute run
3 minute walk
5 minute run
3 minute walk
5 minute run

Its only 6 minutes less running than I did, but that extra time really kicked my butt. Wednesday I step up to 8 minutes at a time. It should be a piece of cake after doing my extra credit.

I am trying hard not to become discouraged. I know I said that I'm focusing on my fitness level, not what the scale says. And I've even been good about not weighing myself constantly. In fact, it had been 2 weeks since I've been on the scale. So, I got on this morning, and expected to see myself down a pound or too. To my horror, I saw that I've gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks!!!! Ok - so I know that muscle weighs more than fat. And I am on my period. And my clothes are fitting better, so I should let that be my guide. But I'm still discouraged.

I need to probably work harder on my diet. I've been letting myself cheat a bit more lately, because I'm working out. But, I need to be more diligent. I've decided to do another sugar fast. My neighbor was talking to me about goals the other day. He said that every 21 days he sets a goal for himself. That sounds like a pretty good idea, so I'm going to try it too. My goal for this 21 days is:

I'm not going to eat any refined sugars. No treats. No candy. I'm seriously addicted to sugar, so its going to be difficult. But I can do it. I'm also not going to weigh myself until the 21 days are over.

Wish me luck!