Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Oh so tired

I'm really dragging this morning.  I took some allergy medicine last night (still can't believe I need it so soon this year) and it really knocked me out.  It normally doesn't hit me this badly, but I'm in such a sleep deficit that its like the straw that broke the camel's back.
Bryn refuses to sleep through the night.  It's been so long since she has slept all night, that her nightwakings are a habit now I think.  But, this week she's been really sick, so she's had even more.  Last night she was up 3 times.  At least she just nursed and went back to sleep in the night, but its enough to make for a very tired mommy.  I'm really ready to wean her, but as long as I can nurse her back to sleep in the night I don't want to.
I don't know why she needs it so much in the night.  For naps, I just lay her down to sleep and she stays.  And even at bedtime, I do nurse her, but then we read stories and lay down, so she goes down awake then too.  I know she CAN sleep without being nursed.  There's just something about nights for her.  I'd so love to wean, but for now I can't.  Not until she starts sleeping all night.
I'm really thinking though that I need to wean so that I can start to lose some weight.  I've been working so hard at it, and the scale just won't budge.  I fluctuate between the same 4 pounds - I have for weeks.  And it just isn't fair.  I eat better than anyone I know.  I'm on day 16 of my sugar fast, and I've done extraordinarily well.  I only cheated one - I accidentally ate a Life Saver that G gave me.  I'm not sure that even counts.  But beyond that, I eat so well - whole grains, nothing processed, no white anything (bread, rice, etc).  I keep between 1500-1800 calories a day.
And my workouts are going great.  I'm on week 6 of the c25k plan.  This week I'm doing 25 minute runs - which do wind me, but I can complete them.  I feel great afterwards, and I'm starting to miss exercising on my off days.  In fact, I'm considering finding another exercise to throw into the mix on my rest days - perhaps riding my mountain bike or even weight training.  I'm thinking at a minimum I should be more faithful about situps and pushups - I need to find something to help tone my flabby upper body.
It seems like I have the perfect recipe for weight loss.  And I do feel great (if I wasn't so dang tired all of the time).  But I want to look as good as I feel.  I'm thinking that maybe I won't see a significant difference until I do wean Bryn.  I have been pregnant or breast-feeding (or both) since Summer 2003.  That's almost 4 years that my body has been helping to support another person.  Maybe its afraid to let go of any additional weight?  For now, that's the theory I'm going on.

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