Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Gracelin funny

The other day in the car I caught G picking her nose. When I asked her to stop, her response was this:

I'm not picking my nose, mom. I'm just moving my boogers around.


Gotta love kids

My beautiful Brynlee-boo

Brynlee is beautiful. She has creamy skin, pink rosebud lips, big blue eyes and a skiff of fuzzy hair about the color of a copper penny. She is also the happiest baby around, and laughes all the time. She is so strong, and is almost crawling. Bryn is also a big girl. She is 6 months old - she weighs 18 pounds and is 27 1/2 inches long. Her doctor says that she's the size of an average 11 month old. She has always been at the top of the charts, and sometimes doesn't even register on them. I feel badly for her already, because when people see her they always comment on her size. Even her daddy calls her chubbs. I don't think that is an appropriate way to address his beautiful daughter - talk about giving her a complex.

To make matters worse, her older sister Gracelin is a skinny mini. G was only 19 pounds at 13 months old. She is 2 1/2 and only weighs 24 pounds. G's potty trained, but wears a diaper at night - both girls wear the same size diaper! People are always commenting on how pretty she is.

I'm just worried poor Bryn is going to grow up with a complex. I don't want her to be compared her entire life to her petite older sister. Of course, they both have lots of growing to do, but I really worry about how Bryn is going to view herself.

I've always had issues with my body too - even when I was skinny. But now I'm on the chubby side, and I really hate my body. I feel so uncomfortable, and hate shopping for clothes to the point where I mostly buy stuff off the internet. I don't want my poor beautiful girl to grow up like her mommy and hate her own body.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Gotta love potty training

Yesterday on the way home from DC, G told me "mommy, I had a bad accident at day care today". I answered, "you did sweetie? I'm sorry". She responded, "Ya. And I peed in my shoes." Then she looked down at the shoes on her feet and exclaimed "Ewwww. I PEED in my SHOES." Then, she immediately kicked off her shoes in disgust. Of course they were jelly shoes so I'd sure they'd been washed, but it sure was funny.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Silly question

Ok - this may be a silly question, but I've never figured out how to add links to the other blogs I read on my own blog. How do I do this? And do I need to ask permission before linking? Help please!~

Monday, August 21, 2006

Happy 6 months old Brynlee-boo!

Bryn was 6 months old yesterday. I'm so sad that her babyness is 1/2 over. She is such a joy. She has got to be the happiest baby ever. She loves so smile and laugh, and she's so responsive. She's also got a great attention span for her age - she can keep herself entertained for an hour at a time. I think she's growing and teething. She was up 3 times to eat in the night - I"m one tired mommy today. At first I thought she was just really hungry, but now I'm a bit worried I'm having supply issues. I've barely pumped 1/2 of normal today.

Bryn is sitting up well, and starting to launch forward onto her hands and knees. She isn't rocking back and forth yet, but I remember that when G starting doing that it was only a couple of weeks before full-on crawling (of course G was almost 11 months old when she started). She's also got her 2 bottom teeth and she's working on the top 2. She's a slobbery mess - we spent much of the weekend naked because she kept getting her clothes all wet.

Bryn loves food too. I've never seen a baby eat cereal like she does. I've even started giving her some soft solids because she just seems to want more. Most of it gets spit back out, but she still loves every minute of it.

She and her big sister get along so well too. They love each other so much. I love watching them together.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Me - ology

What is your salad dressing of choice?~~homey mustardWhat is your favorite fast food restaurant?~~cafe rio
What is your favorite sit down restaurant?~~Ottavios (Italian)
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?~~At least 20% unless they are rude and totally suck, or forget to refill my diet coke
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?~~salad of any type
Name three foods you detest above all others.~~tomatoes, trout, oysters
What are your pizza toppings of choice?~~pineapple, green peppers, mushrooms
What do you like to put on your toast?~~butter (but I really don't eat much toast)
What is your favorite type of gum?~~I really don't chew gum either - TMJ

Number of contacts in your cell phone?~~???? Too many to count (I got a new phone last month and I'm still working on moving them over)
Number of contacts in your email address book?~~100s (if you count work contacts as well as personal)
What is your wallpaper on your computer?~~Pic of my girls
What is your screensaver on your computer?~~More pics
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?~~if naked baby butts count LOL
How many land line phones do you have in your house?~~1
How many televisions are in your house?~~1
What kitchen appliance do you use the least?~~all of them!
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?~~Adult alternative
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries?~~ too many to count (since I sell them for a living! LOL)

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?~~My straight teeth and great skin
Are you right handed or left handed?~~left
Do you like your smile?~~ Love it - see straight teeth comment above
Have you ever had anything removed from your body?~~tonsils, wisdom teeth, endometriosis stuff
Would you like to get something removed?~~Yep - serious lypo
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?~~ I'm never in the that long - I'm an in-and-out kind of person
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?~~Smell
When was the last time you had a cavity?~ I have one now
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?~~My 2 kids at the same time
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?~~yep - country swing dancing in college I got dropped on my head

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?~~ yes
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?~~ I've never really liked my name per se, but I have no idea what I'd rather be
How do you express your artistic side?~~scrapbooking or decorating my house
What color do you think you look best in?~~Brown
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?~~Forever
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?~~Don't think so
If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?~~Ewwwww.
How often do you go to church?~~ Almost every Sunday
Have you ever saved someones life?~~Ummm - when I was training to be an EMT I went on several ambulance ride alongs, but no one was ever in a life threatening situation, however I did do some medical care.
Has someone ever saved yours?~~ No
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?~~ If it was in Europe
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?~~ Yes (I've always been a bit curious)
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?~~No
Would you never blog again for $50,000?~~Hmmm - have to think about that one
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?~~ Nope - no one wants to see me naked!
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?~~How hot? Probably
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?~~No - I couldn't even take an animal's life for that
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?~~ These are stupid quesitons. I probably would though. It would grow back.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?~~ Yep - I barely watch now. We have rabbit ears on our TV and only get like 2 channels. Ask me to give up my internet connection though and I'd be seriously hurting

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Weekend update

Wow! This weekend just flew by. I have 3 day weekends, and I swear I need 4 days. LOL I had 2 Passion Parties this weekend (yay for the $$$ I made) which kept me really busy, and then my husband was gone a lot. He and I never see each other.

The big news of the weekend was that Gracelin is wearing big girl panties. She only had one accident all weekend too. Of course we still put her in diapers during naps and at bed time, but she's doing well while awake. We even took her shopping, outside to play, and to church. She's doing amazingly well.

The second biggest news is that Bryn is almost crawling. She can get onto her hands and knees from a sitting position and she rocks back and forth. While its fun to watch her grow and develop, I am really mourning the loss of my baby.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Aren't weekends supposed to be relaxing and fun?

I had the LONGEST weekend of my life. Suddenly Gracelin has decided that she doesn't need to do anything I want her to and she cries over everything. Not whining either. This annoying loud screetching cry that makes me want to stick ear plugs in. I'm thinking she may be coming down with something, but she has no sickness symptoms at all. What a personality shift. On top of that, Bryn's got a cold and isn't sleeping well. Yesterday she took 5 15-minute cat-naps all day and then wouldn't settle down to sleep. Last night, I finally put both of my girls in their rooms and let them CIO. I just couldn't cope. I feel like the worst mommy - I totally lost my temper with G and yelled at her. She just kept "stalling" and whining for things that she doesn't need at betime. After the 1,000th time she got out of bed, I yelled at her to "get into bed NOW". She looked at me like I was crazy and I had to go put her into bed.

On top of all of that, I had traded parties with a girl that does Pampered Chef, and Saturday was the party at my house. So, I had to actually clean while all of the chaos was ensuing. And I invited a friend that we hang out with because we feel sorry for (not because we actually enjoy her company). Long story short - the girl WOULD NOT LEAVE MY HOUSE. All the other guests were gone by 1:30, and she stayed until 4. She had put her little boy to bed in G's bed for a nap without even asking me. SO G had no where to sleep and never took a nap (only added to her hellish personality). Needless to say, I haven't slept in 3 days and now I feel like I'm getting sick. I would love a vacation!

The PC party was kind of a bust too. I'd invited almost 50 people, and only 9 showed up. Out of those 9, only 4 people ordered. Party sales were only $144. I felt badly for the girl. I either have really cheap friends, or PC consultants don't make very much. I always try and buy something when I go to a PC party, but honestly I usually only budget $20 (I don't cook, so most of my cooking utensils sit unused in my kitchen). It did make me feel good about my Passion Parties business. The worst party I've ever had there were only 4 guests (including the hostess) and I made $150 at that party and got one booking. I guess its true that sex sells.

My husband gets totally annoyed at me spending even $20 at parties like that. Except when I went to my first Passion Party. I spent $125 and he was mad I hadn't bought MORE stuff. LOL No wonder he encouraged me to become a consultant.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I'm married to a sensitive man

Occasionally I hear women complain about their husband's lack of sensitivity. Well - I have the opposite problem. My husband is THE most sensitive person in the world, and he completely expects me to be happy 100% of the time. It drives me crazy. He doesn't understand that it is TOTALLY NORMAL to have a sad day, bitchy day, etc. He wants everything even-keel around the house and it drives me insane. I feel like I have to tiptoe around him all of the time, lest he think I am unhappy in every way. I can't count the number of times he's complained to me that he doesn't feel like he makes me happy. I'm totally content with my life. I have a wonderful family, job, house, friends, etc. But I do have bad days. I'm really a pretty even-tempered person - I don't have a lot of highs or lows. Its funny because my MIL is a very emotionally charged person. My husband grew up around that - you'd think he'd be happy to have a woman who is generally calm all of the time. Maybe I need to start acting a bit more giddy.

It even affects our kids. He'll tell Gracelin to stop crying all of the time. I have to fix it by telling him (and subsequently her) that its ok for her to be sad or to cry sometimes. (I don't put up with whining though). He can't even stand for Bryn to cry. Last night we were both trying to get dinner on the table, and Bryn was getting fussy. He snapped at me to go get her. I tried to explain to him that its perfectly ok for a baby to cry for a few mintues, that I was busy and I'd get her when I was finished making G's dinner. He snapped back that he can't stand to have crying in the house. WTF? He's living in a house with 3 girls and none of us are allowed to CRY?

Someone better give this man a wakeup call. LOL

Maybe we need counselling. I've got some friends in my on-line mommy's group who are going through counselling and it seems like a good idea for us. We agrue a lot. We've even stopped having sex as often - and the funny thing is that its me being turned down too. What a role reversal we have in our marriage.

We do have major communication issues, and it usually results in a big, fat fight. We also fight over the computer all of the time. I like to come home from work and work on my Passion Parties business. My husband likes to come home and play Final Fantasy until the butt-crack of dawn. Finally he admitted to me yesterday that he feels left out when I'm on the computer, which is so silly. If I wasn't on then he would be.

We also have issues with our work-ethics. I'm perpetually busy. I'm not happy unless I've got 150 things going on. I rarely just sit and watch TV and/or relax. I like working and doing things. He likes to sit and do nothing. He gets mad at me a lot that I won't just sit and do nothing with him. I cannot think of anything I like less than just sitting. He thinks I'm a work-a-holic and I think he's lazy. I'm sure the perfect balance lies somewhere in the middle - that we're each too extreme.

Hmmm. I think I'm just rambling now.

I do love him. He's a good husband and father. He helps out with the house and kids more than my own dad ever did. The girls love him. I love him too, but I have to admit I've thought about leaving him on more than one occasion. Sometimes I miss the excitement of dating. (Maybe he and I should become swingers? LOL) Overall though, I am happy with him and I want to stay married, for more reasons then just the kids.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Pectus excavatum

Gracelin has a pectus excavatum. You can see it fairly well in these pictures. (I love the belly button picture BTW) I remember the first time I noticed it. She was around 4 months old, and in the bathtub. I noticed the water was pooling in it, and I was worried she was having retractions. Since it was time for a well-baby check, I asked her pediatrician about it while we were there. He called it a chest dimple and told me it was merely cosmetic, that we could choose to do surgery later to correct it. Since then, I have done some research on it, and it may be more than cosmetic. Some people with severe deformation can have compression on their lungs and heart. That is a scary prospect to me. Sometimes I worry that she'll have health issues (there I go worrying again).

Besides the health reasons, I wonder what it will do for her body image and self esteem. When she's clothed it is not noticible. But what about when she wears a bikini or starts puberty. Will it be more noticible then? I'm sure it will. Its difficult enough for normal children to have healthy self-images during their teenage years. What about a poor child with a physical deformity.

Is that what she has? A deformity? It makes it sound awful. I prefer chest dimple. Afterall, dimples are cute. RIGHT?

My views on breastfeeding

I breastfeed my babies. Gracelin was BF until 14 months. I only stopped then because I was pregnant, and sick. I thought it was the best decision for me and the new baby I was growing. Brynlee is also breast fed. I pump while at work so that my girls can have EBM in bottles at daycare. I've never supplemented them with formula, other than a few bottles in the beginning while my milk was still coming in (much to the chagrin of the Breastfeeding Natzi, er . . . um . . . Lactation Specialist at the hospital).

I love breast feeding. Just this morning my DH commented to me, as I was sitting on the couch nursing Brynlee, that he just knew I'd be glad when I didn't have to nurse Bryn anymore. I'm sure my response was a bit harsh, but I told him that I love nursing my baby. I love the closeness I feel. I love that it is "forced cuddle time". I love that I personally am nourishing my sweet baby, and that she is growing big and strong because of me. I love that I'm providing antibodies towards illness and lowering her chances of diabetes and obesity, among other ailments. The list could go on and on. Let it suffice to say that I LOVE nursing.

That being said, I've never been comfortable nursing in public. At church, there is a mother's room, complete with 4 rocking chairs and low lighting. Even in there I try to keep covered as much as possible. If we are out, I either pump and take a bottle or I nurse in the car. I don't like the stares I've gotten when I try and NIP. Neither of my babies will tolerate having their heads covered while nursing.

I hate that I'm so uncomforable with it. I really wish that I could be more open to NIP. It truly is baby's best start, and I wish I could be more proud. I suppose that I don't make a very good lactivist.

Its funny too that people are afraid of my pump! They whisper in the office about the fact I am pumping. My coworkers stare at my pump as I carry it to the breakroom to wash the components. They will not put their lunches next to the bottles of EBM in the office fridge. Its like everything even associated with nursing is poison or taboo or something. You'd think I was walking through the office topless from the looks I get. Sheesh