I breastfeed my babies. Gracelin was BF until 14 months. I only stopped then because I was pregnant, and sick. I thought it was the best decision for me and the new baby I was growing. Brynlee is also breast fed. I pump while at work so that my girls can have EBM in bottles at daycare. I've never supplemented them with formula, other than a few bottles in the beginning while my milk was still coming in (much to the chagrin of the Breastfeeding Natzi, er . . . um . . . Lactation Specialist at the hospital).
I love breast feeding. Just this morning my DH commented to me, as I was sitting on the couch nursing Brynlee, that he just knew I'd be glad when I didn't have to nurse Bryn anymore. I'm sure my response was a bit harsh, but I told him that I love nursing my baby. I love the closeness I feel. I love that it is "forced cuddle time". I love that I personally am nourishing my sweet baby, and that she is growing big and strong because of me. I love that I'm providing antibodies towards illness and lowering her chances of diabetes and obesity, among other ailments. The list could go on and on. Let it suffice to say that I LOVE nursing.
That being said, I've never been comfortable nursing in public. At church, there is a mother's room, complete with 4 rocking chairs and low lighting. Even in there I try to keep covered as much as possible. If we are out, I either pump and take a bottle or I nurse in the car. I don't like the stares I've gotten when I try and NIP. Neither of my babies will tolerate having their heads covered while nursing.
I hate that I'm so uncomforable with it. I really wish that I could be more open to NIP. It truly is baby's best start, and I wish I could be more proud. I suppose that I don't make a very good lactivist.
Its funny too that people are afraid of my pump! They whisper in the office about the fact I am pumping. My coworkers stare at my pump as I carry it to the breakroom to wash the components. They will not put their lunches next to the bottles of EBM in the office fridge. Its like everything even associated with nursing is poison or taboo or something. You'd think I was walking through the office topless from the looks I get. Sheesh