Do I at least get an A for effort?

Today was Day 1 of my [url=http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml]couch to 5k running plan[/url]. I know its not the most ambitious running plan, and honestly the first few weeks will be easy. But I've started and stopped my exercise program too many times to count. So, I'm thinking that maybe if I start off a bit slow this time I'll stick with it better.

I set my alarm for 4:45 so I'd have enough time to make it to the clubhouse for a 30 minute workout, and then still have time to get ready for work. I even slept in my workout clothes (good thing they're comfortable) so that I'd have no excuses. Actually Bryn woke herself up coughing at 4:30, so after I got her back to sleep I just put on my running shoes and headed outside. I was surprised to see that it had snowed - but I was undeterred. The walk to the clubhouse is a short one, and I'd be on the treadmill inside. But, as I hit the end of the driveway and rounded the corner onto the sidewalk I slipped on the ice. Down I went, hitting my knee hard. Still undeterred, I got up, brushed off the snow, and continued on. I noticed that I'd landed hard on my knee when I fell, but I was pretty sure I'd be ok. I almost slipped a couple more times on the way there, but I safely made it - only to find that my key didn't work in the door. I've used it dozens of times before. Its one of those "electronic keys" that you hold under a light. The light turns green, it beeps, and the door unlocks. Only the light never turned green today. And the door never unlocked. So, I turned my iPod on (to my really cool workout mix) and decided I'd just do my workout outside. But as I started, I realized that it really was too cold and slick for that to work either. I just went back home, and rode the elliptical in the basement for 15 minutes. All was not lost, and I got a decent workout. But, not the one I wanted.

I also learned a couple of things:

1) I did a good job with my workout mix. I only made it through the 311 and Alien Ant Farm songs on the iPod, but they were very motivating

2) I think I actually need to get up at 4:30 to have enough time for a real workout and still make it to work on time.

3) I need to call the HOA and figure out why my key isn't working. Maybe they can refund a bit of our dues from this month.

I will try again tomorrow morning. Maybe day 2 will bring me more luck.

I read an article yesterday about weight loss. The author suggested that in order to have optimal weight loss and fitness, you need to like your body - even the body that is overweight. So, I've been compiling a list of the things I do like about my body. Surprisingly, its longer than I'd have expected:

1) My skin. I have gorgeous skin. People comment on it all of the time. The other night, we were out to dinner with my in-laws. It had been a crazy day, and I hadn't even put makeup on all day. My MIL commented on my skin and asked what I do to make my skin look so good. I felt a bit rude when I told her: soap and water. Maybe a bit of Oil of Olay (I actually just bought a bit of Avon skin care stuff, and I'm liking it too). But, my "beauty regimen" is basically non existent, yet my skin is gorgeous. I've never had issues with blemishes - even during puberty.

2) My teeth. I had a great orthodontist, and he gave me the perfect smile. But, I've also always taken good care of my teeth. And my teeth are all the same size, so they look just like veneers. My FIL is a dentist, and he raves about my teeth all the time. He also professionally whitens them for me. I love my smile.

3) My hair. I've come to love my hair. I've had issues in the past. Its very fine and just a tiny bit wavy. But, I have a great weave (color job) and a nice flat iron. My hair is long and blonde and very healthy.

4) My hips and legs. I am definitely an apple body. So while my top ½ needs work, my hips down look great. I am solidly a size 10 on the bottom. My legs are nicely shaped and athletic looking. My thighs don't rub together. I actually have muscle definition.

5) My lack of hair on the rest of my body. I don't have a bikini line. I don't have hair on my toes. I really only need to shave my legs about ½ way up my calves (of course I go to the knee in the summer, b/c the peachfuzz can look funny next to a hairless calf).

So, there are things I really like about myself. While my poor tummy is unrecognizable, and my boobs have gone from a 32B to a 38DD, at l east there are parts of me that I love and feel confident about. I'm going to focus on those!

My new blog-stalking obsession

I've been focusing my blog stalking to non-parenting/mommy sites. Maybe its because all my favorites are now fire walled (I swear I don't check them at work THAT much) or maybe because Bryn's pretty much a toddler now. I guess I really don't know the reason, but I have been searching out other blogs to read. My coworker clued me into this one:
http://www.crockettclan.org/running/

I know it sounds crazy from someone who can barely run a mile now (I know because I ran the other night and was sore for 2 days afterwards). I've always wanted to be a runner. In college, I guess I kind of was. Many days, instead of hitting the books, I'd hit the mountains, running up the steepest trail I could find. I also got addicted to backpacking. There's something about going to a remote mountain area, where few people have ever been. I loved pushing myself to the limit. I never did anything close to the mileage the blog guy covers, but I think I could with a lot of effort. Of course, college was years ago. I'm now about 40 pounds heavier, and obviously in much worse shape. But thoughts of actually attempting a competition has been keeping me searching the net to find a training plan.

So, I've come up with a plan. In 21 days, I'm finished with pumping. I pump for 30 minutes in the mornings. So, instead of sleeping that extra ½ hour, I'm going to still get up and go for a run. My goal is to find a 5k to run in this spring. I know that a 5k is nothing compared to an ultra-marathon, but its something to train for. After the 5k, I'll set my sights on a longer race. And I'd like to do a local ½ marathon at the end of the summer. I had a boyfriend in college that would run it. Its a great first-timers race - all downhill. Sounds perfect.

I found a couple of website with training schedules. I picked one that I think I can handle. It only requires 3 days of week of training, and I think I can fit 3 days into my busy schedule. Especially if we buy a treadmill for the basement gym we're slowly building. At any rate, I'm going to document my progress in my blog. Wish me luck!

Recap of date night

I am loving the fact that I can now email my entries in. I may not be
able to check out all my friends' blogs (due to the spam filter) but at
least I can update my own blog. I'll have to save my blog-stalking for
the weekends.

Ben and I went on a real date last night. It has been so long, I'd
almost forgotten how to conduct myself in public with just my husband.
I do love my girls, but sometimes its nice to just concentrate on adult
conversation, and cutting just my own food. We both left work a bit
early, and my parents met us at our house to watch the girls. Both
girls love my mom, so it was fun for them too. Grandma and Grandpa let
the kids do things that mommy and dad never would, so its just one big
party.

Anyway - after we got the kids situated, we headed downtown. We had
dinner at Z-Tejas, and I actually got to order what I wanted to eat,
instead of something I knew I could share with Bryn. I had a yummy red
pepper, mango, and steak salad. It was delicious. Then we headed to
the basketball game - and what a game it was. Utah lost in the last
second, because of a game-winning shot by Vince Carter at the buzzer.
Despite losing the game, it was a lot of fun.

And it was just what our marriage needed. We had so much fun together.
We laughed, held hands, and even kissed in public. I know that I need
to spend more time working on our relationship. Lately I know we both
have gotten a bit lax. It is difficult, always having to focus on the
kids. Most night I'm so wiped out by the time the girls get to bed,
that there is no energy left for my husband. I need to work on that.

Monday Morning

Yep - its a Monday.

We've been sick all weekend. Really sick. We started about 10 days
ago with a bad cold. The stuffy noses have all cleared up, but we're
all coughing and hacking. Ben finally went to the InstaCare on
Thursday. He must have been feeling really sick, because he never goes
to the doctor without serious prodding. Turns out, he has pneumonia and
an ear infection. When I heard that, I made him run Gracelin back (I
was stuck at work). The doctor didn't think she was as sick, but he did
give her some Prednisone to clear up her cough. After 5 days, it really
hasn't helped. Bryn and I seem to be a bit better, so we've avoided the
doctor thankfully.

I've felt especially crappy mainly because I finally got my first PPAF.
I've been dreading it for months because my IUD is supposed to make it
much more heavy and crampy. And it definitely has been. I've been
bleeding through a tampon in less than an hour. I've even leaked
through a tampon and a pad. (Warning - TMI story to follow. Don't read
if you're squeamish) Yesterday I put Bryn down for her morning nap and
went to soak in the tub. The warm water felt so good that I dozed a
bit. When I woke up (after probably only 15 minutes or so) the water
was bright red. It was so gross. I drained the water, rinsed off in
the shower, and cleaned the tub. Ewwww. But, I've been bleeding that
heavy for 4 straight days. I'm wondering how long its going to be
before I bleed to death. My normal periods only last about 4 days, and
I've never had one this heavy. I'm wondering when I need to call the
doctor.

At any rate, our lives have been very hectic, and Ben and I have been
arguing quite a bit. I appreciate the words of advice that many of you
have offered. I do love him, and he is a good husband and father. I
know that I don't want to leave him. But so often I do long for
something more from him. He does try hard though. He loves me too, and
wants to make me happy. After an especially hurtful fight last week, we
had a really long talk. A lot of things were resolved, and things have
gotten markedly better. We're limping along.

Tonight, he and I are going on a real date. Its been so long that I
almost don't know how to conduct myself in public with just my husband.
We're leaving work early, and my mom is coming to spend some time with
the girls (who are both very excited). I think it will be very good for
Ben and I as well.

And speaking of the girls . . . they are both doing just beautifully.
Gracelin continues to be precocious, yet incredibly sweet. One of her
favorite treats is to go and get a Slurpee. But, the last 2 times we've
gone, the Slurpee machine has exploded, sending frozen slush all over
the place. Over the weekend, I took her for a Slurpee (just G and mom).
She chose the purple Slurpee, which of course exploded everywhere.
Luckily it mostly missed G, but it was all over me. In fact, as I stuck
my hand into my pocket for the keys, I got a handful of Slurpee. NICE.
As we were getting into the car to go home, G told me: "Mom, some
people have good luck with Slurpees. But not me. I have bad luck with
Slurpees" I laughed all the way home.

Bryn is growing up way too fast. This weekend she learned to say
"thank you" (tank-oo) and "kitty-cat" (key-caaa). Oh, and lest we
forget this amazing feat:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v365/chutch1/?action=view&current=11monthsold030.flv

My girls are amazing.

Just a test

Ok - if this works, I'll know that I can email posts to my blog.  I can keep caught up!

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8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time
with theYahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.

So much to say . . . so little time

I've been MIA for awhile. Work has fire walled all blog sites. So, not only can I NOT update my own blog, I cannot read anyone else's. It sucks. I really miss my blogging. And I really have a lot to update about our lives and my attempts at dieting. But, I have so little computer time at home. In fact, right now I'm just checking in while I wait for the paint to dry on a craft project I'm working on. Both girls are sleeping too. I should be napping with them as well. But, I always have so much to do (housework, other projects, blogging, etc) that sleep takes a back burner most days.

I promise to be better. I'm thinking there has to be a way for me to email posts to blogger. I'll have to figure that one out.

Day #2 of no sugar, and other ramblings

Ok - I actually made it 24 hours with no sugar and I'm still going strong. I know that may not sound like anything special, but for me its a very significant achievement. I have a serious sugar addicition. I actually feel really good this morning. I ate well yesterday, but didn't exercise. I even had time around 8pm after the girls were in bed, but by then I was exhausted. I was in bed by 9:30, which was much needed.

I'm a bit worried about Gracelin. Yesterday was her first day off of the antibiotics after her UTI, and when she peed last night she said it was "spicy" again. Then this morning, it was a fight to get her to pee. I don't know how she holds it in - she wakes up dry and then won't pee in the morning. Excellent bladder control for a 2 year old. Anyway, I realized last night that I had never gotten the results from her urine culture. The day we originally went to the doctor (and she had such a difficult time leaving the sample) they did a quick "urine dip", which was positive and then a full culture that was supposed to take a few days. I totally spaced calling to get the results until last night. Although it was after 8pm, I called and someone was there. She looked up the results and said that there was staph in the culture. She then put me on hold to consult with the doctor as to what to do. When she got back on the phone, she told me that it was technically a negative culture because staph is naturally present in our bodies, and they couldn't prove it was an infection. She told me that maybe I need to change G's bath soap. WTF? That day I took her into the doctor with a fever of 104 and classic UTI symptoms. After 24 hours on the antibiotic she started feeling better. It kind of pissed me off a bit for her to tell me that it was caused by her soap.

I think I'm going to try and take her into her regular doctor in a couple of days. I do want to wait a bit and see if she can feel better on her own. I don't want to subject her to needless tests if I don't have to. But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit worried. She's always had problems with infections. Even from birth. One of the reasons she had to say in the NICU (other than being preterm of course) was that she had a mystery infection, and had to be on IV antibiotics. Then, she's had countless ear infections that only clear up with her tubes in, and her "grossly" infected adnoids. It just seems like she's been on antibiotics more than she's been off of them. It can't be good for her.

My MIL wants me to take her to the herbologist and get her on probiotics. I wish I could get her to eat yogurt, because that might just do the trick. I'm hesisitant to give her anything from that crazy herb guy. I went with my DH once, and he gave me the creeps. He's seriously PSYCHO. And I don't feel comfortable giving my kids stuff from him. I feel better taking her to the chiropractor first - that actually isn't such a bad idea.
Hmmmm . . . I'm just rambling now. Is it obvious how bored I am at work? I think I'm going to take an early lunch soon, to return something to Old Navy, check the sales there, and go look for a pair of new shoes. I love shoes. :)

Blah

There is no other word to describe how I'm feeling today, other than BLAH. I'm not sure why - Christmas is over, and we survived. I should be very happy about that. Both of my kids are healthy right now, which is something that hasn't happened in months. And Ben and I are even getting along (mainly due to the fact that I allowed him to convince me that what he read in Yahoo is true - that couples who have sex at least 3 times a week are more healthy). But for some reason I'm just, well, for lack of a better word . . . BLAH.

For one thing, I'm working this week. I suppose someone has to be in the office, and since I still have no vacation (a result of being used up for maternity leave and sick kids) I had no choice other than to be in the office. But is so damned slow that I'm dying. Have you ever heard the term "bored to tears". Well - its a fact. One can truly be bored to tears. I'm just about at that point now.

But, I think my feelings are more than that. I'm very unhappy with my appearance lately. I think it would be safe to say that I hate how I look. I'm the epitome of the frumpy, ugly mom. I've never been a super "glam" type girl anway. I'm more earthy. I haven't had my hair cut or colored since Gracelin was 11 months old, which is almost 2 years ago. So, I've got long scraggly hair with really bad roots. On top of that, I ran out of my makeup sometime in the summer and haven't bothered to buy more. So, my skin looks sallow and quite old - partially from the winter weather, but moreso from my extreme sleep deprivation. My eyes are constantly baggy and heavy. I'm quite the sight.

Then, there is the issue of my weight. For anyone who is a regular reader of my blog (I think there may be a couple of you out there) you'll know this is a constant source of stress in my life. I used to be quite thin, but now I really struggle with my weight. This December has been really bad for me. I gained 7 pounds this month because I just cannot stop myself from gorging on all of the holiday goodies.

Finally last night I decided that I am giving up the junk once and for all. I don't even enjoy eating it most of the time, yet I cannot stop myself. So, today so far I've eaten:

a bowl of 6 grain cereal (whole oats, wheat, barley, sunflower seeds) with skim milk
an apple
taco salad (with whole wheat flour tortilla)
an orange
diet dr pepper

I just talked to Ben on the phone, and he picked up a pizza for dinner. I'll probably be alright if I just eat a piece or 2. I'll make some steamed veggies to eat with it, and maybe top the night off with a warm cup of sugar free cocoa. I am still breastfeeding afterall.

I know that I need to do something to change myself. I've never really been "pretty", but my "style" worked for me since I was thin and athletic. Now that I'm carrying around 30 extra pounds, I just look like a lazy and frumpy mom.

Christmas 2006

Christmas started early for us this year. Because my parents went to Cincinnati to be with my brother and his family, we had "Christmas Morning" with them on Dec 23. We went over to their house in the morning to open presents and have our traditional Christmas brunch. It was a really good day there. Of course, my mom and sister went way overboard and totally spoiled my kids, but they loved it. Gracelin got a Barbie house, Barbie car, and lots of Barbies to go with it all. She was in heaven. Bryn mostly enjoyed eating the presents and wrapping paper, but she had a really good day as well. After brunch though, my dad started a fire in the wood-burning stove, and I must have been allergic to something he burned. Everyone left to go sledding, except for Bryn and I, and I had the worst asthma attack I've had in years while I was home alone. I actually started getting scared because my inhaler wasn't working. In fact, we ended up leaving early so I didn't die.

We weren't able to go home though. The 23rd is my MIL's birthday, so we headed over to her house for her party. I cooked my contribution - broccoli-cheese soup - while I struggled for breath. I'd let myself get so bad with my asthma, that I couldn't even get a breath. We finally just left her house early to go home, where I took 2 breathing treatments, my steriod inhaler, 2 Benedryl, and 4 Motrin (for the inflamation). Luckily that calmed things down enough that I didn't die, but it was scary.

Sunday (Christmas Eve) was a fairly quiet day. We dressed the girls in their pretty Christmas dresses and went to church. Afterwards, I made some corn chowder and we had my sister and her hubby over for dinner. It was a nice quiet nite. The girls got new PJs to wear to bed. We read the Christmas Story and put them to bed. Poor Gracelin was so excited for Santa that she had a difficult time falling asleep. My sister and brother-in-law stayed to watch a movie. Then, we put out presents and went to bed.

On Christmas Day, Gracelin woke up at 4:45 and couldn't go back to sleep. She told me that it was time to wake up because Santa came. Since it was still very dark outside, I tried telling her that she needed to go back to sleep because Santa hadn't already come. But she was too smart for that. Ben let me go back to sleep for about an hour while he and Gracelin watched a movie. Finally, we woke Bryn up so we could open presents. It was a fun to have a nice, quiet morning with just our little family. Bryn again was just content to eat her presents. Gracelin got more Barbies. We got Daddy a golf travel bag and a new watch. Mommy got Shopping Barbie, complete with over $300 in gift certificates to her favorite places. I was so excited to get online yesterday to American Eagle and find a Christmas Day only sale - complete with 15% off my entire order (after the almost 50% off most items) and free shipping. After presents, we had buckwheat pancakes with fresh blueberries, and then let the girls play for awhile. Then, everyone expect mommy got a long nap. I spent my time in the kitchen preparing my famous corn pudding for our Christmas Dinner feast.

After naps, we left for Ben's parents' house for Christmas Dinner and more presents. Grace and Bryn got a tent, which they are very excited to set up today, and Ben's Dad got us 10 shares of Disney stock! I'm very excited for that. We don't own any stock (other than the mutual funds I invest in through work) and I'm really excited to learn how to buy and sell stocks. Dinner was fantastic, and once again I ate way too much (another common theme).

Finally, we headed home for some much-neeeded sleep. Both girls slept all night, which means I'm actually somewhat rested. Which is a really good thing considering the fact that I'm back at work today. :( I guess someone has to be here. Its a shame too, because its so slow here. I wish I was back in bed.

By popular demand

Pics of Bryn - 9 months old:

10 months old

Bryn is 10 months old today. I can't believe she's almost a year old already. Time has definitely gone faster with her than it did with G. Here's a quick update of what she's doing:

She has strawberry blonde hair, blue green eyes, and an infectious smile. Bryn is almost walking - in fact, I'm quite surprised that she doesn't walk yet. Her new favorite toy is a walking toy - she uses is to move around the house wherever she wants to go. Its given her a newfound freedom that she loves. Bryn is so very coordinated and physical - we can already tell she’s athletic. She has mastered crawling and is into everything.

She is also babbling up a storm, and can even say a few words already - namely Dad (which is very clear) and DeeDee (for her sister Gracie). She has yet to say Mom, but we know that is only because she is saving the best for last. She also tries to repeat everything we say, and quite often she says something that sounds very close to being a real word. My favorite thing she says is "Hi Dad", which she does while waving. Its so cute, and she says it so clearly.

She has big, bright eyes, and is very aware of everything going on. My dad is amazed by how aware she seems. I'm pretty sure she understands everything that is going on around her.

Bryn is becoming quite finiky when it comes to food. I try and give her finger foods (because she's graduated pureed foods), but she prefers what is on my plate. She'll eye me while saying "MmmmmMmmmmMmmm" until I give her some. Then, she acts like a baby bird - grunting at me with her mouth open until I feed her what she wants. Just like her sister, she loves foods with taste - especially spicy Mexican foods. I worried at first that it would bother her stomach, but she seems just fine with it all. She still nurses quite a bit, and drinks bottles of EBM at work. Mommy is still pumping during the days, and she doens't need formula still.

She has been sleeping a little bit better, but she still has lots of night wakings. I think a big part of that may be that she seems to always be sick. Right now she's got a runny nose and barky cough, and I think she just wakes a lot from being sick. Hopefully she'll grow out of it soon, because mommy is dragging all of the time.

Bryn is such a blessing to our family. She loves to cuddle and hug, play with toys, read stories, take a bath, and EAT. If we could only get her to sleep through the night life would be good. But, she has a laid-back personality and is such a joy.

Someone needs to quarantine my house

Here's the long saga of my weekend a few days late:

Thursday night was my work Christmas party and the daycare Christmas party. We opted for the DC one, since we felt it was more important to support our kids. It was really cute. The kids dressed in reindeer hats, and had a bunch of song and dance numbers. I was worried that G would be too shy to perform - she did actually go up there, but stood there stone-faced the entire time. She wouldn't move a muscle. After the program, Santa came. Again G surprised me by actually sitting on his lap. Afterwards I asked her what she said to him. Her response, "nothing mommy. I was too scared to talk."

Saturday night Ben and I had planned to go to a party, and the kids had planned a sleepover with Grandma. Well, Ben and I were just finishing up dinner when my mom called to say G was really sick. By the time we got there she was burning up and had thrown up. We took her home and missed the party. She was up most of the night. I dosed her with the Motrin/Tylenol alternating every couple of hours though the night, and her fever never went below 102. By morning she was up to 104. She kept saying that her tummy hurt, but she didn't feel like she was going to throw up. I asked her to show me where it hurt, and she pointed down low. Then she started telling me that her back hurt. I started suspecting UTI.

So, we were off to InstaCare Sunday morning. Dr there also suspected UTI, but wouldn't give her meds until we could confirm. But, G refused to pee in the "hat". She had a major meltdown in the office, until finally I agreed to let her try at home. But then she woulnd't go at home either. I figured she'd finally have to go so bad that she'd relent and go. But, she held it for 3 more hours. Finally, I decided to just make her do it. I bribed her - I told her that if she'd go I'd take her to the store and she could pick out anything she wanted. But she still wouldn’t' go. So, I ran a bath, and stuck her in (she always has to pee as soon as her feet hit the water). It worked, and we finally got our sample, but she cried the whole time and said that her tummy hurt and her pee was spicy.

We took the sample in, and they confirmed bacteria. The doctor said they're doing a full culture, and depending on that he will probably want her to see a specialist. Apparently, its rare for a child that young to get a UTI, and they want to rule out any underlying causes. My poor kids. Are they the sickest children ever?

Anyway - then I had to keep my promise, so we stopped by Target for her to pick something out. She chose a Barbie (surprise, surprise). After only 2 doses of the antibiotic, her fever was gone and her appetite back. She ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch!

During all of this, Bryn's really sick again and needing breathing treatments. Then, Ben let her fall on her head off of the couch. It literally made me sick. She fell of backwards and landed right on top. Her neck snapped back, and she actually bounced back onto her face. For a few seconds she just laid there - I was sure she was dead. Then she screamed, and cried, and wailed. I was physically sick. It took me a few seconds to react, but then I was able to comfort her. Luckily she calmed after only a minute. Then my EMT training kicked in, and I assessed her for a head injury. Turns out she was just fine, but it was so scary.

Oh, and we got the most amazing snow storm during all of this. We got well over a foot, and its perfectly wet and heavy - not the typical Utah power. Its perfect snowman snow. And poor G didn't get to enjoy any of it.
Overall G’s doing better. Her fever is gone and her appetite has returned, but I cannot get her to empty her bladder. Anyone have suggestions on how to get G to pee? Its been the biggest fight the past few days because it hurts her to go. So, she'll hold it forever, but then only go enough to make her comfortable again. I will say that she's got amazing bladder control for a 2 year old. But, if she won't empty her bladder she'll never get the infection out.

Poor Bryn woke up with puss draining from her ears this mornng. I don't know what is up with my kids being sick all of the time. Except that I was a very sickly child. I missed so much school. One year, I had mono the entire month of December, got better just in time for Christmas, and then got strep throat the first week back of school. In all, I think I missed 5 straight weeks of school. I am a fairly healthy adult now though, and *rarely* even catch colds {knock on wood}.

What my kids are up to

We had a fun weekend. I just love my girls. I haven't updated much about them lately. Here's what they're doing:

Bryn loves people lately, and will go to anyone. She even hugs my dad, and he's pretty big and scary to most kids. Speaking of, poor Bryn is sick again. SHe was up most of the night coughing, and when she finally fell asleep G woke up (I don't even drink cofee, but this is appropriate ) . I've even been giving her breathing treatments. She's the funniest kid - most kids cry throughout the treatments, but she loves it. In fact, she cried this morning when I turned the machine off. LOL She is always sick though. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I've actually been considering getting a nanny. They're pretty cheap here. I could get a young mother, that maybe has a child of her own, to come 4 days a week for around $1200. My SIL has a Mexican nanny that she only pays $1000 month for. She does light housework, laundry, and cooking too. And, she only speaks spanish to the kids. Her twins that are G's age are completely bilingual.

Bryn had a language explosion this weekend. She says "dad, dad, dad" whenever she sees Ben. She also loves the tree, and yesterday kept calling it a "tee" - with heavy ennunciation on the "t". Then, we went to my parents' house for dinner. I took her over to see the cat, and she called her "key". Whenever she wants food now, she says "MmmmmMmmmm" And, of couse she still calls G "DeeDee". If only I could get her to say mommy. Why is that one so difficult?

Bryn also loves to eat. A LOT! The mere sight of her highchair will elicit squeals of delight. She especially loves macaroni and cheese, although she has liked everthing I've fed her, except tomatoes. I thought I'd try, but no one in our family likes tomatoes, so I wasn't expecting much.

G is so smart, and I think she is starting to understand Christmas too. This morning we were singing "Here comes Santa Clause". She told me that she would have to pull the covers over her head so she won't see Santa when he comes. Then she told me that I'll have to help Bryn, because she can't pull the covers up herself. She said that Santa is bringing her all the Barbies and that Bryn is just getting some baby toys.

She really understands a lot lately. Last night in the car, we had the radio on. From the back, we realized she was singing along:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, JUICY.

And then this morning, she asked:

G: Mommy, did that man just say "everything is going to be alright, rock-a-bye?"
Me: Yes Gracelin, he did
G: Why did he say that?
Me: He is telling a girl who is sad that it will all be ok
G: Why is she sad?
Me: I don't know. Maybe her friend hurt her feelings.
G: Was it her big boy friend? The one who is singing?

Last night we were at my parents house for dinner. After dinner, my mom told G that she had a suprise for her, and left to get it. While she was gone, G said to my sister:

G: Aunt Jen, do you know what the suprise is?
Jen: Yep!
G: Oh, can you tell me what is it?
Jen: Nope. If I tell you, then it wouldn't be a suprise anymore.
G: Oh. But you know?
Jen: Yep, I do know.
G: Oh, well then can you tell me what it is?

The conversation went on like that for a long time, until finally Grandma appeared with 2 new Christmas books and a special blanket for reading stories underneath.. She was in heaven! G and Grandma read Christmas stories for a long time beneath the Christmas tree.

Graceln loves Barbies so much too - its almost an addiction. She can take the clothes off, but needs help putting them back on. Her babies have elaborate escapades. The other day they went to Chilis and then went to the pumpkin patch. They also like to table dance to "I'm a Barbie Girl" by Aqua. Thats G's new favorite song. We're probably horrible parents for letting her play with barbies in the first place, and then for letting her listen to that terrible song.

The passing of the torch

One of the things I was most excited about when I found out G was a girl, was passing down all the things about growing up that I loved to my own little girl. Of all my toys growing up, my absolute favorite thing to play with were my Barbies. And I was oh-so anal about them as well. I kept them in their original boxes with all their original clothes and accessories. Their hair was taken care of, and they were loved. (and dare I admit this publicly . . .) I also still have a Barbie collection. I have about 2 dozen Barbies in my basement in boxes that have never even been opened. Most of them are Christie dolls, Barbie's African-American friend. I am so whitey-white, but my name is Christie. So, when I found a Christie, I would buy her. But of course, there are also regular Barbies down there, as well as some of her other friends.

When Gracelin came home from daycare a couple of weeks ago talking about the Barbies she played with there, I was excited to share mine with her. I'll admit that its difficult to watch her not brush their hair, and to constantly lose their accessories, but I'm letting her play her way. I even opened a brand-new one (Ok - she's really and old Barbie) to play with.

She's estatic. Gracelin has a very active imagination. Last night her Barbies went to Chili's for dinner. They had chips and salsa with Diet Coke to drink. One of them ordered a salad and the other had chicken nuggets. She loves to change their clothes and comb their hair. For a two-year old, she really takes care of them well. Last night she had to tuck them into bed (they've replaced Soft Dora in the doll-bed) before she herself could sleep.

Rotavirus (aka Roto-Rooter virus)

Last Monday went just about like any other Monday. I picked the girls up at daycare and they seemed just fine; however, on the way home, Gracelin puked everywhere. Now, since she pukes in the car quite frequently, I wasn't overly concerned. Especially since we got home and she eagerly ate her black beans and quesadilla from Cafe Rio. But, when she woke in the night and puked all over her bed, I knew she had a tummy virus. In the morning she seemed fine, other than the fact that she wasn't hungry (very abnormal for her) and she had diarrhea once. So, Bryn and I stayed home with her on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, she still had a fever, so daddy stayed with her. I went to work and took Bryn to daycare. Unfortunately, she didn't last there very long. They called to tell me she was throwing up. When I picked her up, she was happy and seemed ok, so I took her back to work to finish some reports. Bad idea - she puked all over me and my office. Yucky. So, home we went. Poor girl went from bad to worse. At one point, my sweet baby was puking and pooping at exactly the same time. She felt miserable, and spent most of Wednesday exploding from both ends. Daddy had basketball tickets, so I had my parents come over to help out. (bad idea for them - 48 hours after coming to our house, they both got sick)

I woke up in the middle of Wednesday night throwing up, and with a fever of 101. UGH. Not a good thing when I had a sick baby, and a very not-sick, bored from being home all week, 2 year old to take care of. I spent most of Thursday lying on the couch and/or running to the bathroom. Thanksfully, Bryn was feeling pretty much herself, other than some really rank diapers. She was very sleepy though, and took 3 long naps.

I felt so horrible - I don't think I'd felt that sick in years. And I lost 7 pounds in 24 hours. I was so achey that it hurt to be touched. And I was so cold. I just couldn't seem to get warm. It was only about 14 degrees outside, and I didn't realize that our heater wasn't working. I just thought I was cold from being sick. When Ben got home from work, he noticed that although the thermostat was set to 70, it was barely 60 in our house. He decided to take the kids to his parents house to get warm (bad idea for them, as they also got sick 48 hours after coming into contact with us) while I waited for the repairman.

Friday came, and we were all feeling somewhat better. There was only one yucky diaper to change, and no puke. Yay. Although it was a yucky virus, at least it was over quickly. I still don't have my appetite back yet (maybe because the memory of being so sick is still so fresh in my mind), but I'm not complianing. I am down a pants size. Maybe having the Rotavirus was just the kick-start my metabolism needed.

I suck

I feel like I may be losing my mind. I have absolutely no short-term memory. I can remember my best friend’s phone number from kindergarten, but I can’t remember where I felt my keys. Its really frustrating too, because I used to be so on-top of things. Lately I feel like I can’t even keep track of the basics. I constantly forget where I put my keys and glasses. It frustrates Ben beyond belief because it seems every time we’re trying get out the door to go somewhere I’m frantically looking for my glasses, keys, or both. But, it really is way more than just that. Here are some of the other things I’ve forgotten recently:
*I take the time to pack a lunch for work, then forget it.
*I get the baby’s bottles all ready and then forget to take them.
*I actually remember to take my pump bag to work, but all the components are at home.
*I promise to call a friend back on the phone, and then never do
*I put in a load of laundry to wash, and never move it to the dryer. I realize a couple of days later when I can smell it rotting in the laundry room.

It gets worse though – at least those things are really just an annoyance. I pay all of my bills online. I’ve got everything set up for automatic payment. Because its so easy, I’ve gotten lazy and rarely even check to make sure they pay. Its really helpful for people like me who have no short-term memory. Well, its helpful as long as it works.

On Tuesday, Ben got home from work at about 5:05 pm. He went into the kitchen to make dinner, but discovered that we had no water!! He called me frantically to ask if I’d paid the water bill. At first I was very offended. Of course I paid the bill. I pride myself in the fact that my credit score is well over 700 (better than our finance guy’s actually). In fact I’ve never been late on a payment or bill – EVER (well, I never had anyway). I told him to call the City to see what the problem was, but of course it was just after 5pm and they were closed. So, I decided to do some checking. I went into our account on-line, and sure enough I hadn’t paid the water bill. Not last month, the month before, or the month before that either. Strangely, my auto bill pay had just stopped paying the water bill. I was mortified. I’m a responsible person. We work hard to stay out of debt and to pay bills on time. How did MY water get shut off? Of course I have the money to pay it too – that was the worst part.

Honestly, I can’t believe the City wouldn’t call first before coming to shut off the water. Not only would it have saved us a $75 re-hookup fee, it would have saved me the embarrassment of having to call my mom to ask if we could spend the night because our water got shut off. UGH. Talk about the most embarrassing call I’ve ever had to make.

So, we packed things up and headed over to my mom’s house. I was so grateful to have her there to help. I kept thinking about how desperate a person must be who is in a similar situation, but has no family to help. At least I know that if something bad ever really happens, I’ve got my parents there to help out. It was actually fun to spend the night there. My mom and I stayed up way too late chatting. And I woke up in the morning, called the city, and payed the bill over the phone. Our water was back on before Bryn’s morning nap.

I am starting to think though that maybe something is wrong with me, other than being sleep deprived and overly stressed. I’ve been having terrible, almost debilitating migraines. My vision is blurry, and I get migraine auras a lot. Bright lights are too much for me. I keep the blinds closed all the time, and wear sunglasses on cloudy days. I have to – too much bright light makes my migraines worse. Memory loss + headaches must be the symptoms of something bad right? Something more than stress and sleep deprivation?

9 months old

Brynlee is 9 months old today. Just yesterday I was noticing that her face had changed – she looks more like a toddler to me, and less like a baby. She really is growing up and changing. In some ways it is sad to me – I miss my cuddly little baby. But, I’m excited too for the toddler stage (I think - someday I may regret saying that). Here she is at 9 months old:

Bryn is such a strong and physical little girl. She crawls like a champ and pulls up without any effort. The other day, I caught her trying to stand up alone in the middle of the floor, and she almost did it. She cruises along the furniture and even lets go to try and take a step or two. She also loves it if I hold her fingers and let her walk. I still think she’ll be walking by Christmas.

All this physical activity has thinned her down quite a bit. Her latest nickname is Squish or Squishy, so you can tell she’s still nice and cuddly. But, she’s quickly losing the baby fat and replacing it with toddler lean. I’m not sure how much she weighs (her 9 month well baby check isn’t until next week due to Thanksgiving). Her hair is growing in thick and redder every day, and I still can’t tell what color her eyes are going to be – they range from blue to green to grey on any given day. Regardless, her peaches-and-cream complexion, big eyes, and long eyelashes make for a beautiful girl.

Last week was quite an eventful week for Bryn. On Tuesday she got tubes in her ears because of frequent infections. Although she should have been feeling better, she was still really grumpy and sleeping poorly. We figured it out a couple of days later when 4 teeth came in all at once. Poor girl really wasn’t “that” grumpy all things considering. Generally she is a sweet and happy baby. She’ll hold her arms out to anyone that will cuddle her (although mommy is her first choice). She loves to smile and squeal. But, she does have a temper. Luckily, she usually doesn’t get too mad, unless she’s tired or not feeling well. But, she’ll hold her breath until even her tongue is blue, and then wail and scream like she’s dying. A quick hug from mommy does the trick though, and calms her every time.

She’s been sleeping terribly lately. We let her get into some bad habits being sick lately, and she averages 2 night wakings a night. Sometimes its more, sometimes less, but its been weeks since she’s actually slept through the entire night. Usually she just needs to nurse for a few minutes then she’ll go right back to sleep, but its making for a very tired mommy.

She’s become good at communication. I’m pretty sure she understands almost everything we say. For example, in the bath if we tell her to splash, she’ll kick her feet and flail her arms. She also understands “no, no, no”, and although won’t always stop what she’s doing, she’ll give me an evil baby grin to show she knows that she’s been caught. And if I ask her to play “Pat-a-cake” she claps her hands and squeals. She does call her big sister “Deedee” and calls for “Dada” as well. Occasionally when she’s really grumpy, she’ll kind of moan “Mamamama”. I also think that she tries to sing, as she’ll sit and melodically “talk”. My favorite thing that she does is that she’ll sit in my lap and “talk” to me. She will make a sound, and I’ll repeat it, then she’ll repeat it again – and on and on and on the game will go. It makes her so happy when I repeat her. She and I will sit and have conversations like this for hours.

Food wise she’s become quite finicky. Mainly, I think she’s just tired of pureed food, but isn’t quite ready for solids. I tried to give her some peas last night, but they kept gagging her. She loves really soft finger foods. Lately if I put her old favorite (oatmeal with bananas) in her mouth, she’ll promptly blow raspberries until all the food is spattered onto mommy. She thinks its really funny.

Her favorite toys right now are G’s babydolls and the TV remote. The other night her daddy was watching her, and she pitched such a fit when he tried to take away the remote that he put her into bed with it. She curled right up with it and fell asleep. We’ve tried to give her an old remote that no longer works, but she wants the silver Dish remote. She also LOVES any book, and will sit on my lap for the longest time if I read to her. I’m glad that she loves to read.

Bryn is such a joy and a blessing. She is a bright little girl that makes everyone smile.

I guess I can add dumpster diving to my list of accomplishments

Did I post the other day about losing my keys at church? Well, I did. They seeminly vanished into thin air. Lying in bed that night, I retraced my steps, and remembered that I'd thrown away a 1/2 eaten granola bar and an empty bag of fruit snacks. I convinced myself that they keys had somehow ended up in the trash with the garbage I threw away.

So, driving home from work Monday night I went past the church building. There were people there, so I dropped the girls off with Ben and headed over to check the garbage cans. I went inside, and was met by the man who was cleaning. He had already taken out the trash, but had keys to all of the rooms in the building. He helped me look in all the rooms, but the keys were nowhere to be found. They must be in the trash.

I drove my car to the edge of the parking lot where the dumpster is. I kept my lights on so they would shine inside. Luckily there were only 6 bags of garbage inside. Without even thinking, I climbed inside to begin my search. Amazingly, the third bag I opened contained the 1/2 eaten granola bar and other garbage. I went through the bag piece of garbage by piece of garbage. It was much more disgusting that I'd imagined. There were poopy diapers in there, and smashed up cupcake that got under my fingernails. It was cold and lightly snowing, and I was wearing only my work clothes with no coat. And after all that work, my keys were nowhere to be found.

Disheartened, I then realized that I was stuck inside of the dumpster. The lowest side hit me mid-chest, and the sides were completely smooth. I kind of panicked a bit, sure I was going to freeze to death inside the trash. Ben knew where I'd gone, and would eventually miss me. Right? But of course I do have the car with the carseats, so how would he come to look for me? I think at that point, there sheer will to live got me out - as I clawed my way over the side. Without my keys.

We survived!

First off, I just want to thank everyone for your concern for my girls. I really appreciate all the kind words!

My biggest worry about the surgery was the fact that the girls couldn't eat after midnight. I wasn't too worried about Gracelin, but poor Bryn has been waking a lot in the nights lately - and I always have to nurse her back to sleep. And, wouldn't you know it - she woke up at 12:07. I decided that it was close enough to midnight, so I went in and nursed her a bit so she'd go back to sleep. She woke 2 more times after that (it was an especially bad night) and both times I just let her cry it out. We had to leave for the hospital at 6:45, and when I went in to wake her, I found that she had fallen asleep sitting up and holding her Hello Kitty doll.

So, we got the girls up and left for the hospital in our PJs (even mommy), and got there right on time at 7:30. My mom took the day off of work and met us there thinking we'd need the help. It took them about 30 minutes to call us back, and both girls were distracted enough that they didn't notice how hungry they should have been. When we finally got back to the room, they got the girls in their gowns and took vitals. They were both so sweet. Bryn was laughing at everyone, and she even held her arms out to the nurse to be held. G was just as sweet as ever.

They took Bryn back first. She was so happy and smiley - they said she giggled right up until the time when they put her to sleep. I went to wait in recovery for her while Ben and my mom waited with G. Her surgery only took a few minutes, and when they brought her back to me she was barely crying. She just wanted to nurse, so we sat and quietly cuddled for a few minutes. But, then the nurse came in to put drops in her ear. That really made her mad. She cried and cried and cried. For over an hour, until finally she just cried herself to sleep. Even as she slept, she kept whimpering and crying intermittantly. (As she laid there, I notied that she had 4 teeth coming in.) The doctor came in and told me that the tubes went great, but that afterwards she was still failing the hearing test. Poor girl.

Gracelin went second. Of course I wasn't there when she got taken back, but Ben said they put her into the bed and wheeled her away. She cried out for daddy as they took her away, and it was very sad. Her surgery was a bit more intensive, since she had her adenoids out. She had to be intubated and have an IV, and she was gone almost an hour. When they finally wheeled her out afterwards, she was barely crying. I was holding a finally sleeping Bryn, so she went with daddy. She was doing amazingly well, and just wanted the promised popsicle. She ate it quickly, and then told us that she was all better and ready to go home. Her arm was still in the IV though. It was all wrapped up in pink curlex, which had to be unwrapped and then the IV taken out of her hand. She watched intently the entire time, but never flinched. She did ask to take the curlex home to wrap her dollies in though. And she was very proud of the bandaid she got over the hole.

The doctor came back and told me that G's adenoids were very pussy and infected. She probably felt sick constantly from them. She also had a difficult time with the tubes. One of the ear drums was all scabby (it has ruptured twice in the past couple of months). The other ear drum had ripped, and had to be patched. She told me to expect a couple of miserable days with G.

Apparently G missed that memo. She has done amazingly well. By the time we got home, she was ravenous and ate an entire pancake with lots of hashbrowns. Then she took a 4 hour nap. When she woke up she was ravenous again, and ate a quesadilla dipped in spicy tomatillo and cilantro sauce. And a couple of hours later she asked to have Cincinnati Chili for dinner. Oh, and did I mention she didn't have any pain medication all day! Brynlee was a little bit cranky. She also took a couple of long naps, but seemed fine by bedtime.

Tomorrow is the big day

Yep - that's right. Tomorrow both of my babies will have surgery. Gracelin's been scheduled to have her tubes put back in and her adnoids removed. Actually, only one of the tubes has fallen out - the one in her right ear is still intact. But, the ENT thinks that she'll just put a second tube in that ear, because its likely it won't last too long. She's also removing G's adnoids, because she thinks they may be enlarged and blocking her ear canals. It is a bit of a worry since she'll have to be intubated and have an IV. So, there is a bit of a risk for surgery and recovery will be longer than just for tubes. But, if it means she's feeling better it will be worth it. I'm so tired of sick kids.

Poor Bryn's been sick forever (or so it seems). On Friday, the ENT decided that they could "squeeze her in" to an appointment next to G's and get tubes in her ears as well. She hasn't had as many infections as her older sister has, but we're thinking that with the history of our family's ears its better to just put them in. Bryn's surgery should be much simpler. She'll just be sedated wth gas, and the entire prodecure is only 10 minutes.

I'll be so glad to have my girls sick less often. G at least handles the antibiotic fairly well, but poor Bryn does not. Last week was hell. She was crabby from the ear infection. But, the antibiotic gives her diahrrea, which caused a terrible yeast infection/diaper rash. Oh, and did I mention she was teething on top of that? Um, yah. Tubes should be a piece-o-cake.

We've been trying to prepare Gracelin. I don't think she really understands. Her biggest concern is whether or not she gets a bandaid, sticker, or lollypop after the procedure. I told her she can have one of each.