I suck

I feel like I may be losing my mind. I have absolutely no short-term memory. I can remember my best friend’s phone number from kindergarten, but I can’t remember where I felt my keys. Its really frustrating too, because I used to be so on-top of things. Lately I feel like I can’t even keep track of the basics. I constantly forget where I put my keys and glasses. It frustrates Ben beyond belief because it seems every time we’re trying get out the door to go somewhere I’m frantically looking for my glasses, keys, or both. But, it really is way more than just that. Here are some of the other things I’ve forgotten recently:
*I take the time to pack a lunch for work, then forget it.
*I get the baby’s bottles all ready and then forget to take them.
*I actually remember to take my pump bag to work, but all the components are at home.
*I promise to call a friend back on the phone, and then never do
*I put in a load of laundry to wash, and never move it to the dryer. I realize a couple of days later when I can smell it rotting in the laundry room.

It gets worse though – at least those things are really just an annoyance. I pay all of my bills online. I’ve got everything set up for automatic payment. Because its so easy, I’ve gotten lazy and rarely even check to make sure they pay. Its really helpful for people like me who have no short-term memory. Well, its helpful as long as it works.

On Tuesday, Ben got home from work at about 5:05 pm. He went into the kitchen to make dinner, but discovered that we had no water!! He called me frantically to ask if I’d paid the water bill. At first I was very offended. Of course I paid the bill. I pride myself in the fact that my credit score is well over 700 (better than our finance guy’s actually). In fact I’ve never been late on a payment or bill – EVER (well, I never had anyway). I told him to call the City to see what the problem was, but of course it was just after 5pm and they were closed. So, I decided to do some checking. I went into our account on-line, and sure enough I hadn’t paid the water bill. Not last month, the month before, or the month before that either. Strangely, my auto bill pay had just stopped paying the water bill. I was mortified. I’m a responsible person. We work hard to stay out of debt and to pay bills on time. How did MY water get shut off? Of course I have the money to pay it too – that was the worst part.

Honestly, I can’t believe the City wouldn’t call first before coming to shut off the water. Not only would it have saved us a $75 re-hookup fee, it would have saved me the embarrassment of having to call my mom to ask if we could spend the night because our water got shut off. UGH. Talk about the most embarrassing call I’ve ever had to make.

So, we packed things up and headed over to my mom’s house. I was so grateful to have her there to help. I kept thinking about how desperate a person must be who is in a similar situation, but has no family to help. At least I know that if something bad ever really happens, I’ve got my parents there to help out. It was actually fun to spend the night there. My mom and I stayed up way too late chatting. And I woke up in the morning, called the city, and payed the bill over the phone. Our water was back on before Bryn’s morning nap.

I am starting to think though that maybe something is wrong with me, other than being sleep deprived and overly stressed. I’ve been having terrible, almost debilitating migraines. My vision is blurry, and I get migraine auras a lot. Bright lights are too much for me. I keep the blinds closed all the time, and wear sunglasses on cloudy days. I have to – too much bright light makes my migraines worse. Memory loss + headaches must be the symptoms of something bad right? Something more than stress and sleep deprivation?