Yesterday I was on my laptop, casually looking at houses for sale in a particular area where I’ve found a job posting. Gracelin came over to sit on my lap and to see what I was looking at. She sat with me and watched the slideshow for a house for sale, that just so happened to have a very cute, pink girls’ bedroom. She commented to me that she’d like to live there, and then she added, “I want to move far away to somewhere that I don’t have to go to daycare anymore”.
So often G doesn't want to go. She will beg me in the mornings to be able to stay at home with me, or to come to work. It is so hard for me to convince her to go, when I really don't want to have to take her there.
Its been a rough few days with daycare for all of us. On Thursday when I picked up the girls, it was really bad. I got G first, and her shoes and coat were no where to be found. She and I searched the center for a good 5 minutes before one of the high school girls who are there in the afternoon commented that she may have left her stuff out on the playground. I had G wait inside while I ran outside. And there was her coat and shoes on the playground, her socks no where to be found (did I mention that it was freezing cold outside?)
Then, we headed upstairs to the baby room to pick up Brynlee. She was standing at the gate looking very sad. As soon as she saw me, she started to cry. She told me “owie bum. Change me”. I picked her up and could immediately tell that she was poopie. I took her over to the changing table, and took off her diaper - only to notice that she had the most horrible diaper rash. She screamed as I changed her – it hurt so badly that she was physically shaking from the pain as I wiped her. It broke my heart to have to hurt her like that, but I had to clean her up. It was awful.
I left that place really upset that my kids aren’t being taken care of better. Is it too much to ask that they have their coats and shoes on outside? Its November, and really cold. And I hate to think how long poor Bryn was sitting in that dirty diaper. Obviously she is able to communicate that she wants a diaper change. I feel that it is negligence that her diaper rash was that bad.
I feel as if I’m literally at the breaking point. Something has got to change, but no matter how much sleep I lose at night, I cannot figure out what we’re going to do. Short of me getting a higher paying job out of state so that daddy can stay at home with the girls. I have applied for a couple of jobs so far, and plan to apply for one more that I found yesterday. All of the jobs really are a stretch for me though, and I'll be suprised if I actually get an interview. It would be sad to leave our extended family and friends. But I really feel that its for the good of our kids.