I got pulled aside today by a coworker saying that she "needs to talk about a few things." For the past couple of weeks, she's been completely ignoring me, so I knew something was wrong. Apparently, I've said some things to her that have made her feel badly. I've hurt her. I've made her feel inferior. I've blamed her every time something has gone wrong. She had several specific converstations that she cited - some of them going back months. I only even remember one instance that she recalled (and in that instance, she made the mistake but I took credit for it in a public meeting). Never once do I ever remember thinking anything negative about her. I've honestly never intended to be rude or mean - but apparently I have been. I guess I'm just an insensitive bitch.
For some reason, this whole instance reminded me of something that happened about 15 years ago. I had a boyfriend that I was really digging. One day, he pulled my sister aside to confide in her that sometimes I said really mean things to him, and he wanted to know what she thought he should do. Her response to him was that I'm "just like that." Needless to say, that relationship didn't make it much further.
Up until that point, I don't remember ever being mean to him either - I actually really liked him and was crushed when he dumped me. (I'm pretty sure that screaming "get the hell out of my apartment you freakin' jerk" after the break-up was offensive - but before that point I wasn't even sure that the problem was). I know that I've never intended to hurt either one of these peoples' feelings. But now I'm worried that I've spent my life offending just about every single person around me - all without me ever knowing and/or intending it.
What do you think (especially those of you who know me in real life)? Have I ever been rude to you? You can post anonymously if you want, but please let me know.