Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Confessions of a sugar addict

So, I stepped on the scale yesterday. I'd been avoiding it for weeks. Ever since the end of the last Biggest Loser contest, I've been "lax" about my eating - and by lax I mean that I've justified consuming copious amounts of sugar every single day. I still eat generally healthy because I do prefer healthy foods overall (other than my diet coke addiction), but sugar is my nemesis. On Friday, the girls and I made yummy chocolate chunk cashew butter cookies. They were decadent, and I ate almost the entire batch myself in three days. I'm not proud of it - but its done. I can only move forward . . .

But it did lead me to step on the scale, thinking that maybe knowledge of how much I've actually gained in the past few weeks would snap me back into reality. I was shocked to see that I've gained back 5 pounds. 5 pounds, that I'd fought to lose over the previous months. It definitely shocked me into reality, and I realized that something has to be done.

Something has happened to me. I've lost all discipline and self-control, and somehow I need to get it back. Because of my sore foot, I've gone from averaging 25 miles per week of running to averaging about 6 miles per week all last month. But I've also stopped caring about what I eat. It isn't a good combination.

My foot is feeling a bit better, and I've signed up for a 5k on Saturday to test it. Assuming it is feeling good, I'm going to register for the Las Vegas 1/2 marathon in December (Kari - are you still running that??) I'm also thinking that I should stop thinking of doing a triathlon, and actually sign up for one. The cross training would do wonders for helping my foot to heal.

I also need to get my diet back on track. I'm realistic enough to know that if I try to change everything all at once, I'm going to fail miserably. So, I'm going to try to change one thing at a time. I don't know if anyone remembers reading my blog a couple of years ago when I was doing the 21 day goals? Basically, it relies on the assumption that if you can do something consistently for 21 days, it will become a habit. Instead of going back to my normally restrictive way of eating, I'm going to change one bad habit at a time. Once I go 21 straight days of change, I'll add something else.

Today is day 1 of no sugar! And I'm not gonna lie: its been HELL. I'm craving something sweet. I'm on my 3rd diet coke, and its doing nothing to squelch the craving. I've got a headache. I can't see straight. I think I'm getting the shakes . . . (ok - I may be getting a bit dramatic, but not much) I know from past experience that the first week will be the hardest, but if I can make it until the weekend, I'll be ok (until my birthday next month - that will be a difficult one).

But, I'm posting it here for all of cyberspace to see to keep my honest. If any of you happen to see me around, don't hesitate to ask me how I'm doing. And if you catch me with a cookie-in-hand, tell me to put it down before anyone gets hurt.

And even though I'm not doing biggest loser this time around, I'm still going to do weekly Friday weigh-ins to keep me honest.

PS - I had so much fun hearing from some of my blurkers. I was suprised to see how many came from TLOL - it was such a great community "back in the day." I was also suprised to have some local blurkers (one even in the same city where I work.) Perhaps we should plan a blogger dinner where we could meet up or something . . . just a thought.


carrie said...

Christie....I feel your pain. :o) (the headaches) When I quit drinking caffeine last week it about killed me. I thought I had the flu of some sort...and I probably did....but the majority of it was from the absense of my favorite drink!! :o) Once it's out of my system, I'm fine... It's just getting past those first few days. It's funny you mentioned the 21 day thing. Jason was JUST saying that to me last night. :o) I feel like such a champ and it's only been 9 days!! (I'm a nerd...I know) Good luck this week. I'll be sending positive vibes your way....ha ha

Kristina said...

I have actually been thinking the same things... I had a REALLY stressful project and in order to deal with the stress I (over)indulged in chocolate and coke. Not good... so I decided this morning no more. I love chocolate, but I can NOT keep going with eating it day in and day out. I get in these self-indulgent moods where I just don't care about the decisions I'm making - it feels good at the time, so why not. But it's definitely taking it's toll and it's time it stopped. So. No more sugary treats. 3 weeks - no treats. Period.

So I'll be right there with you since it's not like the stressful work has gone away and I've been downing sugar like crazy. So, we're done. Good luck to us both!!

The Gatherum Family said...

Oh I am so there with you. I once gave sugar up for a year. ONE year. I was in high school and it really was so hard for me to do, but once I did it, I remember feeling so great and having a lot more energy. I don't know what happened to make me start eating it again but I did and now I don't think I could do it if Itried. I should try though...anyways, good luck with your goals. We just signed up to run the Wasatch Back. Have you heard of it? Have you ever ran it?

Julia said...

Giving up sugar is just something I can barely stand to do! In college (and even in the years since) I've done "Lent" type things where I give up eating out, coke, meat etc. But I've never done chocolate or sugar just because I'm sure I would fail.

I'm sorry about your sore foot though. There is nothing that makes me want to pack in the sugar more than having an excuse not to work out...esp when that is a real excuse.

You should totally do a blogger dinner. I'd do it but I'm anti-social, have no friends and have 2 too many dogs to make it enjoyable. but I'd totally be there!

Good luck with your 21 days! I'll think of something to do too...just not sugar!

Ruhiyyih Rose said...

Sorry about your sore foot! I have the SAME thing right now, it just came on after my 16 miler on Sunday. Feels like I am pressing on a bruise, on the top of it. So annoying...I am slated to do an 18 miler this Saturday and a 20 miler on Oct 11th. AHH!!

The sugar thing is a toughie. It is in everything, isn't it? I ate almost all raw foods for two months and that was killer but I was amazed by how it made me feel. Hang in there...one day at a time, for sure! :)

Tiburon said...

Feel free to send me your weigh ins if that keeps you on track. Like the good ol days ;)

Mindi said...

i hate the fact that it only takes a little while of "not watching" for it to creep back on. this has been the pattern i've followed my whole life. you think i would have learned by now. but OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOOO!

good luck, christie! fight the good fight for us all!

Chelsea said...

I'm a sugar addict too. It's by far the hardest part of dieting for me. I have no problem avoiding chips, fries, fast food, etc, but put a plate of brownies in front of me and watch out! You're right, if you can get through the first week it gets a lot easier. Hang in there!

Lynita said...

Oh man do I feel your pain. I loooove sugar, especially in the form of chocolate. I know if I gave it up I would have headaches and be shaking too! I think you are normal, because you admit the problem and are trying to correct it. I will probably be leaning on you when I start trying to lose the baby weight in December. I love the 21 days thing! I know that you'll reach your goals, one mini goal at a time!

Anonymous said...

Life without sugar is a life not worth living. I don't know how you do it. Good luck!

Omgirl said...

I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS POST MYSELF. Seriously. the 5 lbs? Same. The sugar addiction? Same. The abslute release of dietary restrictions + no more working out? Same. Went on my new diet monday. How am I doing? HELL. Same, same, same! We should get together and be miserable and talk about how much we miss sugar. LIke AA but for sugar. SA, sugarholics anonymous.