Monday, August 06, 2007

Making friends

I was invited to a baby shower for my neighbor. The shower was mid-morning on Saturday at house just 4 doors down from mine. Gracelin was so excited to go to the shower - I think she thought a baby would be there. She even wanted to go to the store with me and pick out a gift.

So, the girls and I headed to the shower. I recognized most of the women there, as they were all from the neighborhood. But, I barely knew any of their names. I found a chair and sat down while the girls went to play with the other kids there. I tried striking a conversation up with the lady sitting next to me, but she was very unfriendly. So, I sat there and talked to no one. I was feeling very uncomfortable sitting by myself, so I got up and walked over to the refreshments. I tried to strike up a conversation with another lady standing by the punch bowl. I said to her, "I don't think I've met you before. What is your name?" She did tell me her name, but then walked away. I felt like I was being snubbed.

I didn't stay much longer. I waited for my neighbor to open her gift, and then I gathered up my kids to leave. As I was headed out the door, another neighbor in our same cul-de-sac asked if G wanted to go over and play with her daughter. They have played together a few times before, and G loves her. At least there was one kind person there who left me with a renewed hope that not everyone in my neighborhood is a total bee-otch.

We've lived in our house for about a year and a half. Most of my neighbors also go to my same church, so there have been ample opportunities for me to get to know them. But I really feel like some sort of outcast. I'm not sure if I really am being snubbed for some reason, or if I'm just reading into things that aren't there.

I know that I haven't been the friendliest person. I'm the only mom who works outside of the home, and I know that makes it difficult. They have play dates during the week, and obviously I cannot go to those. And by the time we get home from work/daycare the girls are starving, as its after 6 pm. So, we eat, bath and put the kids into bed (they get up at 6am, so we have an early bedtime). There really isn't time for us to go out and play during the week. And while I'm not shy, I'm really not outgoing either. It usually takes me a while to really open up to people. Perhaps my quiet demeanor is taken for snobbery?

The baby shower isn't the only instance where I've felt snubbed - there are so many instances. For example, 3 other women on my cul-de-sac are runners - I've seen them out running and they've seen me. I have even asked them if they wanted another running partner, and they won't take me up on it.

I've never had a difficult time making friends an any other aspect of my life. Even back to high school. Growing up I was never one of the most "popular" kids, but I always had a good group of friends and was very social. In college, I had many good friends and dated frequently. As a married woman, I still have lots of friends that I've met in my old neighborhoods, church, work, and even the internet.

I just don't know what it is about my particular neighborhood right now. It is bad enough that I have considered moving. We're not moving, but I'd love to find a way to make some friends in my neighborhood.

1 comment:

Tiburon said...

Someone recently told me that it takes 5 years to "fit in" to a new ward. I have to agree. I am just NOW starting to feel a part of my ward and we have been here for almost 3 years!

You are good enough, smart enough and doggone it - people like you! If they can't see that then they are the ones missing out. I am sure they will see it soon enough and a year from now you will be chatting about all your ward buddies :)