Monday, December 20, 2004

My little girl

Gracelin had a difficult time going to sleep tonight. Usually when I put her into bed, she either goes right to sleep for fusses herself to sleep. Rarely does it take her longer than 5 minutes to sleep. Tonight, however, she screamed when I layed her down. I let her stay for a few minutes, but she was completely hysterical. I know that I should just let her cry it out, but I figured between the fact that she has been sick and she started a new day care today, she probably needed a little extra TLC. So, I went in, picked her up, and rocked her. SHe just melted in my arms. For awhile she just laid there and watched me - I think she was happy to have mommy holding her. Eventually she fell asleep, and I held her for the longest time. I never rock her to sleep - and she never sleeps in my arms. It felt so good to hold her. It didn't matter that I had one million other things that needed doing (Christmas cards, wrapping presents, working out, making bottles for day care, etc) - all I wanted to do was hold her. I laid my face down next to hers and felt her breath on my cheek. All my emotions welled up inside me, and I realized that nothing else that I had to do really mattered. I loved her so much that I cried. For the longest time I just held her, and rocked her, and cried. It felt amazingly good.

Eventually the cat came into the room. Since Gracie came home from the hospital the cat has stayed clear of her. But tonight, her curiousity got the best of her. She sat on the bed and contemplated the jump from the edge of the bed into the crib. After much deliberation, she did it. I decided that I needed to get the cat out of the crib before she got too comfortable. So, I finally put Gracelin to bed and took kitty with me.

But now, I have no motivation to do my other things. Christmas cards will wait for another day.

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