Something has happened to my Christmas spirit. It is missing, but I must admit that I haven't been looking very hard for it. I know that I should be trying to make Christmas the most magical time for Gracelin, but I just don't have the energy. I have done some shopping, but since money is tight this year, our purchases are minimal. I decided that I will not decorate my house at all. My basement storage room is full of Christmas decorations. Ben's family owns a craft store and they make their own nutcrackers. I have probably 100 nutcrackers in my basement - and they are going to stay in their boxes for another year. I also decided that I wanted a custom decorated tree a couple of years ago. So, I handpainted dozens of wooden ornaments. They are in their boxes too. Ben worked in college putting up Christmas lights, and is a semi-pro at it. But, he got out of having to do it this year. There will be no lights up at our house. Nor will there be wreaths, garlands, or snowflakes.
The one thing I have been doing is listening to Christmas music. I love Christmas music. I have pulled out my CDs and have them in my car and at work. I also sing in the church choir, and we are performing the Sunday before Chrismas at church - I'm even performing in a special number that day.
Between my semi-depressed state and incredible fatigue, I'm just lucky to get the stuff done that I HAVE to do every day. I don't have time for anything extra. Maybe next year.