what we did today

My mom and I took the girls to the circus this afternoon. On the way there, we passed the mall. Gracelin piped up: "Grandma", she said, "thats the mall right there. Whenever we go there, my daddy gets really grumpy." LOL It was one of those priceless moments. She's hilarious. We've only ever been to the mall with daddy once, and I don't even remember him being especially grumpy. Anyway . . . the circus was a blast. Both girls were completely enthralled. Personally, I'm a little too "greenpeacy" to really like watching the performing animals, and all the acrobatic stuff makes me sick because I'm so afraid of heights. But it was so worth it to see the looks on my kids' faces. Even Bryn was squealing in delight.

7 months old

Actually, yesterday was Bryn's 7 month birthday, but I couldn't get the photo upload to work. And I couldn't post about her birthday without a picture of my pretty girl. And she is so pretty. I just cannot get enough of her. She is the most huggable, lovable girl ever. I swear she gives bear hugs and kisses already - she squeezes with her arms and burries her head in my shoulder, then she'll come at me with her wet and open mouth for a sloppy kiss. She is so much fun. Everything makes her smile and laugh - its like the world is one big joke to her. Even people in stores come up and comment to me about how happy she seems.

Yesterday when I picked her up from daycare, Miss J was all excited to tell me the Bryn PULLED UP! She's not even crawling yet (although she's so close) but she can pull up. Being the type of mommy who won't say my kids have completed a milestone until I've seen it myself, I went on my way with a smile. But then this morning, Ben saw her pull up. So, I suppose there is no more denying it. Time to lower the crib.

Bryn continues to be a big girl. Last week she had an ear infection, and weighed 18.5 pounds. I pulled out all of her sister's old winter stuff, and what she fits now is what G wore when she was walking. Its funny to me, because it makes Bryn seem older than she really is.

Physically she's developing quickly. She can get on all 4s and rock back and forth. I've seen her move 2 crawl steps before she falls on her belly, but she can somehow scoot to where she needs to be. My doctor said that crawling isn't considered a milestone anymore; they look for the ability to move to an object out of reach, which she clearly can do. She's got excellent hand/eye coordination. Its fun to watch her in the bath as she tries to pick up floating toys. She's gotten really fast. And she's so handsy - I have to be careful because her lightning fast hands pick up the wrong stuff all of the time. She also wants to feed herself. During meal time, I put her in her highchair with some finger foods and she goes nuts. And the second something runs out, she's screaming at me for more. (and she's got a really loud scream).

Verbally she seems a bit behind (but of course I'm comparing her to her older sister, the linguistic genius who spoke her first sentence, "bye daddy" at 9 months old). She does try and copy me though, so I know she's trying. She makes several consonant sounds, and is learning to make sounds with her tongue. She does know and respond to her name, and if her sister laughs she'll laugh back.

I love watching her personality develop. She has the sweetest disposition and is the most loving baby. She loves to cuddle (and so does mommy). And she is so smiley and bright-eyed. She gets excited at the slighest thing - especially Mommy. When she thinks I'm coming to pick her up, she squeals, laughs, and flails her arms and legs. At that point I'd better pick her up, or she gets mad.

Her schedule is great right now. She sleeps solidly 12-13 hours at night, with the occasional night waking for a feed (which I don't mind the one-on-one cuddle time). Usually she takes 3 naps, that are anywhere from 45 minutes - 2 hours long. While her schedule may not be totally predictible as far as daytime nap schedule, her cues are easy to read.

I love my Boo so much, and I cannot imagine life without her.

I love my husband

In all fairness to him, after that really awful post about him a few weeks ago, I had better let the "cyber community" know what a good man he is. Things had escallated last week, and got pretty ugly between us. Then something bad happened: we got a call that my brother was in a coma and the doctors didn't know if he was going to wake up. That was sort of a "wake up call" for Ben and I. I kept thinking what if something happened, and I was left feeling that my last words to my husband had been ugly.

So, we had a long talk on Thursday. A really long talk. At the end of it all, my head hurt but I couldn't sleep. I was worried things were going to get worse after that. But, they've been so wonderful ever since. Ben has been trying so hard, and so have I.

On Sunday at church, the speaker talked about why parents love their children: its because they are constantly serving them. Out of service comes love. Although we didn't discuss it with each other, both Ben and I have been trying to apply that same principle to our marriage.

Yesterday I came home from work to find a yummy dinner prepared. Ben had gotten the recipe to my favorite dressing from Cafe Rio, and he made delicious taco salads. Even Gracelin scarfed hers up. Then, he helped get everything cleaned up. After the kids were in bed and the house straightened, he made the effort to try some foreplay (instead of his typical "hey baby lets go in the bedroom and get it on"). We had lots of kinky fun in the bedroom. It was a great day.

I am blessed to have a husband that loves me and wants me to be happy. I don't think most men would try as hard as he does, and I'm grateful.

My big little girl

Gracelin's growing up so quickly. The other day I blinked, and she somehow became a little girl in the place of my little baby. She is so full of life. I simply cannot get enough of her.

Her favorite things include:

• her little sister - Gracelin loves Bryn to death . . . literally. Lately she's into "fluffing" her and giving her "squeezers" - which are basically tight hugs where the poor baby appears to be smothered.
• her buddy - aka Daddy - G loves her daddy so much.
• swimming - the other day, G sadly proclaimed that "thy put the lid on the pool". I had to explain that the pool would reopen again next summer, and she was almost in tears. Swimming with Buddy is definitely her most cherished passtime. She got really brave this summer too. She'll jump off the side of the pool and go completely under the water without even plugging her nose. Of course, Buddy is right there to catch her.
• spicy foods - this little girl wouldn't eat a piece of fruit or veggie to save her life, but she's been caught drinking salsa straight from the bowl on more than one occasion. I don't worry much. At least she's getting some veggies. She also loves chili, tacos, and lasagne. She's a strange one
• jumping - I don't think she walks anywhere. Her little calves and thighs are getting muscle definition in them from the constant workout.
• books - G loves to read, and has many of her favorites completely memorized. She can sit and "read" a book to herself and she gets most of the words right. She's also starting to recognize many of the letters, and is fascinated by me telling her what they are and what sounds they make. I'm convinced she'll be a genius some day as a result.
• music - she loves to sing and be sung too. She's got so many songs memorized. One of her favorite thigs to do, is replace the words so she can sing about a specific item and/or person.
• nurturing - lately she will ask me to pretend to cry or be sad so she can comfort me. She'll hug me, kiss me, pat me, and tell me it will all be ok. I secretly love this. She's also incredibly nurturing to her baby dolls - and everything is a baby (even the shampoo bottle wrapped in a washcloth)

I am so blessed to have such a special little girl. I love her so much.

Sometimes I don't like my husband very much

Today was one of those days. Mornings are always a rush. We wake the girls at 6, and have to be out the door about 6:25 to be on time for everything. So that means, we have to wake them, dress them, and feed them in a short time. As anyone can imagine, it takes careful coordination to make things run smoothly. And one little glitch can throw off the carefully-planned routine.

This morning, however, Brynlee woke at 5am to feed and went back to sleep. Since I knew she wouldn't be hungry again at 6am, I thought I had a few minutes to spare. But then Gracelin woke up grumpy, and wanted me to help her instead of Daddy. Fine. I had a few extra minutes to spare, right? Well, instead of continuing on with things, my hubby sat down in the computer chair and did absolutely nothing to help me. So, I figured since he had some spare time, he could help by bringing a new roll of TP into the girls' bathroom and by giving the baby her medicine. But instead of helping me out, he told me that he had to leave for work in 3 minutes or would be late (first I've ever heard of this. I'm always out the door before him). Then he told me that he was tired of me "bossing him around". WTF? Is this man 29 or 9? As if me asking him to get off of his fat duff and help out was "bossing him around".

I didn't talk to him most of the day. Usually we talk 2-3 time throughout the day, but today I didn't call him at all. Finally around 2pm-ish he called me and acted like nothing ever happened. But I was still pissed and let him know. He had the gall to acuse me of things and to laugh at me. I hung up on him.

I know it sounds childish, but sometimes he is so unreasonable. I just get sick of him. Sometimes I think I'd be happier on my own. I've spent all day really depressed and longing for some way to make myself feel better. I drove around on my lunch break trying to decide where to go buy a giant oreo/caramel shake to blow the hell out of my diet. I ended up with a box of low fat granola bars and settled for one. At least they had chocolate in them.

He'll probably come home tonight, all apologetic and really nice to try and make me feel guilty. Or, he'll be really pissed off at me and won't even talk. Either way, he'll probably think we need to fix things in the bedroom. UGH. Thats the LAST thing I want to do with this man.

I feel sorry too, because it affects the kids. Gracelin kept asking me what was wrong this morning. She's very perceptive, and it bothers her when there is contention in the house. We're probably causing irreversable damage to her growth and development.

Can you die from being tired?

I love my girls, but they’re going to be the death of me. If a person can die of fatigue that is. Just this weekend, Ben and I were reminiscing about the “good old days” when we could sleep until noon. Now, I’m grateful to stay in bed until 7am. To make matters worse, Bryn has been sleeping like crap. Last night she was awake 5 times in the night. I can’t figure it out – she’s been sleeping through the night for 4 months now. This is worse than when she was newborn.

I love her though. She’s so physical. This morning she crawled 2 “steps”. I’m pretty sure within a week or 2 she’s going to be all over the house. She loves to squeal and rock back and forth – and she’s big and really strong. She also loves people, and is a social butterfly. Yesterday we had people over for dinner, and she wanted to sit in her highchair up to the table so she could be a part of it all. We were at the zoo yesterday too, and she learned to clap while we were at the bird show. She also loves food and food and more food. She didn’t get to be 18 pounds by accident. Even that yucky rice cereal will elicit such squeals of delight and foot kicking that it makes the whole family laugh.

Bryn and her sister already have such a bond. No one can make her laugh like Gracelin does. Sunday night G was playing peek-a-boo with Bryn, and she was laughing so hard she got the hiccoughs. She thinks her sister is hilarious. In fact, all we have to do is tell G to make her sister laugh – and she simply says “ha ha” and Bryn will giggle.

It just seems like she’s growing up really fast (much faster than her sister did), and while I’m excited to think that maybe sometime in the next 3 or 4 years I’ll actually get caught up on my sleep, I’m already missing my little baby.

What girl doesn't want to marry a doctor?

I think Gracelin is in love with her pediatrician. She talks about him all of the time. She also pretends to be sick. When I ask her what is wrong, she will tell me that she needs the doctor to fix her. Sometimes I worry that it is getting out of hand. On more than one occasion, she has pretended to throw up into the potty to prove how sick she is. I don’t think she really is sick – she never has a fever or anything. I just think its because she loves her doctor. LOL He is pretty cute.

She is such a funny girl. She’s outgoing and brave. Lately she’s obsessed with swimming. Her daddy takes her almost every night, and she L-O-V-E-S it! The other day, she saw some older kids diving, and she asked her daddy if she could try it. She’ll stand at the edge of the pool, put her hands over her head, and kind of flop into the water. She goes completely under, and doesn’t even need to plug her nose. Of course her daddy is right there to catch her though. I really need to get her into swimming lessons, but at this age all I can find are mommy and me classes. I think she’s too old for that, so I’ll probably have to wait until she’s 3.