Sunday, April 19, 2009

Work in progress

Lately I've been working on being more positive with my kids. I'm not necessarily negative, but I am a perfectionist. And I tend to demand perfection from my kids as well. I also want them to grow up as confident individuals, so I've been making a concerted effort to note the positives in all they do, so they don't grow up thinking that they cannot please me.

For example, the other day I asked Bryn to feed the cat - a relatively simple chore for a 3 year old, and one that I ask her to do often. Well, on this particular day, she figured that if she fed the cat a lot, she would need to do it less often. So, I walked into the mud room and saw this:

(I'm not sure why she included a dryer sheet) My initial reaction was to scold her for dumping an entire bag of cat food into the dish. But (remembering my goal to notice the positives) I told her what a great job she did. She had definitely fed the cat as I had asked her to do. I did remind her that next time, maybe we should try to only give the cat what can fit in the bowl. I think her strategy worked - it was a week ago, and the cat hasn't needed food since.

I've also been trying to teach G to wipe herself after going #2. She's going to be in kindergarten in the fall, and its time she learned to take care of things herself (besides, it is also my goal to only have one bum to be in charge of). Yesterday, I was in the yard doing some spring cleaning outside, when she sheepishly came to me asking for help. She had attempted to wipe herself, only had been a bit too concerned with getting herself clean: she had used the entire roll of toilet paper, and clogged the toilet.

Again, wanting to be upset with her for making such a mess, I instead thanked her for taking care of herself. I then told her that perhaps next time she could try and use a bit less paper. (I decided not to use that pic - you'll just have to use your imagination)

11 comments:

Brenda said...

So, did you run the Salt Lake Marathon?

Christie said...

Nope - no marathon this year. I had pneumonia in February, and I'm just now getting back to feeling like I can breathe when I run. I felt sad missing it - my brother and his girl friend ran it (and she came in 3rd in her division). Maybe next year.

Koreena said...

That's great. It's hard for me, too, to let my kids be messy, but I'm trying to harder to let them have their childhood while they can.

Kristine said...

Wow, way to go Christie! You've inspired me today!

carrie said...

K...I'm laughing again. You're so funny. I'm glad you spared us the second picture. ha ha We go through that in our house, too....believe me! :o) The positive thing is hard sometimes, huh?? I've been trying that, too....especially after I completely lost it when Bo dumped the Clorox everywhere. :o) It makes for a MUCH happier home, that's for sure! Isn't this weather fabulous today?? I wish it would have been like this last week while my kids were home on Spring Break!

Ruhiyyih Rose said...

Oh that is adorable. Yes, your cat should be set for awhile :)

Way to set the goals with the kiddos and be so encouraging too. :)

Julia said...

I'll take a lesson from you. I just (to use jeff's phrasing) harp on everyone. and i hate that word...harp....i mean who harps mre around here???

I would LOVe to get to the point of my bum being THE bum. sadly...it's a long line (no pic included here either)....:)

Lynita said...

I think every mom struggles with this, especially me I am a control freak! Kaitlyn clogged the toilet just the other day, and instead of yelling at her I thanked her for letting me know before it overflowed. Practice makes perfect, or in this case practice takes patience! By the way I love the new pic of Bryn with the bow on her head, such a beauty just like G.

Cadance said...

that is funny!

Chelsea said...

I can soooo relate to this post, and it's something I need to be reminded of! I'm trying to let Sawyer help out more and do more things for himself, but so often it's much easier to just do it myself than to deal with the mess later. I need to get over that!

Omgirl said...

That's a really good idea. I find that I'm sometimes demanding of my kids too and expect them to be neat and clean and perfect, instead of TWO and THREE YEARS OLD! so it's a good reminder to me that I need to work on letting them be kids and recognizing them for the good that they do.