Every year I make New Years resolutions. Usually, they entail different things I want to accomplish: be a better wife and mother, a better housekeeper, a better person. But there is also always one common theme: weight loss. Every year I resolve to lose weight, which I always manage to do. Somehow though, I always end up gaining it back, to where I sometimes have more to lose than I did the year before.
This past year, I had actually done well with my weight loss. I was down a full size, and gave away most of my bigger sized clothes. Then I hurt my foot in August - it was the beginning of a downward spiral that led to a 15-ish pound weight gain (it may be more, but I've avoided the scale). I stopped exercising to let my foot heal, and I started following the "How to get fat in 3 delicious steps (HTGFI3DS)" meal plan. What is the HTGFI3DS you may ask? Well it really is simple:
How to get fat in 3 delicious steps meal plan:
1. Convince yourself that all food consumed from a child's plate has absolutely no calories. We all hate to waste uneaten food from a child's plate. With this meal plan its ok to devour anything your picky child leaves behind - because that food contains no calories. So eat up!
2. Indulge in as many Christmas goodies as your stomach will allow. We all know that Christmas comes only once a year. Why deprive yourself? Christmas goodies are delicious, and since you won't see them again for a year, it is important to eat enough to last you those long 11 months.
3. Chocolate is the best stress reliever. Let's face it - life can get hectic and stressful. What better way to make things seem ok than to sink your teeth into a nice piece of chocolate. Toblerone are the best! Best results if eaten early in the morning or right before bed.
By following this meal plan, your are guaranteed to pack on at least 10 pounds - maybe more. It worked for me! I'm a freakin' real-life testimonial.
I know I'm making light of it, but it really isn't funny. I'm feeling fat and disgusting to the point where I don't even want to go out and be social. Something has to be done. So, this year, I am making just one resolution: to lose the weight and keep it off.
Here's what I'm going to do:
Operation lose the fat and keep it off:
1. Join Tiburon's Biggest Loser Competition. Having to mail pictures of me in my underwear and tell her how much I actually weight keeps me honest. I know that I won't win, but I at least have to be accountable. Humiliation plus the added bonus of a cash prize is hopefully the motivation I need.
2. Find a race to train for. I do like running, but I run with a purpose (ie. further, faster, longer) when I have a reason. This summer, I plan to run the Wasatch Back Relay. In fact, I just turned my money in yesterday and I'm excited. Its a relay race from Logan to Park City - it spans 2 days, and each racer will have the chance to run 3 legs of the race. The course goes over mountain passes and through valleys. It should be so much fun. I'm also thinking that I'll put into the St George lottery again this year too, just because.
3. Revamp my diet. I have recently been diagnosed with some food allergies, and trying to figure out what to eat has been a challenge (I think I've used that as an excuse as well). I've actually been considering starting a second blog tracking my diet along with daily symptoms to track what I can eat. I do plan to completely eliminate sugars from my diet (detox starts Friday) and caffeine as well. Hopefully I can find something that I CAN eat :)....
4. If all else fails, I'm going to try public humiliation: posting my daily weight on my blog. If y'all know how fat I am, it will be serious motivation. But I don't know if I'm that desperate yet.
Wish me luck!