Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The 20 best albums of all time

Yahoo homepage had a article this morning on the 20 best albums of all time, and I'll have to admit that I agree with very few of them. Of course, he based a lot of it on sales and long-term popularity - but still - some of them are awful. Tell me what you think:

#20: Faith - George Michael
(I wholeheartedly do NOT agree with this. There are a couple of good songs, but overall its not good).

#19: Appetite for Destruction - Guns N' Roses
(This is actually one of my favorite albums from the 80s. I love me hair-band rock. I may actually agree with this one.)

#18: Purple Rain - Prince
(I actually liked this album "back in the day", but its been so long since I listened to it, that I don't know if I have an opinion.)

#17: Houses of the Holy - Led Zeppelin
(No comment on this one - the only Led Zeppelin song I even know is Stairway to Heaven. I've heard others, but they all song so much alike that I've never "gotten it".)

#16: Born in the U.S.A. - Bruce Springsteen
(Seriously? This one puzzles me)

#15: Nevermind - Nirvana
(One of the best albums ever. Besides being great music, there is so much nostalgia for me. It just takes me back to freshman year of college - one of the best times of my life. I also recently read that that baby on the cover is now a teenager. Makes me feel old.)

#14: Van Halen - Van Halen
(Despite my love of 80s hair bands, I don't know this album either)

#13: Rumours - Fleetwood Mac
(I can say I like some of these songs, but I was only 3 when the album came out, so I think I missed it.)

#12: The Wall - Pink Floyd
(Although I listened to this album with friends to "be cool" - its not one of my favs.)

#11: The Joshua Tree - U2
(I'm not the biggest U2 fan, but I will admit to loving this album)

#10: Metallica - Metallica
(Ok - maybe I don't like 80s hair bands as much as I thought. Not my fav either)

#9: Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin
(See my previous Led Zeppelin comment)

#8: Hotel California - Eagles
(LOVE me some Eagles!)

#7: The White Album - The Beatles
(Never got the Beatles either. Definitely not my favorite)

#6: Led Zeppelin IV - Led Zeppelin
(Seriously - there are other bands. Enough with Led Zeppelin)

#5: Abbey Road - The Beatles
(See comment to #7)

#4: Physical Graffiti - Led Zeppelin
(I decline to comment)

#3: Thriller - Michael Jackson
(LOVE this album. I think I wore the lines off of the record. And I think I could still sing the words to every single song. Although I'm no longer an MJ fan, this album was a key part of my childhood.)

#2: Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd
(Was this the album that goes with The Wizard of OZ?)

#1: Songs in the Key of Life - Stevie Wonder
(Ewwww - that formula is flawed. Stevie is NOT the best ever)

Overall, I do not agree with this list. Maybe I should come up with a short list of my own (notice none of them are new - guess I've grown up):

Del Amitri - Twisted
(I know this band is a little obscure, but they're really good)

Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fear or Dulcinea
(I can't decide which album is better. I like every single song on both albums.)

REM - Green
(The soundtrack to my teenage years)

Indigo Girls - Rites of Passage
(Every single song on this album is great. It has been known to be left in my CD player for weeks on end.)

Dave Mathews Band - Crash
(Seriously. Good. Music.)

Third Eye Blind - Third Eye Blind
(I think this is the only album they ever did, but its really good. Check it out sometime.)

Live - Throwing Copper
(I could listen all day long)

Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
(In high school, my best friend had this tape in her car constantly. I went out and bought the CD - it was the first one I ever actually bought - and I'm so glad I did. Every song is brilliant. Tori never quite did it again sadly.)

Sarah McLaughlin - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
(Another one that I could listen to over and over and over again and never get tired of. Every single song. Definitely my favorite album of all time)

Now I'm off to pop in one of my old CDs.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The barfs

In the continuing tradition of gross-out stories, here's another one:

Growing up in Kentucky, my family belonged to a swim club. It really wasn't as exclusive as it sounds, but there were no public pools in the area. So if we wanted to take swim lessons and have a place to swim, it was either the swim club or the YMCA. So, we opted for the swim club. We pretty much spent every single day at the pool, and occasionally would take friends. Since our friends weren't members, we would have to sign them in at the front desk. Then with all the technology of 1986, they would call the teenager at the back to let him know the name of our guest. We'd walk around to the back, and by the time we got there, the guests' names would be on the log.

On one particular day, my sister took her friend who we shall call Suzie Barth. (The Suzie is obviously made up, but Barth was her real last name.) We signed her in at the front, and walked around back. The boy at the desk asked her what her last name was.

Suzie: Barth
Boy at desk: Did you say "BARF??"
S: No, Barth
BOD: BARF? I don't see a Barf here
S: (getting a bit annoyed) No, Barth. B-A-R-T-H
BOD: Oh, Bar-TH. Here you are

For some reason I still find that day from over 20 years ago incredibly hilarious, but can't help but to think that maybe that should be my last name - because, you see, my family throws up (pukes, vomits, BARFS) more than any other family that I know.

My kids puke a lot - but don't most kids? But I vomit a lot too. When I was pregnant with both babies, I had hyperemesis, and pretty much threw up every single day of my pregnancies. Thats a lot of vomit. But even when I'm not pregnant, I'm fairly inclined to "blow chunks" more than the average adult. Even my husband gets in on the "fun". He lived for 2 years of his life in Siberia. He served an LDS mission there, and got really sick. The doctors are pretty sure he got radiation poisoning, but it still affects him. Without much warning, he can be seen running for the bathroom with his hand over his mouth.

Even our dear kitty is affected. She pukes at least twice a week. In fact, she left this lovely suprise for us just the other day - in my hubby's flip-flop no less:

Aren't you glad you read my blog!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Day at the cabin

We spent Saturday at my in-laws' cabin. The kids enjoyed playing in the mountains and taking a nice 3-ish mile hike to Lake Mary. Here's just a sampling of our fun day.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Things that make me smile

A different kind of Thankful Thursday post - some things that made me smile this week:

A family hike

Steep mountain roads (exactly 7 miles from my house)
Quaking aspen trees

Lillies in my garden
Little girls who aren't afraid to have strange bugs crawling all over their hands. And sun dresses - I love sun dresses!
Girls who help their sisters out
Cousins at the park

Sisters who love sleeping in the same bed (wearing sun dresses)
Popsicle-stained faces and cowgirl boots
More lillies

Yep - life is good

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Famous last words (and more TMI)

Going along with the theme of things you never knew about running, the topic for today is another unmentionable: chafing. Unfortunately, the increased friction of body parts rubbing onto body parts plus a little moisture (ie. sweat) can cause an uncomfortable condition known as chafing. Thankfully (and for reasons not quite understood, since I've got an extra 20+ pounds of "body parts" rubbing together on me) I'm not much of a chaffer (is that even a word?) But, it has been known to happen . So, I picked up a wonderful item at Fleet Feet called Body Glide (see picture at left).
It comes just like a stick of deodorant, and you basically run it all over the places on your body that are likely to chafe. It lubes things up, and eliminates the friction that can lead to painful chafing (keep your minds outta the gutter people!)
But, like I said, I rarely have the need for my Body Glide, and it rarely gets used. So, when I set out for a 15-miler the other day, I had a passing thought that maybe I should put some on. But I was already out the door and didn't want to go back. I reminded myself that, "self, you rarely chafe anyway, so you'll be ok."
But, you see, I wasn't ok. I had made a crucial mistake when putting on my running clothes: I had put on an old sports bra. So old in fact, that it was from the pre-baby days, when I was about 30 pounds lighter and the sisters were several letters lower in the alphabet. Now why I put this particular bra on, I have no explanation. My laundry was actually caught up, and I had better options. It was dark while I was getting dressed, so maybe I can claim night blindness. Regardless, there was some extra "friction" going on that I normally don't experience during my run.
I actually completed my 15+ miles without realizing my mistake. In fact, it wasn't until I got into the shower, and the stinging water hit my breasts, not unlike thousands of tiny needles. Its was agony. Boob chafing is by far the most painful kind of chafing (well, that a woman can experience. I can imagine that there may be something worse, but luckily I don't have to parts to ever find out).
I don't think I'll be making this mistake again.

**Why the heck can't I fix this spacing??

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Missing the boat?

Lately, a good majority of my blogging buds have made their blogs private so they can be accessed by only their family and/or friends. And of those who are public, most make the effort to conceal their identity and/or the identity of their children.

Then there is me. My information is public for all of the blog-o-sphere to see. I use real names. I post our real pictures. Granted I don’t use our last name, and I have never posted where I live – but I’m sure that I’ve provided enough clues for someone to figure out if they really wanted to. Several people who know me in real life have found me via my blog, so I know it’s not difficult to figure out who I am.

And guess what: I don’t care. I’m not worried about it one bit. I don’t lie awake at night worried that some crazed person/homicidal maniac is going to track me down because of my blog. I know there are crazy people out there – I lock my house when I’m home, I don't drive through gang-infested parts of town and I don’t go places in the dark by myself (other than the occasional early-morning run). I don't think that I'm overly naive when it comes to my safety. But I cannot figure out what I should be worried about.

So, what gives? Is there some big internet secret that I’m missing out on? Something else to worry about that I haven’t though of? Or am I just way too trusting. Please enlighten me people! I'm not saying this to be offensive - I honestly want to know!
p.s. - as a side note - I do have to mention that when one of my friends tells me that they're going private, I do feel a bit sad. But only because the reader that I use to tell me if there are new posts doesn't work on private blogs. I tend to not check them as often because I have to physically click on their blog, and I don't always think to do that. So, if you have a private blog, I still love you!
Ok - so I just re-read this post, and I can see how it may come off a bit offensive. I'm not trying to be offensive at all - I honestly would love for people to give me their insights. Please!

Monday, July 21, 2008

What we're up to

I realized recently, that my blog has changed.  For so long, it was all about me and my family.  But lately, its become more superficial and shallow.  I wonder if any of my readers have been wondering about what is really going on in my life.  Well, if you have, today is your luck day!  I’m posting one big fat update about my family.


Starting with Bryn:

She’s growing up so fast.  There is nothing baby left about her.  She’s tall, strong, and coordinated.  In fact, she’s been moved up to the 3 year old class in gymnastics – this Friday is her first day in the big class.  And she’s not even 3 until February.  I was worried about this at first, but then I noticed at her last class that she’s the tallest, most fearless, and youngest child in her current class.  She’ll be just fine physically.  I do still have a bit of a worry about her emotionally.  Right now, her class is “mom and me” – and with the move she’ll be on her own (which means I’ll get to watch both girls from the bleachers.)  I hope she makes the transition smoothly.


She is also the most loving and empathetic child that I have ever met.  She just seems to know how people are feeling, and how to react to them.  She knows if someone needs a hug, a smile, a laugh, etc.  I love that about her.  And she gives the best hugs – she seriously wraps her entire body around you when she hugs.  Its my favorite thing about her.  She also seems to have a sense of humor, and loves to make people laugh.


She also loves music, and especially seems to have the talent of remembering song lyrics.  On Friday, we were on our way to the store and that song “I kissed a girl” came on the radio.  The girls were chatting in the back, and I didn’t think much of it – until half-way through our trip when Bryn busted out with “I kissed a girl and I liked it . . . her cherry chapstick” from the shopping cart. 


She’s also the best eater of any little kid.  She’ll try anything – this weekend she ate sushi!  She loves fruit and veggies, and would eat black beans, salsa, and guac for every meal.  Finally too, her hair is growing.  I can actually pull it back into pig-tails now.  Its coming in strawberry with nice soft curls.  She’s such a cutie.


Next up is G:

My smart, precocious girl.  She is so amazingly smart that it scares me.  She remembers everything – even things that I think she’d be too young to remember.  She’s also become very manipulative and moody.  I do love her so, but some days it feels like a challenge.  I have to constantly remind myself to hug and kiss her – she just doesn’t like the physical stuff.  But I know that she needs it.


She’s also such a diva.  She’s worried about her hair, her clothing, and won’t leave the house without lip gloss and painted nails.  Really, she’s such a girly-girl, and it cracks me up because I have never been one.  I just don’t know where she got it.  She’s growing up way too fast.  She no longer likes princesses – this weekend we had to go buy her panties without princesses, because she’s too big for that.  I just had to laugh at her.  But she knows who the Jonas brothers are, and who she thinks is the cutest one.  I think she’s going to be a difficult teenager.


She is also tall, strong and physical – she loves to run, jump, swim, and do gymnastics.  We swim several times a week, and last week she surprised me by doing a flip from the side of the pool.  I also think I need to get her into dance – she loves to dance, and is starting to mimic grown-up moves.  (my kids definitely got their athleticism from their daddy, because it surely wasn’t from me).  She’s also very pretty – with her blue eyes, blonde hair, and skin that is nicely tan – she’s gorgeous!  I am in big trouble with her!


Eating is still a struggle for her – she’s so picky.  I feel like every meal is a constant battle.  I don’t want her to hate food, but I want her to eat healthy things.  She still won’t eat any fruits or veggies, but she will drink milk and eat pretty much any meat that comes from the BBQ grill.  She’s healthy though, so I probably shouldn’t worry too much.  I bought her new shoes two weeks ago – that were a size 13!  Next size up is a 1 in adult shoes.  Holy crap!  She is only four!


All about me:

I’m still running and trying to lose weight.  The weight loss part is a serious challenge, mainly because I love to eat.  And I’m always hungry.  Its coming off slowly, but I’d still like to lose about 25 more pounds, and at the rate I’m going, its going to be about 4 more years until that goal is realized.  Oh well – at least I’m progressing slowly.


Running is going fairly well – right now I’m sort of in a slump, but that is my typical pattern.  I know that in a few more weeks I’ll be addicted again.  Right now, it just seems that there are so many other things to accomplish, that running is taking a bit of a back burner.  And it’s difficult, because I don’t always have the support at home that I need.  But, I do still have the marathon to keep me focused.  I’m working on building up the mileage – I have 16 miles scheduled for tomorrow.  I know I’ll be ok – before St George, the most I’d completed was one 15-miler and I survived.  This time I’m in much better condition, so I’ll survive.  I may not beat my time by a full hour as previously hoped, but I’m sure to be improved.


I’ve also recently become addicted to making jewelry.  It’s a fairly inexpensive hobby, and I love the distraction it gives me.  Plus, I always have new stuff to wear.  I’ve actually been toying with the idea of trying to sell some, although I can’t seem to convince myself that it is good enough to sell.  Maybe I’ll try and put a few pieces on an Etsy shop and just see what happens – assuming I can find a few pieces that I’d be willing to part with.


Now for Ben:

I think that life has been the most difficult for him around our house.  He’s still working two different jobs, and trying hard not to be burned out.  I know that he’d like to find just one job, but the economy right now is such that he’s pretty much given up on finding that one job.  He’s resigned himself to needing both jobs for awhile longer, and he’s just tired.  Right now he’s really sick too with a cold that the rest of us have all had.  We survived it, just feeling a bit yucky, but the virus has almost incapacitated him – I’m sure because he’s gotten so run-down.  He has been trying to work on cycling, and also plays on a softball team.  Right now he’s the 4th ranked player in his league.


Overall, life is good for us.  Often the day-to-day stuff can feel overwhelming, but I know that I’m blessed and I’m happy with what I have.  My two little girls are the best thing ever, and I love being their mommy.

Because I'm good enough . . .

. . . smart enough, and dog-gon-it people like me. I won an award! The talented Tiburon has nominated me. Wasn't that nice of her! I feel so loved and special. Apparently posting really embarssing poo stories about myself pays off. Who knew?
So now, I have the difficult task of nominating 7 of my fellow bloggers for the same award. I have so many favorite blogs (just check my weblog) that its going to be difficult. And by the way, if I nominate you, its your turn to nominate 7 additional bloggers until every single person in the blog-o-sphere has been nominated.
So, without further ado, here are my 7 nominees (in no particular order):
1. Lynita from The Reid Clan. She's been one of my good friends for a long time, and she recently posted an Ode to Christie (that would be me) post. How could she not get nominated?
2. Heather from No One Suspects the Butterfly. She has the greatest talent of expressing herself through her words. I just love her thought-provoking posts.
3. Julia from See More Cemers. She is a fellow working/blogging mommy, and I just love her witty, sarcastic sense of humor. And because of her, I reconnected with a bunch of friends that I'd lost touch with.
4. Ruhiyyih from Ruhiyyih's Reflections. She's a witty, kind, runner that I just know I'd be friends with IRL (if we ever get to meet). She's also training for a fall marathon, and I love following her journey.
5. Jill from Up in Alaska. Ok - so I'm just a lurker on her blog, but I check it every single day, even if my reader doesn't show a new post. She has no idea who I am, and has actually won some really big and prestigeous blogging awards. But I'd still like to offer one more.
6. Meredith from Pithydithy. She's one of my oldest internet friends. I started reading her journal back in the TLOL days (I think that was around 2002) and I still read every post she writes. She's a great writer and has an amazing story.
7. Erin at Life in the Nuthouse. I think she's hilarious, and she has a really nice Etsy shop with lots of fun things. I don't know how she finds time to do it all.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Why I wish I'd become a teacher

Grading papers looks like fun:
(I retyped the stuff that may be illegible.)

Reads: q: Explain why phosphorus trichlorice (PCl3) is polar.

a: God made it that way.

No. There is an elephant in the way.

q: The water of the earth's oceans stores lots of heat. An engineer designed an ocea liner that would extract heat from the ocean's water at (some formula) and reject heat to the atmosphere at (another formula). He thought he had a good idea, but his boss fired him. Explain.

a: Because he slept with his boss' wife.
q: Sea salt is commercial obtained from sea water by the process of evaporation and crystalization. The main component of sea salt is sodium chloride. W hat type of attractive force or bond holds the sodium ions together in a crystal of sodium chloride?

a: James Bond

Yep. Shoulda been a teacher!

Thursday, July 17, 2008


Now you can have your very own My Fake Baby:

Customer testimonials:

"Baby Joel has arrived safely today, he did come yesterday but missed him cause I was at work, just collected fom the post office, he is absolutely lovely, didn't think he would look as real as he did in pictures, but hes amazing, love him to bits, me and my daughter are both thrilled, thanks Diane x x x"

"Hi Debbie, Sarah Jayne has arrived safely. She is absolutly beautiful, she has been reborned perfectly, you have captured that lovely baby skin tone that you dont see on a lot of reborns. I am so pleased thank you very much, best wishes Linda"

"Hello, my new daughter arrived today and she is just a love, she is great!! I love the packing :) what a beautiful pillow and her toys are so cute thanks so very much. I'm not sure as to when I can get a photo of in her new home to you since I've never used the digital camera (I do have one just never got around to learning about how to use it) Once again thanks so very much, Karen"

Come on - you know you want one. Even if they do seem a bit dead behind the eyes

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

These are the people in my bloggety neighborhood

I enjoyed the memory tag so much, that I thought I’d post what I remember about some of my fellow bloggers. Its kinda like a trip down memory lane:

1. Someone on my blog roll accidentally got locked in the bathroom of her office one night after everyone had gone home. Thinking she could get out by moving one of the ceiling tiles away and crawling back into her office, she instead crashed through the ceiling of an adjacent office, triggering the alarm and sending the police to rescue her. It is hands-down my favorite thing about this person. I still laugh when I remember that night.

2. Someone on my blog roll just returned from an amazing service trip to Uganda. Although I’ve never met her, I think she’s wonderful.

3. Someone on my blog roll took me to Homecoming when we were in high school. I wore the most horribly ugly red dress – what was I thinking?

4. I kissed the husband of someone on my blog roll. In our defense, it was during a game of Truth or Dare one night in Moab, and we have always been just friends. (and no, none of us were married at the time)

5. I met someone on my blog roll because her husband and mine met playing basketball. I think she is one of the kindest, friendliest, and best people I know.

6. Several “someones” on my blog roll were people that I actually met on the internet, but are now my friends in real life.

7. Someone on my blog roll knew my husband in high school.

8. Someone on my blog roll is so tall and gorgeous that she could easily be a model.

9. Someone on my blog roll caught the bouquet at my wedding, and she actually was the next person to get married out of all my friends.

10. Someone on my blog roll sells Lia Sophia jewelry.

11. Someone on my blog roll was my bff since I was 11 years old

12. Someone on my blog roll has orchestrated 4 different biggest loser contests. She is the most motivated person I know, and I think she’s such an inspiration.

13. Someone in my blog roll just found out she is “accidentally” pregnant after years of infertility. Although she isn’t someone that I know “in real life,” I’m so stinkin’ happy for her.

I could go on all day, but I’d better stop here. Please don’t be offended if I didn’t choose to talk about you specifically. Maybe I’ll have to do a part deux. And if anyone wants to try and guess who is who, I’m willing to offer a prize for the person with the most correct answers.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Right place at the right time

Today I got a rather cheesy email forward, the premise of which was that sometimes seemingly bad things happen in our life for a reason.  Maybe it is to keep us from harm, or perhaps to provide a means of helping others.  But sometimes seemingly insignificant events can have grand consequences.  I think that such an event happened to me today.
This morning, I overslept.  I had set the alarm to get up for a 4:30 am run, but rolled over in bed to realize that it was 6:20.  I typically leave for work at 6:30, so I jumped out of bed and rushed to get out of the door ASAP.  In my haste, I forgot to take my lunch with me (I typically "pack" to save money and calories).  So, when noon rolled around, I set out in search of lunch.  I found myself at one of my favorite places to eat (which shall remain nameless, because searches with this name happen to be the #1 way people reach my site).  I pulled into a spot, and as I got out of my car I noticed that there was a baby alone inside the car next to me.  He appeared to be about 4-6 months old, and was sitting inside an infant carrier.  There was no one else in the car.  The doors and windows were all closed and locked, and the car was not running.  It was in the 90s outside, and surely hotter in the car.  The poor baby was red and sweaty, and looked very uncomfortable.
I grabbed my cell phone and immediately dialed 911 - but before I could hit the "send" button, I decided that I should go inside the restaurant instead to see if I could find his parent.  I figured that would get him out of the car more quickly.  There was also an older child's car seat, so I went inside looking for someone with a toddler.  There were 2 families fitting that description.  I ran over to both, but neither family claimed to be the parent.  So, I just started going person to person, asking if they belonged to the baby in the car.  Towards the front of the line, I finally found the mother, and when I asked the the baby was hers, she had a very strange reaction.  She first screamed "OMG" and then ran outside to the car.  Had he been my baby, I would have taken him out of the carrier to make sure he was ok, checked him over, and probably started sobbing.  Then, I would have gotten in the car and driven away, because there is no way I would want to see any of the people inside the restaurant again).  But this lady simply took the carrier out of the car, and carried the baby back inside the restaurant.  She returned to her former place in line, and ordered her burrito like nothing happened - all the while holding the carrier with the baby safely strapped inside.  I did notice her touch the baby a couple of times, but she seemed strangely detached.
I was more upset than she was.  I probably shook for the next 15 minutes.  In retrospect, I think I should have just called 911, because seeing her reaction made me worry for the child.  Part of me even wonders if she had left him in the car on purpose, so she didn't have to carry him inside while she picked up lunch.  But even if she didn't, who in the hell forgets their child in the hot car?  Especially the day after a high-profile case where a mother plead guilty in the death of her child that resulted from her leaving him in the hot car.  I'm still shaking my head, and I can't help but to wonder what if I hadn't seen the baby, and his mother decided to eat inside the restaurant.
I'm a bit grateful that I overslept today.
(I'm posting this from my email.  I'm having issues with my internet, but I think I can still email.)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

To the makers of Bratz

Dear Bratz toy makers:

I always promised myself that I would never buy your heinous toys for my children. I do not agree with promoting bratty girls, and I feel your toys do just that. Besides, your dolls are just plain ugly - and just a little bit creepy. But, in a moment of weakness, I relented and purchased two of your dolls for my children. We had a 4 hour plane flight ahead of us, and I was looking for "new toys" to bribe them into quietness. It is a mistake I will regret for the rest of my life.

First of all, I take issue with the fact that their feet are removable. Do you not have children yourselves? Do you not realize that it takes approximately one nanosecond for one of the feet to become lost? Apparently you have not had the privilege of helping a hysterical 4 year old find the FOOT of her doll in the midst of a crowded airport.

Besides being annoying, its just plain creepy:

Its like a serial killer with a foot-fetish has visited the toy box.
Poor dolls.

My second complaint, is with how ugly your dolls are. The only thing that keeps them from being bimbos is their small breasts. Their make-up is awful, and, quite frankly, they resemble prostitutes. Look at that make-up:

No one, other than a 'ho wears lip liner like that (no one since 1995 anyway).

I regret to inform you, dear toymaker, that I will no longer be a customer of yours. I much prefer Barbie, who despite her immense popularity, has managed to maintain a sense of class and dignity.


Marathon Mom

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

More than you wanted to know

**warning – the following post contains graphic images and descriptions of bodily functions. If you are easily grossed-out, you may want to skip this post.

I’m going to let all my non-running readers in on a little secret: there are sometimes “unpleasant” effects of running. The casual runner may not experience them, but anyone who has pushed their body to its limits knows that it can cause potentially embarrassing gastric symptoms. From what I understand, when a runner (or any athlete for that matter) is really pushing their body, their heart is pumping hard carrying the blood to the extremities. This naturally causes the blood to be taken away from internal organs, such as the digestive tract. And when the body pulls blood away from the digestive tract, it stops digesting. The body’s response is elimination. Yep – that’s right. I’m talking about puking and pooping. (aren't you glad that you're still reading?)

When I first started running a couple of years ago, the puking part didn’t come as a surprise. I suppose I still had memories of running the mile in elementary school, and how sick it made me feel. I’ve actually only thrown up twice from running: once at the end of my very first 5k and once just last week after I failed to property keep my electrolytes balanced during a 14 miler.

But the whole pooping thing was a surprise to me – I had no idea that running could affect the bowels. Luckily, I’m a pretty regular person so it rarely is an issue for me. I also frequent a running board, and there are topics about the bowels often enough that I was aware of the potential before the situation presented itself. I do have to admit though, that there have been a couple of occasions where I’ve been blessed to find an appropriately placed restroom – but only one where I wasn't so lucky.

I’ve heard stories and I’ve even seen pictures though, so I know that I’m not alone. Ironically, the morning after the lovely and talented Tiburon forwarded me an email with this picture,

I set off for my early morning run. I only had 3 miles on the schedule for that day, and I planned to run before work – which meant getting up at 4:30 am. It was still pitch-black outside, and there was nary a soul to be seen. My run started out well, and I was running a fast pace (which I try to do at least once a week). About a mile into my run, I started feeling some rumblings from the depths of my bowels. But, I wasn’t too worried – I had less than 2 miles until home and I’d never had issues before.

As I kept running though, the situation became more urgent and I began to wonder what I could do. I was on a residential street, with only dark homes and sleeping occupants. There weren’t any available places to relieve myself until I reached home - and home was still about a mile away. I started running faster so that I would get home more quickly, which only made the situation worse. I kept thinking about the picture from the email only the day before, and perhaps it was psychosomatic, but I started to worry what would happen IF? Real people don't crap themselves do they? Isn't that something reserved for the ultra-tough, elite runners who don't want to risk their first-place finish?

So, I did the only thing I could think of at the moment: I ran behind a large pine tree in an open space area, dropped my pants, and took care of business. After I was finished, I stepped a few feet to my left, and drug my bum over the grass. Then, I pulled up my pants and finished my run. It’s not something that I’m proud of, and I can only hope that the sprinklers washed things away before the poor landscape guys had to mow. But I did what I had to.

So there you have it: my most embarrassing running-related moment. It actually took me almost a month to get the courage to post it, so please be kind. And if you feel so obliged to share something with me that would make me feel better, I’d much appreciate it.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Memory tag

I've seen this on a couple of blogs recently, and I thought I'd play along.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

I can't wait to see what people remember.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Maryland trip

I'm back from a trip to Maryland. Contrary to popular belief, there is a difference between a "trip" and a "vacation". A trip is simply time spent away from home, and a vacation is a relaxing time away from daily activities. So, because our adventure took us away from home in an airplane it definitely was a trip. But there was no relaxing to be found. We did manage to have some fun times though and I'm glad we went.

The girls did great on the plane ride out there for the first three hours - we had lots of snacks and treats. Unfortunately, the ride was 4 hours long - and that last hour was B-A-D. The lady direcly behind Bryn actually moved to another seat. The girls were so tired of sitting still, and they had energy to release. They were so noisy, but at least not whiny/crying.

The main purpose of our trip was to visit my grandparents. My grandfather is suffering from Parkinson's and recently broke his hip. He's been recovering in a care center, and a couple of weeks ago took another fall - this last time the fall caused a stress fracture. I really wanted to see him and for him to have the chance to spend time with my girls. I know that at his age and with his health conditions, that he probably won't be around much longer.

Because his Parkinson's is so advanced, he has a difficult time smiling. So, he has a smile mask that he can hold up to show that he's happy. The girls and I had lots of fun playing with it.

This is such a great picture, because my grandpa is smiling. Bryn was so wonderful with him. I was worried the kids would be scared of him (and G was), but Bryn loved him. She would offer hugs and kisses, and even let him tickle her. She seems to have a natural gift of unconditional love, as she would walk down the halls of the center making friends. At the end of our 5 days there, several people knew her by name. She just seemed to know what people needed to make them feel better. She's such a sweetie.
G loved the smile mask because some of the teeth had been blacked out. One afternoon, we were getting into the car after catching a bite at the grossest McD's in the world (and that is saying a lot). A woman came over to our car asking if we could spare some change. She was missing the exact same teeth as the smile mask. G thought it was hilarous.
The kids had a blast meeting all the relatives that they never knew they had. One afternoon, my "sort of" cousin (its a long story) and his wife brought over their kids to play. They instantly hit it off with my kids. The girls loved them.
G and S hit it off instantly. I overheard them trying to one-up each other's gross out stories, and I knew they were kindred spirits.
The girls also loved meeting my uncle Roger. He's such a goof, and my girls thought he was the best. Here he is playing in Grandpa's wheel chair while the kids run around like crazies.
More of the girls with their long, lost friend.

One afternoon, we headed to the outlets. No trip would be complete without some shopping, and thankfully the deals were easily found. I got the girls tights from TCP for 19 cents a piece. And I got 2 shirts from the Gap for only $8 - total. Bryn found a pair of movie star glasses and thought she was the cutest girl on the planet.
G got a pair of new glasses too, only was "too cool" to actually wear them on her face. She had to use them to hold her hair back, which is apparently much more stylish.
The girls were little paths of distruction around my grandparents'. The house is full of antiques, and I think I lost 2 years of my life from the blood pressure spikes they caused me. In 5 days, they broke a picture, an antique chair, and I caught them playing with an antique tea set. G also wet the bed one night and Bryn puked once from coughing (I think she may have allergies). My grandma seemed patient, but I'm sure it was hard on her too.
They are seriously like wild little monkies.I love Maryland. Everything is so green and pretty, but the best thing about my grandparents' yard are the flowers - they always have the most amazing flower gardens. My girls loved being outside - the green is hard to beat. They also loved chasing the fireflies, and we went out at dusk every night to see how many of them we could catch.

Off the back of the back deck, is the forest - complete with cute and fuzzy woodland creatures. We saw squirrels, deer, birds, and even a turtle. It was like having a zoo right in the backyard. My girls loved it.
Of course, the yard comes complete with antiques as well.

The ride home on the plane was nice - both girls slept the entire flight. We'd had to get up at 4 am (2 am our time) to catch our flight, and the girls were exhasted. We landed in SLC at only 10 am, but it felt like we'd put in a full day already. The girls though, having just woken up from 4 hour naps, were ready to go. Poor mommy needed a 24 hour nap (which is why she took the next day off of work to recover).
I'm actually pretty proud of myself for surviving.