Wednesday, July 09, 2008

To the makers of Bratz

Dear Bratz toy makers:

I always promised myself that I would never buy your heinous toys for my children. I do not agree with promoting bratty girls, and I feel your toys do just that. Besides, your dolls are just plain ugly - and just a little bit creepy. But, in a moment of weakness, I relented and purchased two of your dolls for my children. We had a 4 hour plane flight ahead of us, and I was looking for "new toys" to bribe them into quietness. It is a mistake I will regret for the rest of my life.

First of all, I take issue with the fact that their feet are removable. Do you not have children yourselves? Do you not realize that it takes approximately one nanosecond for one of the feet to become lost? Apparently you have not had the privilege of helping a hysterical 4 year old find the FOOT of her doll in the midst of a crowded airport.

Besides being annoying, its just plain creepy:

Its like a serial killer with a foot-fetish has visited the toy box.
Poor dolls.

My second complaint, is with how ugly your dolls are. The only thing that keeps them from being bimbos is their small breasts. Their make-up is awful, and, quite frankly, they resemble prostitutes. Look at that make-up:

No one, other than a 'ho wears lip liner like that (no one since 1995 anyway).

I regret to inform you, dear toymaker, that I will no longer be a customer of yours. I much prefer Barbie, who despite her immense popularity, has managed to maintain a sense of class and dignity.

Sincerely,


Marathon Mom

14 comments:

Tiburon said...

Don't they wear thong underwear too? We are a Bratz free household as well. I have better things to spend my money on!

You go on wit your bad self. :)

Koreena said...

Okay, that foot thing is weird.
I've never liked those dolls.

Kriss said...

Amen sister!!!! -kriss

Julia said...

I refuse anything bratz...even just the name on a keyboard or guitar. It is a horrible image to portray. Sure barbie has huge boobies, but at least she's not a big slut. I didn't know about the feet thing, but it just helps me commit more...no bratz!

Jan said...

Amen is right! I hate those things, I really do.

Steph N. said...

I hear ya' I hate Bratz!

I totally didn't know their feet came off, that is REALLY CREEPY!

Lynita said...

Lol! Seriously I can think of nothing worse than having my daughter want to be a Brat, let alone wearing lip liner that makes her mouth look like a butthole when puckered! I think someone should be quarted and shot and then we could clone them, and do it all over again. Yeah I'll take Barbie's impossible figure over freaky sized heads, whore makeup, and removable feet!

carrie said...

You're too funny. :o) Bella is way too young for them....so I haven't really paid attention. Now, I definitely will. (or won't!! ha ha)

Chelsea said...

You're so right, those are just ugly.

Heather Keele said...

I loved this post - totally hilarious (loved the letter format)! I hate, hate, HATE the Bratz dolls. Those high heels in the second picture seriously look like stripper heels. Or shoes at the Blue Boutique or something - they just need the fuzzy pink poof thing on the toe.

There's a few things that just bring the angry feminist out of me: beauty pageants, the absurdity of the "Deal or No Deal" girls, and these horrible dolls, to name a few. What kind of message are we sending girls?! Okay...I'm stopping. Thanks for the entertaining post and for momentarily spiking my blood pressure! :)

Megan said...

I am so glad that I am not the only one who doesn't like those dolls. I have hoped that they disappear from the scene before Hannah is to the age that she would want one.

Omgirl said...

They should just be called Slutz. Because that's what they look like. Their faces are ravaged by too much plastic surgery and lip injections. And their clothing is super slutty, not at all the models I want my daughters to follow. I will NEVER buy those horrible toys, no matter how much my daughter cries.

Anne Marie said...

I agree, those are FREAKY!!! Do little girls really like those these days? Like there aren't enough horrible role models for them.

Stephanie F. said...

Ditto! Love the lip liner comment!