To chart or not to chart - that is the question

When I was trying to get pregnant, I charted religiously for 2 years. I suppose it helped me to feel like I had some control over my "unexplained infertility". I took my temps every morning at 6am - no matter what. I checked my cervical position and cervical mucous, no matter how disgusting it seemed. I faithfully did the baby dance at least every other day for two solid years. I tried various positions that were supposed to plant the sperm more directly into my retroverted uterus. I even spent lots of money on Clomid and PreSeed. (and even more on EPTs)

Then, one day when I was sure that my dear old Aunt Flo was knocking on the door, I got my postitive test. And after the most awful pregnancy I could have imagined, my baby was born 4 weeks early.

Now, here I sit, contemplating trying to conceive yet again. For the life of me, I cannot seem to chart. I noticed a nice amount of fertile cervical mucous (with is way TMI) the other day, so I know that I ovulated, but other than that, I can't bring myself to do it. Maybe it is because I am scared of being pregnant again - and who could blame me? It isn't as if I am looking forward to puking every single day for another 8 months, while still gaining over 60 pounds and blowing up like a tick and having to be put on bedrest but still getting pre-eclampsia and having to be induced then not getting to see my baby for 36 hours because she is in the NICU and I'm not allowed out of bed (I know - run-on sentence, but it's past my bedtime).

But, then again, maybe I am already pregnant. My dear old Aunt Flo hasn't made an appearance since the middle of September. Here it is November already, and I have had lots of unprotected sex (I can't bring myself to use any form of contraception, but that is a story for another day)