I've been thinking about this post for awhile, but I just can't seem to find a way to word it. So, I'm just going to write. Here goes:
Lately, I've been feeling a sense of of foreboding - almost impending doom - about the state of things in my life. Maybe its the economy - I don't know. But when I think about the economy, or money in general I start to get serious anxiety and I don't know why. It isn't like me to worry. But even just this week, I read in the news that Ben's employer is planning to layoff 10% of its workforce, and I get the news at work that they're will likely be no raises this year (but at least layoffs are their last resort). Some days, I literally fight the urge to just run away from it all. I want to get out of suburban hell - to sell everything we have, and find some small home in a small town away from everything. Somewhere that we can have a little bit of land to grow a large garden and to find a life that may be simpler.
I have this romantic notion that somehow I'd enjoy life a little more if we could just stop worrying about mortgages and insurance; TV; stressful jobs; etc. To just focus on our family. To live in a small town, and have not much more than each other. That sounds nice to me. I've actually been reading a blog about a man who has done just that - he has quit his job, and selling everything so that he can just live his life. (I'd link it, but he just recently went private) I don't want to be that drastic, but in a way it sounds nice.
I must go through this every once in a while I suppose, because last year about this time I was applying for jobs in remote places like Kalispell Montana and Palmer Alaska. I even interviewed for a job in Moab - would that have been nice - but I turned down the second interview out of fear that I'd actually get it.
I actually started ripping up the sod in my dinky backyard so I could plant some fruit and veggie bushes in the spring. Perhaps I can bring a bit of simple to me.