Thursday, October 23, 2008

Why blog?

I've been struggling lately.  There hasn't been much going on that seems like good blogging fodder.  Lately I feel compelled to only blog when I've got something interesting and/or funny to say.  And I guess my life has been boring, because nothing has struck me as important enough to blog about.  I'm feeling a bit unhappy with life.  When that happens, I tend to stay away for awhile, and not even read my friends' blogs.
 
It actually got me thinking about why I started blogging - back in 2004.  Initially, it was just for me.  No one actually knew I had a blog - it was simply my on-line journal.  I have posted to message boards and other forums for years - I still do.  But blogging was nice because I could keep and remember the things I posted about.  My blog was also completely uncensored - I wrote about frustrations and struggles - things that I normally keep to myself (I'm a pretty closed person).  Slowly I started making my blog known to people, but it was still primarily just for me.  No one in my "real life" knew about my blog - only my online friends (people I met on message boards, etc) were privy to that information.  I was still pretty honest about things back then.  Eventually, people in my "real life" found me, and honestly, it scared me a bit.  I actually went back and deleted several older posts that were a bit too honest/raw/uncensored.  I started feeling like I had to keep myself in "check".  This is when my current blog started to evolve - the blog that is mainly about trivial things.  Sometimes I'm actually afraid to post about the real me, because I never know who is reading.  Its not that I have any deep and dark secrets, but I am definitely more careful about what I say.  My current blog is mostly from my friends and family now - so I can let them know what is going on, and they can see how my kids are growing up.
 
I actually miss my old blog on occasion, especially during times like this.  I find that writing about my struggles and frustrations is cathartic, and really helps me work through it all.  I think that is why I go through these blogging lulls - kind of like the old saying:  if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.  I miss having something that truly reflected me, not just the happy, artificial me.  (not that I'm not a happy person, because I am.  But there is more to me.)
 
So, if I did blog about real life, would y'all think less of me?  Would you judge me?  I know that most of you wouldn't, but I guess that fear is still there.  Likely, there'd be many of you who could relate to things, and maybe even find it refreshing to know that others struggle as well.  I'm stuck in this conundrum, and my poor neglected blog suffers.  Does any of this even make sense? 
 
What causes the rest of y'all to blog?
 
 

19 comments:

Omgirl said...

Well, one of my favorite reasons to blog is to have a place to bitch and moan. so I, for one, wouldn't judge you or think less of you if you weren't always writing perky stories. You should blog for YOU. I know it's easy to let your blog evolve into this thing that wasn't anything like what you intended it to be when you started. So feel free to make course corrections as necessary!

Jen said...

I say blog about what you want, it is after all YOUR blog! I would want that for you, as I hope people would want that for me. We use our blog as a journal of sorts. But if you are really worried then you could always make another one, and keep it private just for what you want to say and no one would have to know. :)

Jen said...

I say blog about what you want, it is after all YOUR blog! I would want that for you, as I hope people would want that for me. We use our blog as a journal of sorts. But if you are really worried then you could always make another one, and keep it private just for what you want to say and no one would have to know. :)

Me said...

If you have trouble resolving this concern, just have a seperate private blog. I actually have over twelve different blogs. And certainly don't let the blog drive you, you drive the blog...meaning don't worry about having long pauses between posts and about entertaining everyone. Sure we all love to read about each other, but sometimes you just need a break. Blogging should definitely be an stress outlet, not a new source for stress, for we all surely have enough of those.

downj said...

I have read your blog for a while. I was on labor of love WAY back in the day. I love your blog and will miss it if you decide to no longer blog. I hear you on being careful. I blog only positive things (for the most part)because I NEED to see the beauty in my life. I have to read about the beauty in my life. I have had a hard life and it is time to put that behind me and look at the here and now. Everyone blogs for different reasons. I read your blog because I relate. I don't blog about those things but I experience them. You experience the same things I blog about and if you read it is because you relate.

Julia said...

Ahh you are dealing with the same thing that I'm dealing with. When Jeff found out about the other blog, he FLIPPED. I felt so betrayed by the person who told on me. I'd start another one, but who would I have read and respond. Who do you trust not to spill your secrets to?

I am unhappy sometimes. So I'm going to blog about that. We have hard times, I want to blog about that. Jeff told me I even had to delete my other blog, which I haven't, but I also haven't posted. He thinks it is weird to put that info out there and then just have random people give what he calls "poor" advice or "reaffirm" me that I'm okay.

I think half the reason I love to blog and like the comments is cuz sometimes I DO need to be reassured. I don't have a million IRL friends mostly because I don't make the time. Why can't I be friends with those out there that can understand what I'm going through.

Okay so this is a blog post that I SHOULD be able to post on mine. But alas....trying to save the marriage.

I like your blog now, but when I first found you I read way, way back. And you are right, it has changed some, but not in a bad way. Write what you like, just be wary of if you DO get repercussions from the people you love and who SHOULD understand you. Blah sorry that was so long.

Kristina said...

I feel the same way. I opened up my blog to my family (having hidden away all the really personal stuff) and now I never write because I can't really be honest there, and since its our families I can't bitch about my husband, whine about my job or anything like that. I have a private blog, that no one reads, so I'm not really drawn there and TLOL isn't quite the right place anymore either.

So I don't know. I feel the same way, I really would like a place where I could be a little more honest, but I also don't want my boss or my family to figure it out. So I don't know...

I don't actually find the day to day details of peoples live boring. I find those entries about that things you do all day are often better than the more thought out ones. So I'd say write what you want, when you want and how often you want. No one is paying you to do this so you don't owe anyone anything.

Okay - this was long and rambly... now I'm going work. Blah. Have a great week :).

TTYL-Kristina

Jess T said...

I like Me's suggestion and have thought about doing it too. :)

nicole said...

I feel the same way... I would love to blog about how I hate my job and my manager is an idiot. (She really is and I want to strangle her with my bare hands on a weekly basis.) I would love to say that I want to start a family soon, but am too afraid that would-be employers will see that. I would like to vent about how petty and judgmental some of the peeps in my church are, but then they read and get all defensive.

At the same time, I say go for it. Or start a separate private blog for that with only a few friends invited. I still want Julia to start another one... and let me contribute. I need me a 'bitch files.'

Either way, I like reading your posts. Some times I relate, some times I don't. But I like reading about you and your life and find comfort in the fact that there are other sane ladies out there whose lives aren't perfect 100% of the time.

Chelsea said...

I really relate! My blog used to be completely anonymous. Now I can't be open about things - like my family, my ward, etc. Not like I was constantly snarking about everyone before, but there is something lost when you know people you know will be reading what you write. I might start a new blog and keep it anonymous just for that purpose.

Kriss said...

Girl, I say keep it real! Life is about the ups and downs. Plus if your going through something, I would like to be able to offer words of comfort or advice. One of Riley's friends sent me an email telling me I am putting my kids in danger and how I give out to much family information. I told her to mind her own business. What you get is real from me, no other way. If I don't want to share it, I don't. If I do, I do. It's real, what you read is what you get.

Jen (mellie) said...

We all have a truth deep inside that we hope no one ever sees. Because we think if we let down our walls and people really knew how small, scared, weak and out of control we felt that they wouldn't love us anymore. The rediculous part of that is that we ALL have those self-doubts and self-loathing moments.

I actually switched back to a regular paper journal for a place to sort out my own thoughts. I really really enjoy having a written journal again. I like the physical presence of it. Going back and rereading old entries in my own handwriting is kind of comforting. Maybe you could keep your blog for your family and keep a more personal journal that's just for you.

Lynita said...

I think you should be able to say what you want, when you want. Isn't that the point of blogging? I swear that some people seem way to perky and perfect in their blogs. Ryan even told me I was complaining about my pregnancy too much in my blog, what the hell? You can never complain too much about pregnancy! I guess my point is that I love the Christie I know, candid, honest, and imperfect, but a great person and a good friend! So bitch people out in your blog, complain, celebrate, and share...I'll only think more of you!

carrie said...

Hi Christie!! First of all, I hope you're feeling better!! I am going to bring you a treat this week, I promise!! I already have something planned. Secondly....blog about what YOU want. I know what you mean though about worrying about what people think and all that. I've VERY guilty of that. I made my blog private just for that reason..... We're all human though, so we ALL go through things at times. I remember the first time I read Lindsay's blog. I loved it because it was so REAL. I loved it because I felt like I could really relate to a lot of the things she wrote about. We're all struggling to be the best we can be....but feel so inadequate at times. OR....we just want to vent and get our ugly feelings out. :o) Either way, your true friends will love you (and your blog) the same regardless of what you're going through. I have found blogging to be soooo theuropeudic (sp??)....for those reasons. I loved what Julia wrote, because I totally agreed with what she wrote. We, as women, have to try so hard to be "perfect"...and when we're not, we feel like we're not worthy of much. It's just not true.... I have lots of friends who have completely different views and opinions on so many things. I love them ALL for having those views. :o) I think it's GREAT. I think life would be pretty boring, otherwise. I've told you before...but I've loved your independence and your strength. Don't hide that because you think someone will be offended. THAT wouldn't be YOU. :o) (I hope I wrote that right....but I think you know what I mean) I have LOVED getting to know you better through your blog. I'm so sad I didn't get to know you before you moved away. I wasted a lot of time. YOU are fantastic. Hope you had a good weekend!! I'll bet your girls are SO excited for Halloween. Let's get together soon....maybe next week, after Halloween?? Oh, and BTW, I apologize for my husband's humor on facebook. I was so embarassed...but of course, he thought he was completely hilarious. :o)

Heather Keele said...

I love your blog because you are so real. Sometimes I read some blogs and they make me feel like I live on a different planet (can anyone be/look/act so perfect?) - which can be annoying and even depressing. So you write whatever you want - I'm sure we'd all rather read that anyway!

So what makes me blog? I don't get too personal on my blog - I write about the really personal stuff in my physical journal (but don't get the impression that I write frequently in it - it actually has some dust on it. I haven't written in there since April). My blog is my place to dump my opinions and just write about anything. Someday I'd like to be a professional writer, but it's not the right time in my life. So, my blog is just keeping me on my game. Sometimes I wonder if my blog is boring to others or if I should make it look a certain way, but then it'd become something that's not me and I wouldn't enjoy with a persona that's not me.

Okay, long comment....basically,keep it up, Christie. If people don't like the candid things you want to say, do you really want them reading your blog anyway? Personally, I don't think you'll lose anyone.

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