I've been struggling lately. There hasn't been much going on that seems like good blogging fodder. Lately I feel compelled to only blog when I've got something interesting and/or funny to say. And I guess my life has been boring, because nothing has struck me as important enough to blog about. I'm feeling a bit unhappy with life. When that happens, I tend to stay away for awhile, and not even read my friends' blogs.
It actually got me thinking about why I started blogging - back in 2004. Initially, it was just for me. No one actually knew I had a blog - it was simply my on-line journal. I have posted to message boards and other forums for years - I still do. But blogging was nice because I could keep and remember the things I posted about. My blog was also completely uncensored - I wrote about frustrations and struggles - things that I normally keep to myself (I'm a pretty closed person). Slowly I started making my blog known to people, but it was still primarily just for me. No one in my "real life" knew about my blog - only my online friends (people I met on message boards, etc) were privy to that information. I was still pretty honest about things back then. Eventually, people in my "real life" found me, and honestly, it scared me a bit. I actually went back and deleted several older posts that were a bit too honest/raw/uncensored. I started feeling like I had to keep myself in "check". This is when my current blog started to evolve - the blog that is mainly about trivial things. Sometimes I'm actually afraid to post about the real me, because I never know who is reading. Its not that I have any deep and dark secrets, but I am definitely more careful about what I say. My current blog is mostly from my friends and family now - so I can let them know what is going on, and they can see how my kids are growing up.
I actually miss my old blog on occasion, especially during times like this. I find that writing about my struggles and frustrations is cathartic, and really helps me work through it all. I think that is why I go through these blogging lulls - kind of like the old saying: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I miss having something that truly reflected me, not just the happy, artificial me. (not that I'm not a happy person, because I am. But there is more to me.)
So, if I did blog about real life, would y'all think less of me? Would you judge me? I know that most of you wouldn't, but I guess that fear is still there. Likely, there'd be many of you who could relate to things, and maybe even find it refreshing to know that others struggle as well. I'm stuck in this conundrum, and my poor neglected blog suffers. Does any of this even make sense?
What causes the rest of y'all to blog?