How do you know when you're done?

Two kids is a really nice round number. We have a 3 bedroom home. Our car fits 2 car seats really nice. There's two parents (thus one kid for each parent to take care of). The entire time I was pregnant with Brynlee, I was sure she was the last. I hate being pregnant so much, and really I'm not a healthy pregnant person.

But something happened once she was born. I'm not sure what has caused me to feel this way, but I have a nagging feeling that our family isn't complete. I feel that somehow there's another child for our family someday. Ben and I discussed it, and he's not entirely opposed to the idea. But, he wants to wait until both girls are potty trained until we try. He loves his girls, but I know he'd love a boy too. Ben's such a sports nut. He really needs a boy to pass that along to. Of course our girls can play ball with their daddy, but there's something about having a BOY to do those things with that I think every man wants.

Of couse, I can't put 3 kids into daycare. So, if we do have one more, I'd have to be a SAHM. (the ramifications of this extend well beyond the title to my blog). Obviously we need to make some financial changes before this happens as well.

Then, there's the factor of my age. I'll be 32 this year - which isn't ancient by any standards. But, I have this fantasy of being an empty-nester and being young enough to enjoy it. I suppose there's always the risk of Down's too the older I get.

Hmmmm. So much to consider.

Yesterday Gracelin said to me, "I love my family. They make me happy - my sister and my brother". Ben and I just looked at each other and asked "did she say BROTHER?" Of course she could just have been repeating something she heard at daycare or even the nursery at church. Then again, she could know something that the rest of us haven't figured out yet. LOL Out of the mouths of babes.

So, I guess to sum up my ramblings: We're not entirely certain that our family's complete.

Me = Fatty McFatty

Pregnancy is not kind to my body. At all. My hyperemesis is much worse when I'm hungry, so in an attempt to keep my tummy settled, I eat almost constantly. As a result, I gain lots of weight. Even though I try and eat healthy food choices, too much food is too much. KWIM?

My body looks terrible. I'm almost 50 pounds overweight, and I hate myself for that. My tummy is the worst. Brynlee gave me terrible stretch marks (I guess thats what a 9 pound baby does to a person) and my leftover skin is literally hanging around my midsection. YUCK.

I'm desperately trying to lose weight. Breastfeeding makes me constantly hungry too, so I feel like I'm always fighting with myself. I'm limiting my sugar, fat, and refined carbs. Since I started trying, I've lost 10 pounds in 4 weeks. I know I need more exercise, but having two babies and working a full-time job makes working out almost impossible.

At least my kids are cute (see picture to left LOL)

Wow - I suck at this

I can't believe its been almost a year since my last post. Here's a quick recap of the past year:

We ended up putting our house up for sale, and it sold in only 4 days. Since we hadn't even gotten our new house plans back from the architect yet, we moved in with my parents. Right after we moved in, I realized that I hadn't been feeling well for quite awhile. So, I took a pregnancy test and found out that we were expecting our second baby. This came as quite a shock, since we didn't think that we could get pregnant on our own. But, we were happy.

The news of a new baby changed our plans. We both felt that our decision to build where we'd planned wasn't the best choice. So, we just walked away and found a different lot and started the process to build something a bit smaller and cheaper. I was so grateful to be living with my mom at that time, as I was so sick from the pregnancy.

Our new home was finished in Jan 2006, and we moved in while I was 9 months pregnant. Talk about stress! I was uncomfortable, huge, and totally swollen. My pregnancy was easier than it was with Gracelin, but I still threw up almost every day and I suffered from PIH and pitting edema.

My water broke in the middle of the night on Sunday Feb 19, so we were off to the hospital. Brynlee Mae was born at 2:59 on February 20th (her Grandpa's birthday) weighing 9 pounds 2 ounces. They said she was 19 inches, but by her 2 week well baby check she was up to 22 inches - and I doubt that she grew 3 inches in 2 weeks. That would have been some growth spurt!

So, in the past year we've gotten a new house and a new baby. Lots has changed.