Happy birthday Gracelin!

Happy birthday Sweetie. In honor of her, here are some of my favorite Gracie moments:
Summer 2008 at the rodeo - she did the "mutton bustin'" where she rode a sheep - and was the only girl in the competition.
Spring 2007 at Zion National Park. G established herself as a world-class hiker chick and lover of red rock.
Fall of 2006 - she fully embraced her role as a big sister extraordinaire.
Summer of 2005 in Eden, Utah. I just like this picture.
Autumn 2005 - again, loving being outside.
Easter 2009 - at Wheeler Farm for an Easter Egg festival.
Spring 2006 - with Grandpa at Antelope Island in the middle of the Great Salt Lake.
April 30, 2006 - her second birthday
I don't remember when this picture was. I just like it.
Summer 2005 - she's such a tree hugger.

Just what I needed

Last weekend, I took a girls only road trip to Vegas. There were no husbands. No kids. No obligations. Only rest and relaxation. It was just what I needed.
There were pedicures (not sure why he's wearing that mask. I swear my feet were clean and stink-free).
There was plenty of eating.
And dinners with friends (in places where there are no high-chairs).
Life on the road is easy and fun.
And in keeping up with the documentation of other mileage milestones in my car, we hit 88888 somewhere outside of Parowan.
In a place that looked like this. Beautiful.

Embracing the muffin top . . .

. . . and/or the double chin . . .

I'm working on keeping unattractive pictures. Here's some that prove they're not all deleted.

Phat mom running

At our house, Monday night is Family Night. For FHE, we do not schedule any other activities unless it is family time, and we dedicate the entire night to spending time as a family. This past Monday, we decided to take advantage of the warm weather, and to work on our family goal to become more "fit" - so we headed down to the Jordan River Parkway Trail. The girls took their bikes, and I laced up my running shoes.

Now, if you live in the Valley, and you have never been down to the Parkway Trail, you are missing out. It really is an oasis. Although, considering the fact that the 123rd trail-head parking lot was packed, I'm thinking that it isn't much of a secret.

Anyway . . .

The girls got the bikes out, and daddy walked along with them while I ran on ahead. I didn't want to leave them too long, so I ran out for 15 minutes, then turned around and came back. I haven't run much outside yet this season, but I have been running on the dreadmill several times a week. And while I kick bootay on the DM, my outside running leaves something to be desired. But I didn't care, I just put one foot in front of the other and pressed on.

Although I was slow, I felt great. The breeze was blowing, the sun low in the sky, and my shadow stretched out long over the sage brush. In the distance, the snow-capped mountains stood. (I was so sad that I forgot my camera.) I actually turned off the iPod, and ran to the sounds of the birds, geese and frogs. The run back took 4 minutes longer, but I made it back in time to play at the park for a few minutes with the girls before taking them for frozen yogurt. It was the perfect night.

I came home, put the kids to bed, and put in for the St. George Marathon lottery - in a team, along with my brother and his girl friend. (they ran the SLC last weekend, and she came in 3rd in her division and 22nd overall)

Who am I

Have you ever wondered why you never see pictures of me on my blog? Well, in case you have, let me tell you why: I hate pictures of myself.

Overall, I'm a confident person. I know that I am an intelligent person. I do my best to be kind, honest and good. I am a good mother and wife, a good employee, and hopefully a good friend. I also know what I am not: thin, beautiful, attractive. And looking at pictures of myself reminds me of what I am not.

I haven't always felt that way about myself. I used to be thin and cute. I used to spend hours working out and eating right, going to the salon and tanning bed. But then I had babies. And I got busy. Somewhere along the way I stopped taking care of myself. I haven't had a hair cut in over 18 months (let alone any kind of color or style) I bite my fingernails and pick my toes. My eyebrows haven't been plucked in years. I rarely wear makeup. And despite every effort to run and eat right, I'm 30 pounds overweight.

I'm a freakin' mess.

Today I was reading a post by the wonderful Pithydithy about body images, and it made me start thinking - really thinking - about me. She linked a website called The Shape of a Mother, where women post pics of their post-baby bodies, and then try to convince one another that they are still beautiful. But, are stretch marks beautiful? What about the muffin top that gets left behind after a 9 pound baby has been in there? In a perfect world, we should all love ourselves for who we are inside, despite the cellulite and jello-like jiggly tummy. I wish I could wear them with pride - instead they make me feel self-conscious about myself. Some days, I feel like it defines my personality because I feel so insecure about my appearance.

I want it not to matter. I want to keep pictures of myself with my kids (instead of deleting them the minute they're uploaded). I want to feel confident in my own skin, and to love my body.

Work in progress

Lately I've been working on being more positive with my kids. I'm not necessarily negative, but I am a perfectionist. And I tend to demand perfection from my kids as well. I also want them to grow up as confident individuals, so I've been making a concerted effort to note the positives in all they do, so they don't grow up thinking that they cannot please me.

For example, the other day I asked Bryn to feed the cat - a relatively simple chore for a 3 year old, and one that I ask her to do often. Well, on this particular day, she figured that if she fed the cat a lot, she would need to do it less often. So, I walked into the mud room and saw this:

(I'm not sure why she included a dryer sheet) My initial reaction was to scold her for dumping an entire bag of cat food into the dish. But (remembering my goal to notice the positives) I told her what a great job she did. She had definitely fed the cat as I had asked her to do. I did remind her that next time, maybe we should try to only give the cat what can fit in the bowl. I think her strategy worked - it was a week ago, and the cat hasn't needed food since.

I've also been trying to teach G to wipe herself after going #2. She's going to be in kindergarten in the fall, and its time she learned to take care of things herself (besides, it is also my goal to only have one bum to be in charge of). Yesterday, I was in the yard doing some spring cleaning outside, when she sheepishly came to me asking for help. She had attempted to wipe herself, only had been a bit too concerned with getting herself clean: she had used the entire roll of toilet paper, and clogged the toilet.

Again, wanting to be upset with her for making such a mess, I instead thanked her for taking care of herself. I then told her that perhaps next time she could try and use a bit less paper. (I decided not to use that pic - you'll just have to use your imagination)

Easter 2009

Pictures from Easter weekend:
I think that people dressed as the Easter Bunny are generally pretty creepy, but the girls didn't seem to mind.
Saturday morning we took the girls to Wheeler Farm for an Easter festival.
It was chilly and raining a bit, but the girls still had fun.

After the festival, we headed to Grandma's house to dye some eggs. The kids had so much fun, that we colored 3 dozen eggs!
Sunday morning was church, and the obligatory Easter Dress pictures.





After church, it was back to Grandma's (both of them actually, although I left my camera in the car at one of the stops).
More Easter baskets and treats - and it was finally sunny and warm(er)

Spring cleaning

The girls and I walked into the house this afternoon, after a fun-filled morning of gymnastics and lunch with friends. Outside, there was a warm spring breeze, and the air smelled of spring. But walking into the house, the air felt stale and heavy. I'll admit that I've gotten behind in housework lately, and (I'm embarrassed to admit that) my house SMELLED dirty. It was such a contrast to the sweet spring air, and I longed to have some of the goodness of outside inside.

The girls and I immediately got to work. We opened the blinds and windows to let the fresh air in. We turned up the tunes and got to work - scrubbing, mopping, sweeping and dusting. My kids actually like cleaning (I think it may have something to do with getting to spray the cleaner and then wipe it up), and they were having fun. Bryn hummed her own song, while G put on her CDs in her room.

For 2 hours we worked, side-by-side. It was fun. And pretty soon, the house was sparkling. (at least most of it . . . there is still work left . . .) But it just feels better inside.

As a reward, we went for ice cream and then cuddled on the couch watching a movie. Bryn fell asleep in my arms, so I carried her off to bed (I love nights like that). As I kissed her little cheeks, I realized how blessed I am.

Today was a good day.

Obama is the smartest man alive

I'm not talking about his economic "reform".

Nor am I talking about his foreign policy.

No - what I'm talking about is his ability to fill out an NCAA men's March Madness bracket.

Let me explain . . .

Just as he does every year, my brother-in-law does a family "March Madness" tournament, where we all fill out our brackets. Only this year, I didn't get the email to join the group until about an hour before the games started - I didn't have much time to do my research and fill out my bracket (who am I kidding? I never research - I usually choose the team from the place that I'd rather visit . . . but that isn't important to this story).

When I did get the email to join the family tournament, I was at work where I was unable to access the website. I did really want to participate (even though I'd likely get my butt kicked). So, I decided to try to access it via the BlackBerry.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with BlackBerry, let me just take a second to explain exactly how they work. The BB allows me to access most websites; however they typically have limited function. As was the ESPN site. I was able to visit our family's page and view the brackets that had already been filled out, but I was unable to make my own selections.

I was frustrated. Sad. I really wanted to participate, but I wasn't going to rush home just to fill out a bracket. I was going to be out of the competition this year. Just as I was ready to give up, I scrolled down and saw a link where I could choose a celebrity bracket as my own. It wouldn't be my own picks, but at least I could participate.

Obama was the first name on the list. Surely he had a team of advisors helping him predict the right teams. I'd definitely win if I used his bracket, right? So, use Obama's bracket I did.

And oh how right I was (about him knowing who to pick). I ended up totally obliterating the competition. 80% of the picks were right, even down to UNC being the winner. My only regret is that I didn't play for money, but I will next year for sure! Momma needs a new pair of shoes.

April fool

My girls learned about April Fool's Day yesterday at daycare. They came home armed with plans to fool me (their not-so-gullible mommy). G was so excited though, that she couldn't wait to pull her prank. While in the bath, we had the following conversation:

G: Mommy, do you know what today is.

.
Me: Yes I do sweetie, it is April Fool's Day.

G: I am going to trick you tonight.

Me: You are? What are you going to do?

G: After we get in bed, I am going to pretend like I forgot to brush my teeth.

Me: Wow! You would get me good with that one!

I then decided to take the opportunity to school my kids on how to trick someone.

Me: Oh my gosh you guys! Check out that giant spider on the wall! (I said, while pointing at the bathroom wall)

They both turned and looked excitedly (they love bugs).

Me: Haha!! April Fool's.

They caught on immediately, trying to fool one another. They quickly grew tired though (thankfully) and went on to other things.

Quite awile later, Bryn excitedly told me, "mommy! You have blue hair!"

Me: I do??

Bryn: Just kidding! April 30th.

(April 30th is G's birthday)

Idolatry

I think that I established the fact last year that I am a huge American Idol fan. It is funny too, because I am not the biggest TV fan. But I never miss Idol.

This season, I really only have one contestant that I love. Of course, Megan Joy is fun to watch - because she is the hometown girl and a total trainwreck (whick is too bad, because I think her voice is very original and she's gorgeous). I also think that Danny has a great voice and has a great story, but he is so boring. I am definitely not feeling Adam Lambert - he is a great performer, but if you close your eyes and listen, he actually sounds awful.

Actually, the one contestant that I tune in to see is Kris Allen. Not only is he smokin' hot and the nicest guy ever, he is really talented. He doesn't have the best voice (although it is pretty good), but he has so much musical talent. And I think he's marketable. He has the whole John Mayer or Jason Mraz singer/songwriter thing going on, and me likey.

My prediction for tonight's bottom three is: Anoop, Matt, and Lil with Matt going home. Anyone agree with me?


(I can no longer access blogger at work, so my blogging is going to decrease a lot. I am actually posting right now from my BlackBerry - which is ok. But I cannot post pics, nor can I comment on other blogs. So, don't be sad if you're seeing less of me.)

Mommy definitions

Compromise: (noun) - allowing your 3-year-old to wear a swimming suit on a snowy day, just as long as she's wearing snow bibs and moon boots as well.

(My apologies for the quality of the photo - it was taken with my phone. Its hilarious though. My brother said she looked like she belonged on an episode of My Name is Earl)

Potty talk

What is it about being 3 and 4 that makes potty humor hilarious? My kids are at the height of this stage and it is driving me insane. Every time they pass gas, laughter erupts. And every chance they get, they throw a "potty" word into conversation.

Maybe it is because their recent potty training accomplishments are on their mind. At their age, being potty trained is probably their biggest accomplishment to date. Maybe they just like talking about it because it reminds them of how grown up they are.

Or, maybe its just funny, and I'm an old fuddy-duddy and just don't get it.

Either way, I'm hoping this phase passes quickly (no pun intended).

Last night in the bath, Bryn was making up her own funny versions to the opening song for the Playhouse Disney show "My Friends Tigger and Pooh". Since the word "pooh" was already in the lyrics, all she had to do was replace the word "Tigger" and she had a funny song. She sang about her friends "pooh and pee", "pooh and fart", and then "pooh and penis" (that last one I don't get). She and G were laughing so hard that one of them got the hiccoughs. Tears were streaming down their chubby little cheeks.

Do kids grow out of this stage, or am I only in for years of potty songs? I do remember the whole:

I'm going to first, and my pants are going to burst diarrhea (ugh, ugh) diarrhea . . . song that my friends and I used to think was first-rate comedy.

Ummmm, yeh. It probably isn't going to get much better anytime soon.

Wedding meme

 

I copied this from Kristine (My Men on the sidebar – posting from email again).  It was fun to read hers, so I’m totally copying it.  I actually copied many of her answers, because our weddings were so similar – including the fact that they were only 2 weeks apart.

1) When was your wedding day? - August 17, 2001

2) What day of the week was it? – Friday

3) Did you get married in a church? - No, we were married in the Salt Lake Temple

4) How many in your wedding party? – I had 3 bridesmaids and he had 3 groomsmen.

5) How many guests were invited to your wedding? – I don’t even remember.  Most of my family was unable to attend the actual wedding inside the temple and so they waited outside (for those of you unfamiliar with LDS customs, only worthy members of the church are allowed in the temple).  The room inside the temple was packed, mostly with my husband’s family.  I think we invited 500 to the reception, but planned for 300.  We started running out of food at the end, but I don’t know what the actual count was.

6) How long did you wait to tie the knot after your proposal? - About 4 months

7) Did you register for gifts? - Yes, we registered at Target and ZCMI.

8) Who did you hire as your photographer & videographer? - Barrus Photography (just like Kristine) did my bridal portraits, wedding pictures, and video.  I wasn’t super impressed with them.  They showed up late and didn’t even get a picture of the entire wedding party.  I did love that they got words of advice from my friends and family in the video, and my kids love watching the “mommy and daddy movie.”

9) Did you have a DJ or a band? – We were supposed to have Ben’s cousin do our music.  He’s a very talented singer/songwriter.  He planned to do it for free as our present, but about a week before the wedding he was offered a paying gig and he totally stood us up.  We ended up with nothing.  I was so bummed too – I really wanted to dance.  I’d even paid for a larger dance floor.

10) Did the father walk the bride down the aisle? – There are no aisles in temple weddings.  But my dad was there, crying like a baby.  I don’t think he ever thought I was going to get married.

11) What color were the bridesmaid dresses & groomsmen vests? – The girls wore purple, mothers wore butter yellow, and the guys wore black tuxedos.

12) Who was the Maid Of Honor? The Best Man? – My sister Jen was my maid of honor (I guess, technically she was a matron of honor) and my husband’s best friend Jon was the best man.  The rest of the line included my (now ex) sister-in-law, and my best friend Joni.  The other 3 guys were his brothers.

13)What were your colors? – purple and butter cream yellow.

14) Did the bride have a bridal shower? – Yes – 4 actually.  I had a family shower, a friend shower, a shower at work, and one from my mom’s friends (they have a tradition of throwing showers for all their friends daughters).

15) What type of limo did you get? – No limo.  We did take a horse-drawn carriage from the reception to the bed and breakfast that we spent our first night in.

16) What type of wedding gown/tux did you two wear? - My dress was a simple, short-sleeved gown with some subtle stitching and beadwork.  I actually didn’t like my dress at all.  I had a totally different one picked out, but my mom liked the one I got much better.  She talked me into getting the one I got instead, but I never really liked it.  I thought it made me look fat.

17) How was the weather? - It was a very hot August day but slightly overcast.

18) Where did you go on your Honeymoon? – We took a Caribbean cruise that left from New Orleans.  We were able to spend an entire day in The Big Easy before the cruise left.  We visited Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel on the cruise.  It was an amazing trip.

19) What was your favorite part of your wedding day? – Our wedding wasn’t until 4pm, so I got up late and was able to have my hair and make up done at the salon.  Our lunch was at noon and was just down the street from the temple so we just walked.  The reception was next door to the temple as well, so we were able to walk there.  It was all very relaxing and easy.

20) How long have you been married? – 7.5 years

21) What was the most memorable "bridezilla" moment? – I was the opposite of bridezilla.  In fact, I was way too passive about the whole thing.  I had never been the type of girl who dreamt about her wedding day, and I had too few opinions about how I wanted stuff. 

22) What was your most memorable wedding-related mental breakdown? – I don’t remember ever having one breakdown.  (again, way too passive about the whole thing)

23) What would you change about your day? – I didn’t eat at my reception (other than a bite of wedding cake) and I was starving by the time we got back to the room.  I also would be much more opinionated.  I really wanted my bridesmaids in black, but my mom said it looked like a funeral.  And I really wanted just red roses, but my mother-in-law convinced me that I should do lots of different flowers.  I also (as stated above) hated my dress, and was really uncomfortable all day.  I don’t even like looking at the pictures.  I wasn’t really upset at the time, but since I’ve had 7 years to think about it I would do things differently and stand up for what I really wanted.  I’m not really upset about it now either, but I do wish I could have changed some things.

 

I also think that I would have tried to have some type of civil ceremony in addition to the temple ceremony so that my family could have been a part of my wedding.  Only my parents and a handful of extended family were able to attend the wedding – the rest waited outside, including all my siblings, their spouses, and my elderly grandparents who had travelled from Maryland.

24) What was your most memorable Wedding moment? – This may sounds funny, but I remember very little from my actual wedding day.  The whole day was like a blur to me.  There are a couple of things that stick out in my mind though:  Our reception was on the top floor of the JSB, overlooking the temple, looking west.  During the reception, there was the most amazing sunset. It was breathtaking.  I also had a lot of friends who live out of state come and surprise me, that I had no idea were going to be there.  It was a great surprise.

 

Oh, and one more thing.  My (soon to be) husband was late to the wedding lunch.  Everyone kept asking where he was, and I was worried he wasn’t going to show up.

Change

It is snowing right now, but over the weekend it was in the 60s and sunny. The air had a definite warmth that held the promise of spring, and my daffodils responded by popping open overnight, all at once. There are now fat little buds on the trees in my yard, that will be open any day. I even ran outside - in just shorts and a short-sleeved shirt - and actually felt warm. I spent most of the weekend outside, and I found myself, more than once, proclaiming that I love spring. And its true - I do love spring. I love the promise that it brings, that my flowers and trees will come to life again. The grass will green up, and it will be warm enough for the girls to ride bikes without coats on.

It may sound funny to hear me admit that I love spring, especially to those of you who remember me declaring my undying love for winter on a few months ago. But it is true. I think that autumn is actually my favorite, but I love all the seasons (for the most part - summer does tend to drag on and on). I think I really just love the change. Maybe I get bored or something, but there is no way I could live somewhere like Phoenix or California where the seasons really don't change that much. I think I'd get bored.

I recently heard (or read) somewhere that the instances of depression are higher in placess where there are not 4 distinct seasons, and I can see how that is true. I'm not saying that I've been depressed, but I've definitely been in a rut over the past few weeks. Just this past weekend, I've felt a renewed energy to get back on a running program, to actually clean my house, to start a financial plan that makes sense in the economy, and to just live better. I like the change, and it feels good.

Blump?

I was recently accused of being in a blump - a blogging slump for those of you not familair with the LINGO. ;)  While I have defintiely not lived up to my blogging and blog stalking responsibilities, I don't know that it really has been a slump.  I actually miss it - especially checking in with all my friends.  In fact, I'm suffering some withdrawls.  Seriously!  But, my internet at work has been down for 2 weeks now, and that is when I do the majority of my stalking.  And posting.  So, I'm far behind and sad.  How are y'all doing anway?  Good I hope.

 

I have been checking in a bit via BlackBerry.  But have you ever tried to do anything other than check the weather and Facebook via handheld?  It pretty much sucks, and makes my thumbs ache.  I'm hoping to get things fixed soon.  But, I know my internet at work really isn't priority #1, and me asking them to fix it so I can get back to blogger really doesn't sound good (I actually use my internet for lots of work related things too, so it does suck).

 

But, other than having another nasty cold, things are good.  I did try running outside on Saturday.  It wasn't very pretty.  My legs felt great, but my lungs burned.  I spent the majority of the 4 miles feeling like I was going to puke or suffocate (or both), and I haven't run since. 

 

I also got G registered for kindergarten.  I can't believe my little girl is going to school!  She seems too little, but I do know that she's totally ready.  We have year-round school where we live, and I wanted to make sure to get our Track request in early, although they claim they don't make assignments on a first come/first serve basis.  It still makes me feel better.

 

And speaking of suckage, this is my post.

Disney World

A few of the 170 pictures I took in Disney:


The princess pictures are terrible - never again will I let my husband be in charge of the camera. I'm just disappointed because we spent so much to eat at the princess lunch.
In line at Toy Story. It was the only ride that had a wait - after about 45 minutes, 3 of the 4 kids had to go potty, so we got out of line to run to the restrooms. We did get back in line too - after jumping in front of about 5 million people. Let me just say how much fun that was (but the Disney employee said it was ok).
Bryn at Minnie's house.

It was really cold there for 1/2 the week - even for us who left snow. We had to go and buy hats, gloves, and warmer jackets. But it did mean fewer crowds.




This was after one of the Sea World shows. Bryn was in heaven because the cute boy star of the show held her on his lap (he was cute).

One of the highlights were the flamingo paddle boats in Sea World.
We also had lunch at the shark restaurant in Sea World. We did try to eat in the condo most meals, and packed lunches almost every day. It was fun to splurge a couple of times though.



Bryn's curls are amazing in the humidity. It almost makes me want to move. Almost.


On the very last day, it finally warmed up. We let the girls put their swim suits on, and we rode the rapids ride in Animal Kingdom over and over and over again. It was fun.