What is it about childbirth that completely destroys your body? I was totally fine before I pushed her out, but now I've got all sorts of problems. The worst one: hemorrhoids. They didn't show up until I acutally gave birth, but it seems now they are here to stay. And that was 9 months ago. I've been too embarassed to go to the butt doctor so I've been suffering. Every time I poop, I cry and bleed. I know I should break down and go to the doctor, but I'm too embarassed. Finally, last weekend I talked to my mom about that. She had the same problem after giving birth and she told me what to do. (Warning: extreme TMI). When in the shower/bath, you soap up your finger and push them back in. Apparently sitting around with your finger up your butt can be productive. It is actually working. Today I didn't bleed at all when I pooped! Yay!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
What is it about sleep?
I swear - the first question that most people ask me when they meet Gracelin is, "Is she a good sleeper?". I always answer affirmatively. Yes! She is a good sleeper. And I feel really proud of that statement. I mean, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old. And she goes to sleep on her own. She still takes 3 daytime naps around 1-2 hours each, and sleeps around 12 hours per night.
We have a very structured bedtime routine. After dinner, she takes a well-deserved bath. Then, she gets a baby lotion massage and her jammies on. I take her into her room and read her a few books. When I notice her rubbing her eyes, we nurse for a few minutes, and then I lay her down in her crib. She'll look up at me and smile, and then drift peacefully off to sleep.
Well - that's how it's happened most nights - until the past week that is. Suddenly my "good little sleeper" has been replaced by devil-child. Nothing has changed with our bedtime routine. She doesn't appear to be sick, and I don't think she's getting any more teeth. But, something is wrong. As soon as I lay her down, instead of "drifting off peacefully to sleep" she wails like a Banshee. I'm not talking about crying - this is full-on ear-pearcing screeching.
I've tried everything to get sleep to happen. I've gone back in and rocked her, I've taken her bottles, I've given her Tylenol. I've even tried to "Ferberize" her, and she calms down when she hears me coming in. But as soon as she knows I'm leaving, her demonic nature returns. I know she's tired because she can barely even keep her eyes open. But, she fights going to sleep.
I'm almost convinced that it is psychological, because she is still sleeping just fine at day care. I think somehow she doesn't want me to leave her for the night, so she thinks that by prolonging things she'll spend more time with me.
Even knowing this, I did the unthinkable last night. I let her cry it out. I made sure her diaper was clean, she wasn't hungry, or in pain (as far as I could tell). And then I left the room. It took over an hour. At first, she wailed like a Banshee. But after a while, she calmed down, and it was more of an intermittant moan. Eventually, sleep won her over. This morning, she was her smiley, happy self, so I know that I didn't scar her for life. In all reality, I'm probably more scarred than her.
I want my "good little sleeper" back.
We have a very structured bedtime routine. After dinner, she takes a well-deserved bath. Then, she gets a baby lotion massage and her jammies on. I take her into her room and read her a few books. When I notice her rubbing her eyes, we nurse for a few minutes, and then I lay her down in her crib. She'll look up at me and smile, and then drift peacefully off to sleep.
Well - that's how it's happened most nights - until the past week that is. Suddenly my "good little sleeper" has been replaced by devil-child. Nothing has changed with our bedtime routine. She doesn't appear to be sick, and I don't think she's getting any more teeth. But, something is wrong. As soon as I lay her down, instead of "drifting off peacefully to sleep" she wails like a Banshee. I'm not talking about crying - this is full-on ear-pearcing screeching.
I've tried everything to get sleep to happen. I've gone back in and rocked her, I've taken her bottles, I've given her Tylenol. I've even tried to "Ferberize" her, and she calms down when she hears me coming in. But as soon as she knows I'm leaving, her demonic nature returns. I know she's tired because she can barely even keep her eyes open. But, she fights going to sleep.
I'm almost convinced that it is psychological, because she is still sleeping just fine at day care. I think somehow she doesn't want me to leave her for the night, so she thinks that by prolonging things she'll spend more time with me.
Even knowing this, I did the unthinkable last night. I let her cry it out. I made sure her diaper was clean, she wasn't hungry, or in pain (as far as I could tell). And then I left the room. It took over an hour. At first, she wailed like a Banshee. But after a while, she calmed down, and it was more of an intermittant moan. Eventually, sleep won her over. This morning, she was her smiley, happy self, so I know that I didn't scar her for life. In all reality, I'm probably more scarred than her.
I want my "good little sleeper" back.
Monday, January 03, 2005
NYE was a bust
The New Year just came and went for me with no fanfare. DH’s cousin plays in a band, and they were performing in a concert for NYE that he wanted to go to. Considering the fact that I could barely breathe as it was (I’m still not better) the last thing that I wanted to do was go and sit in a smoky bar. And because we hadn’t ever finalized any plans, I’d never gotten a baby sitter. So, he went without me. I hung out with my brother, sil, and some other friends. We all had kids, including 2 other babies. We played Trivial Pursuit and then watched Napoleon Dynamite. Someone noticed during the movie that midnight had passed – I didn’t even get a kiss! Its so funny how my life has changed with the baby. I’m so not into dressing up and partying like I once did. I think a lot of it has to do with my chubby mom body. I think I’d feel more like doing that stuff if I looked better.
I did have fun on New Year’s Day. My mom, my sister, and I went shopping to the Factory Stores in Park City. There were so many deals on baby clothes, and the stores weren’t crowded at all. I spent less than $100, and got her about 10 outfits at Baby Gap and Children’s Place. Of course she won’t be wearing most of them until next winter! I suppose it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead.
DH and I have been talking a lot about when to TTC #2. Initially I wanted to start around December/January so that they would be at least 18 months apart. Well – that is NOW! And I have no desire to TTC. G is a great baby, I just feel like she deserves more of my time. I barely have time with her as it is. During the week, I see her for about an hour a day. I don’t want to have to share my time with her and another one. I’d really like to be able to stay home when I have #2, and we still aren’t there yet. Day care for 2 would be over $1,000 a month! That’s more than my house payment! Now, I’m thinking that TTC#2 this time next year is a better plan. That gives me time to work on my weight loss goals as well. I’d like to drop 20 pounds before I get pregnant. Maybe by then DH will have gotten a promotion too.
I’m thinking that weaning is coming soon. She is getting more interested in solids and gets really distracted nursing. Lately, she is too impatient to wait for letdown and I’ve had to resort to bottles of EBM. And, she has started biting. Twice in the past week she has drawn blood. I’m sad to think that my days of nursing may be numbered. I was hoping to go for a year. She is over 8 months old, and I have at least enough of a frozen stash to get me until around the middle of February. I have done great though, and I shouldn’t feel badly about my efforts.
I have another doctor’s appointment for myself this afternoon. I was in last week for a sinus infection and bronchitis, but I’m wondering now if I don’t have pneumonia. I’ve been on the antibiotic for a week and still feel like crap. I just want to rest, but I can’t. I can’t miss work, and when I’m home there’s no chance of relaxing. I’m so behind on my housework and laundry. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I have about 6 loads of clean laundry to put away. I have been putting it into G’s PNP, and it is nearly FULL! DH commented that I have upgraded to the “JUMBO” size laundry basket! LOL
I did have fun on New Year’s Day. My mom, my sister, and I went shopping to the Factory Stores in Park City. There were so many deals on baby clothes, and the stores weren’t crowded at all. I spent less than $100, and got her about 10 outfits at Baby Gap and Children’s Place. Of course she won’t be wearing most of them until next winter! I suppose it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead.
DH and I have been talking a lot about when to TTC #2. Initially I wanted to start around December/January so that they would be at least 18 months apart. Well – that is NOW! And I have no desire to TTC. G is a great baby, I just feel like she deserves more of my time. I barely have time with her as it is. During the week, I see her for about an hour a day. I don’t want to have to share my time with her and another one. I’d really like to be able to stay home when I have #2, and we still aren’t there yet. Day care for 2 would be over $1,000 a month! That’s more than my house payment! Now, I’m thinking that TTC#2 this time next year is a better plan. That gives me time to work on my weight loss goals as well. I’d like to drop 20 pounds before I get pregnant. Maybe by then DH will have gotten a promotion too.
I’m thinking that weaning is coming soon. She is getting more interested in solids and gets really distracted nursing. Lately, she is too impatient to wait for letdown and I’ve had to resort to bottles of EBM. And, she has started biting. Twice in the past week she has drawn blood. I’m sad to think that my days of nursing may be numbered. I was hoping to go for a year. She is over 8 months old, and I have at least enough of a frozen stash to get me until around the middle of February. I have done great though, and I shouldn’t feel badly about my efforts.
I have another doctor’s appointment for myself this afternoon. I was in last week for a sinus infection and bronchitis, but I’m wondering now if I don’t have pneumonia. I’ve been on the antibiotic for a week and still feel like crap. I just want to rest, but I can’t. I can’t miss work, and when I’m home there’s no chance of relaxing. I’m so behind on my housework and laundry. I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I have about 6 loads of clean laundry to put away. I have been putting it into G’s PNP, and it is nearly FULL! DH commented that I have upgraded to the “JUMBO” size laundry basket! LOL
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