Just another day at the office

This morning when G woke up, she asked me what today is - just like she does every day. I told her that it is Tuesday - daycare day - then she proceeded to melt into the floor in a puddle of sobs. She's never behaved this way before, so I was obviously concerned about what brought upon this overly dramatic reaction. I asked her why she didn't want to go to daycare.

Her resonse was priceless. Something like "I got a new teacher Miss A and then H didn't want to play with me 'cause she wanted to play with B instead and when I asked if they would play with me they just said 'na na na na na' and laughed and ran away and so I cried and then I got bit by a dragon on my finger but don't tell anyone because that is our secret"

I was heartbroken. As difficult as leaving my kids in daycare is for me, I've always found solace in the fact that they seemed to enjoy it there. This was the first I'd heard of them not wanting to go - but it did explain why yesterday when I picked the girls up, G had spent the day telling everyone that this was her last day at daycare.

I would have given anything to take the day off, and spend it spoiling my girls. In fact, not to long ago I would have done just that. But given the fact that I've taken 5 days off in the past 2 weeks due to sick children, and that I have a big presentation to prepare, I needed to be at work. Daddy had a job interview too, so he couldn't stay home all day either. The girls needed to go to daycare.

But I made a deal with G: I told her that if she would be a big girl and go to daycare with her sister, I would pick her up when the babies went upstairs at 8:00 am. I told her that Bryn would cry if G wasn't there to make her feel good, so she just needed to wait until Bryn went up to the baby room, and then she could come spend some time with me at my office.

I left the office at exactly 8:00 and was at daycare at 8:04. G was standing at the gate crying for me. I heard her asking why her mommy wasn't there yet. When she saw me, her face lightened up, and she stopped crying. I took her back to work with me, where she sat at the other side of my desk. She drew pictures while I made slides for a presentation. I have 2 waterbottles that I fill up at the cooler every day, and I took her to fill a bottle. One of my coworkers gave her some candy, and she was in heaven.

Here's the happy girl and her candy.
Showing me her red tongue (why do kids love to do this?)
After she was finished drawing, she had to redecorate my office. This is the "shrine" that she organized. I wish the camera picked up her pictures better. She's starting to draw pictures that actually resemble something, and she drew the cutest picture of daddy - complete with his spikey hair.

After about an hour and a half, she was ready to go back to daycare. She happily went in and sat down next to H was they were reading a story. She doesn't know it yet, but after naps, Daddy is coming to pick her up and take her to the park.

**Note in my picture the lovely decor of my office. Yes - I do have my own big office with a desk and a door that shuts. And I have my own big window that looks out to the street right at tire level to all the passing cars. And the carpet is orange. The walls are orange. The wood trim is orange (see the theme). It really is sick in here. But the door shuts.

My own fat march

Ok - I'm not the biggest TV watcher there is - especially cheesy reality shows. But I do DVR some of my favorites and watch them while I'm on the dreadmill (it really helps to pass the time). A few weeks ago, I'd made it through all my cache of shows (summer break I guess) so I was channel surfing. I came across Fat March - I'm not sure why the show caught my eye, but it did. The show is about 12 overweight people who have to walk from Boston to Washington DC - a distance of over 500 miles. Every one of these people was at least 100 pounds overweight at the beginning of the march. Talk about motivation for me while I was running. I immediately set the DVR to record all new episodes.

Last night was the season finale. On one of the last days of the march, they had to walk a marathon - 26.2 miles. Every one of them finished the entire distance, and the fastest woman did it in just over 7 hours. This is a woman who was at least 100 pounds overweight, and she walked a marathon in 7 hours.

What am I worried about?

I have 6 hours to complete the marathon, but I do plan on running a good majority of it. And it really is mostly downhill - see the lovely elevation map:

I'm going to be fine. It was comforting to hear that Rachel (Operation Rosebud) hadn't run more than 14.something prior to hers. I've still yet to run more than 13 miles. This past Saturday I tried to run 15, but I still felt really sick and lethargic. At one point I had to sprint to an appropriately placed restroom, as it was becomming difficult to run with my cheeks squeezed together. I only ended up doing 7 miles - but I did those 7 miles without stopping (unless I count the pit stop and my warm-up/warm-down) and I ran them fairly fast (for me) in just under an hour and a half. I'm not entirely sure, since I've stopped worrying about my time. Right now I just focus on mileage - no matter how long it takes.

I am getting anxious, but I think I'll be just fine. I have been working hard (although I make it sound like I've been a slacker) and I know I'll be proud of myself.

Hair cuts!

So, lately I've let my hair get a bit too long. I really haven't known what to do with it, so I've done nothing. Its gotten really long though - pretty much unmanagable. I think because my mom felt sorry for me (with the whole crappiness of our lives lately) that she suprised me by making an appointment for a hair cut - all expenses paid. On Saturday, I headed over for the appointment. I told the girl that I really didn't even care how she cut it - that I just needed to get some lenght off and to have an "updated" cut that was easy to style. Here's the before pictures (that are crappy because Ben didn't want to get off the couch and miss more of some stupid football game than he had to). See how long it was in the back.
Here's the front picutre - again, just about the more horrible picture of myself that there ever was.
Here's the front view of the after view. She didn't style it at all. I'm sure once I mess around with it and fix it a bit my hair will look so cute.
Here's the back view. She took so much hair off - I think about 9 inches. But I love it. My hair grows so quickly though - it will be long again before I know it.

Gracelin loved my new hair. She told me that I looked prettier than she ever thought I could - she didn't even think I was her mommy. She decided that she wanted to get her hair cut too. She's only ever had one hair cut in her entire life, and that was almost 18 months ago. Her hair was really long and in desperate need of cutting. But, since we're poor right now, and couldn't justify paying for a hair cut, we decided that we'd donate her hair. Great Clips will cut your hair for free if you donate to Locks of Love - but it takes a minimum donation of 10 inches to do that. Gracelin didn't care though - she loved the thought that her hair was going to help a little girl who didn't have any hair of her own.

So, off we went.

Here's the before pics:
And here's the after pics. I really wish I'd taken a camera to the salon, because G was oh-so cute. There was a man in there who was flirting with her, calling her a princess and such, and she was eating it all up. We decided to do a low-maintenance A-line cut, and it really suits her face shape. She's gorgous. After her cut, she had to call Aunt Jen, Grandma and Daddy to tell them she had a secret for them. She wanted to wait and tell them how cute she was, but couldn't help but blurt it out on the phone. She told Grandma that she looked like a 6-year-old!

The front view - so sophisticated!
Here's the back view. She loves how it feels, and keeps touching her hair.
This one is just for cuteness - aren't my girls precious!

I've been tagged - again

Rachel from Operation Rosebud has tagged me in the middle name game.

 

Here's the rules:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.

4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

 

So here's mine:

 

My middle name is Laura

 

L - is for that I love:  my family, my friends, my country

A - is for achievement:  I am an overachiever

U - is for uncomfortable:  I am quite uncomfortable in many social situations.  I tend to become insecure when I'm around lots of people.

R - is for reading:  I love reading, only I don't have much time right now to do it.

A - is for action:  I am the opposite of a "home body".  I love to be on the go all of the time.

 

Ok - now I suppose I have to tag 5 people for the 5 letters in my middle name.  Hmmmm.  I'm feeling the love for my Venus Sisters, so how about Tiburon and Chelsea.  And Kari, you're also tagged because you were the last person to email me.  Kriss, you were the last person to comment in my GB, so you're on the list.  And Kristina, you're also it for no apparent reason. 

 

Have fun girls!

momentary freak-out

So, I just looked at the calendar.  Today is September 6 - exactly one full month away from October 6 - which just so happens to be the day I am running the marathon.

 

Holy crap.

 

My did time fly this summer.  I've been a slacker too.  5 months ago, I sat down and carefully charted out a schedule of runs.  My schedule had 3-4 "short" runs per week, with a long run on the weekend.  I carefully stepped up each week as not to go over 10% distance from the week before.  I also planned to increase for 2 weeks, and then drop back for 1 (kind of a 2 steps forward, 1 step back approach).  My goals were to slowly build on the mileage and to avoid injury.  I spent hours on this chart, and for the first month of training I followed it like it was gospel.

 

And then I promptly forgot it.

 

Since then, I've been great about my short runs.  In fact, I'm averaging about 20 miles per week of running.  My body is in shape - I have lost weight and I'm looking so much better.  But the longest I've run is 13 miles.

 

I have run 13 miles several times, and can comfortably run that distance with no pain and no soreness the following day.  If I was running a half marathon, I'd be set.  Problem is, I'm running 26.2 miles, which by the way, is a hell of a long way.  Drive it in your car if you don't believe me.  Try just walking it.  I guarantee that the average person would have a difficult time even walking 26.2 miles - let alone running that far.  In the mountains.  In the heat.

 

I'm going to die - or embarrass myself.  Or both.  What was I thinking?

 

I'm just telling myself that there is no shame in walking.  I'll just do what I can.  This weekend I'll run 15, and then next weekend I'll do a 20.  After that, my last 2 weeks are taper, so running will be easy those last 2 weeks.  But hey: if I do finish it, I'll be a marathoner.  How cool would that be.

Can I just complain about my crappy life for a minute?

UGH! When it rains, it pours. For the longest time, I've been feeling like my life was going along fairly status quo. Pretty boring and uneventful. I guess everything was waiting to happen to us all at once.

This post is pretty negative - I'll have to warn everyone right up front. The last week of my life has pretty much sucked, but writing about it is cathartic. So I'm feeling compelled to write it all down for posterity. I just don't know where to begin. . .

maybe with my kids. The last entry I wrote was about my poor sick Bryn, who I assumed was suffering from a bad reaction to her vaccination. Well, that changed. After 2 straight weeks of diarrhea, vomiting and high fevers I finally took her to the doctor - who diagnosed her with cryptosporidiosis. From the CDC website:

Cryptosporidiosis is a diarrheal disease caused by microscopic parasites of the genus Cryptosporidium. Once an animal or person is infected, the parasite lives in the intestine and passes in the stool. The parasite is protected by an outer shell that allows it to survive outside the body for long periods of time and makes it very resistant to chlorine- based disinfectants. Both the disease and the parasite are commonly known as "crypto."
Cryptosporidium lives in the intestine of infected humans or animals. Millions of crypto germs can be released in a bowel movement from an infected human or animal. Consequently, Cryptosporidium is found in soil, food, water, or surfaces that have been contaminated with infected human or animal feces. If a person swallows the parasite they become infected.
The most common symptom of cryptosporidiosis is watery diarrhea. Other symptoms include:

• Dehydration
• Weight loss
• Stomach cramps or pain
• Fever
• Nausea
• Vomiting

Some people with crypto will have no symptoms at all. While the small intestine is the site most commonly affected , Cryptosporidium infections could possibly affect other areas of the digestive or the respiratory tract .

There's been such a huge crypto outbreak this year, that all public pools are closed to children under 5 until the end of the summer. I've been home with sick kids for almost 2 full weeks. Gracelin hasn't had it too bad - just the occasional run to the bathroom and a couple of puke sessions. Poor Bryn though has been miserable: multiple messy diapers a day, no appetite, lots of puke, and she's gotten so skinny. Bryn's been a bear too - she's become such a mommy's girl that not even daddy can't help her. She cries almost constantly and wakes multiple times in the night. Last night she cried for almost an hour before she fell asleep, and then was up about 3 times. She hasn't had diarrhea in 3 days, so I took her to daycare today. I HAVE to work (more on that in a minute). She cried and cried when I left her. I actually think I'm going to call in a few minutes and make sure that she is ok. It broke my heart to leave her because she obviously isn't feeling well still.

And of course I got sick too. I've had symptoms more akin to what G's experienced, so its been manageable. But the fever and aches have been enough to make me miserable.

In the midst of all this horrible sickness, Ben lost his job. He'd been working for a real estate investment company. Obviously its not a good time for real estate, and several employees (including Ben) were "let go" last week - with no warning and no severance. (I could type a whole post about how low and dirty I think that is, but I'll refrain) So, the poor guy has been networking his butt off, trying to find something. We're seriously considering having him stay at home with the girls, and do some type of job at nights. I've even found a job that pays almost $2000 a month more than I'm making now. I've got my resume ready, and Ben is going to drop it off for me. I know we'll be ok. After the whole shock and horror of it all, I've had a calm peace about things. But it sure does suck!

Then yesterday I got a call that my 6 year old nephew was in ICU. The poor kid and his brothers have been through so much lately. (I haven't felt right about posting their plight on the web, but its bad) Over the weekend, he had a bad asthma attack that couldn't be controlled at home. So he went to the ER. The medication opened his airways and created something called respiratory mis-match. He went into respiratory arrest and nearly died. If he hadn't already been at the hospital he probably would have died.

Oh - and my mom also dropped the bombshell that she an my dad are talking about getting divorced. My father-in-law has cancer. The grass in my front yard is dying. A huge rock hit my windshield and it needs to be replaced. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I do feel though that we're all going to be ok. The stress is draining me, and I'm exhausted. But I am confident that we'll be ok.

Thanks for letting me complain!

Vaccinations

My intended post today was going to be about my big and bright girl, who turned 18 months old this week. I wanted to talk about how sweet she is,
despite her tantrums,
how smart and grown up she is,
and about her amazing sense of humor. But instead, this post is about something else.

I'll have to admit that up until this weekend I've been 100% pro vaccinations. To me its always been a no-brainer, because the serious illnesses they prevent are definitely worse than the possible side effects from the shots themselves. And for all the many shots my girls have gotten, that has definitely been the case. Never once have they had any adverse reaction, nor even been fussy afterwards. I suppose we've been lucky, because that changed yesterday.

We had Bryn's 18 month well baby checkup. The appointement went well. Her stats were as follows:

Length: 32.75 inches (above 75th percentile)

Weight: 24 pounds 13 ounces (55th percentile)

Head: 47.5 (above 75th percentile)

She is right on track developmentally, and the ped was amazed at how advanced Bryn is verbally. (I've added a cute video clip at the bottom of the post, assuming it works) After the exam came the shot. I've never been to bothered by the shots, and as a result my kids don't seem too upset either. She only needed one this time, the DTaP booster. She's had it 3 other times before, and had no adverse reactions. Naturally I wasn't too worried this time either. The nurse came in with the needle, and I explained to Bryn that she was going to get an "owie". It would be a quick poke - it would hurt and it was ok to cry - but she could squeeze my hands if she needed. But it would be over really quick and afterwards she'd get a bandaid.

The shot was over quickly, and Bryn barely wimpered. She was very proud of the bandaid though, and was happily showing everyone where her "owie" was.

After the appointement, we headed straight over to gymnastics. Usually Bryn loves gymnastics, and happily participates in (almost) everything. But yesterday she cried and just wanted to be held. I wasn't overly concerned. She'd had a tummy bug earlier in the week, and so I assumed she still wasn't feeling better. I tried to get her to participate, but after realizing she was in no mood, I just held her for the remainder of the class.

She ate a good lunch and was very tired, so I put her right down for nap. She even took a nice long nap, but when she woke up something was wrong. When I went to get her she had goosebumps and was shivering. And the poor girl just wanted to be cuddled. I held her as she moaned "why, why, why". It would have been cute if it hadn't been so pathetic. I decided to give her some Motrin, and after a few minutes she seemed better. She even ate a good dinner, but she was still very tired, so she went to bath and bed right after we ate.

About 11:30pm, she woke me up screaming. I went to get her, and she was burning up. I took her temp in the ear, and it was 104.9. So, again I gave her motrin and also tylenol (G tends to spike fevers, and I've found the best way to combat them is by giving a dose of both meds). We rocked in the chair in her room to wait for the meds to work. As we sat and rocked, I heard her tummy making strange noises. I should have taken her to the bathroom then, but I decided it was nothing. How wrong I was. She literally exploded - there was undigested grapes and spinach everywhere. So gross. I had to strip both of us down, and clean the carpet.

After the puke episode, I pulled out the literature from the doctor to see if it gave any suggestions on dealing with her. It did say that 1 child in 50 could experience vomiting and 1 child in 16,000 could experience fevers of 105 or greater. Great. Leave it up to my child to be one of the rare ones. But there were no suggestions on how to treat her, other than to take her to see a doctor. And since it was after midnight, I didn't feel like driving 20 miles to the nearest ER to wait 1/2 the night for them to treat her just as I had been.

So we waited for the fever to go down - but it never did. After about an hour, I assumed she'd thrown up all the medicine. I gave her a second dose, and the fever started dropping. She fell asleep in my arms, and I put her back to bed. She woke just one more time, about an hour later. She was drenched in sweat, but she felt cool.

All day today she's run a fever of around 100.9, as long as I've kept the medincine in her. Without it, she's up around 104. Poor girl is so sweet though. Ben and G went to a water park today without us, and I spent the day cuddling and loving her.

Its been rough though, and I can't help but feel a bit guilty. I feel like she's sick in part because I allowed the vaccination. Rationally I know that the vaccinations are needed. But its hard to watch her feeling so horrible. I don’t know that I’m anti vax now – in fact I know that I’m not. I definitely plan to continue getting my girls’ shots on schedule. There are far too many worse complications were they to get sick. But I am going to be more cautious from now on. My doctor’s office also suggested that I contact the health department to file a Vaccine Adverse Event Report, because the CDC likes to keep track of statistics. She does need one more booster in this series too, and I’m definitely going to talk with my doctor about the possibility that she could get even sicker next time. I am grateful that she didn't have a more serious reaction, and that she'll be ok.

Working mommies need love too

Has anyone ever read my blog and found it strange that my blog title alludes to the fact that I work full-time outside of the home, yet I rarely talk about work. I suppose that my intention has always been to talk about work - in fact I mostly blog from work. But work is boring - plain and simple. Despite the fact that I work with big-name developers, world-renowned starchitects, and even find myself (mis)quoted in the paper on occasion, my two beautiful girls are way more interesting to spend my precious blogging time talking about. And I like them more.

It is a difficult thing though, to balance being a career woman and a mommy. Especially to be good at both. Most days, I find myself being rather mediocre at both as I struggle to find the balance. If anyone out there has found a way to be a good mommy and career woman, please pass along the secret. Because I surely don't know what it is.

This week has been especially difficult. On Monday night, Bryn had the early signs of a stomach bug. By Tuesday morning, she'd had several yucky diapers and was acting grumpy. I knew she felt sick, but I had a busy day at work and I felt like I needed to be there. So, I took her sick to daycare. She lasted through lunch time, but by about 1:00 daycare called. We stayed home the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday. I ended up missing 2 important meetings, a community open house, and a big press release about an exciting new project. Instead, I stayed home to change yucky diapers and hold my grumpy girl while we watched princess movies. Through it all, I felt like I was where I should be - but all day yesterday, I couldn't shake that guilty feeling that I was letting my coworkers down.

Some days I long to stay at home. I feel like I'm missing out on so much of my little girls' lives. They repeat words that I've never said to them, and know things that I've never taught them. It is difficult not to feel a little guilty that I work. It seems that society still tends to look down upon working mommies. Most of my friends and neighbors are stay at home moms, and sometimes I feel left out. I don't get to go to play groups during the day or to meet up at the park with other moms. But when I really think about it, working keeps me sane. Besides, I don't really have the option or choice to stay home. At least right now.

Its really not all bad though. I do like my job (most days) and like feeling like I'm making a financial contribution to the family. Besides,
the girls love their teachers and friends at daycare, and are both very social. I think that daycare is good for them because it gives them the chance to be around so many different people. They really do get bored with me when we stay home. All day yesterday, G kept asking if we could go somewhere - anywhere out of the house. They are learning good things at daycare too. G is in a preschool program there, and is learning things like Spanish and sign language. She also knows what letter each of her friends' names start with.

I do think that I'm doing the best that I can. I am providing financial stability and insurance benefits to our family that we wouldn't have otherwise. My girls also see the example of a strong and intelligent woman. And I think that I'm still a great mommy. I only work 4 days a week, so on Friday its girls' day. We have a pancake breakfast, go to gymnastics, read lots of stories, and have fun. Every single day, we eat dinner as a family, and then spend time together in the evenings. On the weekends, we always do an outing with Daddy. So, I still spend lots of quality time with my girls, and they know that they're loved. I hug and tickle them every day, and tell them I love them before bed.

Being a mom is difficult, whether its a stay at home mommy or one who works. We all have our challenges and issues that we have to learn to deal with. I've made the decision to work, and I feel its what is best for our family right now.

Explaining life to a 3 year old

Gracelin is very curious.  This weekend while shopping, I got her a tee shirt at Old Navy that simply says down the front:

 

Why

Why

Why

 

When I saw that shirt, I had to buy it.  Its her to a "T" (pun intended).  She is so curious and is constantly asking questions.  I have to remind myself that being curious is a sign of intelligence, lest her constant barrage of questions would drive me batty.

 

Sometimes the questions can get pretty difficult to answer.  I don't ever want to lie to her, but sometimes a 3 year old doesn't need to know the whole answer.  For example, just last night she was playing in a drawer in my bathroom while I ran the girls' bath, and she pulled out a box of panty liners.  Before I could stop her, she had one out of the box, and was saying something to me about wishing she had a really big "ouchie" so she could use the giant bandaid she was holding.

 

I said to her that it is not a bandaid.  And then she wanted to know what it was.  I explained to her that it was a special thing called a panty liner that mommies sometimes needed to use.  I'm not sure what she thought it was after that, but luckily it stopped the questions - for a few minutes.

 

After bath, we were wrestling on the bed.  I hadn't shaved in a few days, and somehow while we were playing, she noticed.  Then she wanted to know why I had prickly black hairs in my armpit.  I told her that is what happens to girls when they get ready to be mommies - to which she responded by saying "oh, kinda like when they get boobies too?"

 

I said yes, and she seemed satisfied.  Then she started talking about what it will be like when she has a baby in her tummy.  She's such a funny girl.

Weaning Brynlee

I know some of you probably read my blog title for today and cringed, and I can't say that I'd entirely blame you. She is after all 18 months old - today in fact. And up until this weekend I have breast fed her every single day of her life. I've been meaning to cut the strings for awhile now. It really bothers Ben that she's still a boobie baby, and honestly, I have been a bit embarrassed to admit it to others as well. She is a toddler - who only runs where she is going and can speak in full (albeit rudimentary) sentences. Really, she only has been nursing twice a day - once in the morning and once at night. But I figured that 18 months is long enough.

So, I decided to do it cold turkey. Since I'd be away from her a full 48 hours this weekend, I figured it was a good way to cut all ties. She didn't seem to miss it while I was gone. She slept just fine for my mom, and only even cried for me once apparently.

On Sunday when we picked her up, she was so clingy. I couldn't even leave her sight long enough to go to the bathroom. She wanted mommy. On the way home from G'ma's, Bryn fell asleep in the car. I took her to bed when we made it home, and she took a 4 hour nap. When she woke up, I took her to the living room, and while sitting on the couch she asked to nurse. She tugged at my shirt, and when I told her it was all gone, I almost cried. Bryn did cry. It hurt her feelings. It made me so sad, because I wanted nothing more than to let her nurse. But Ben got her a cup of milk from the fridge, and she got over it quickly. All day though, she was obsessed with my boobs. She kept feeling me up, and putting toys down the front of my shirt. I think she had her hand down there 100 times during the afternoon. Poor girl had a one-track mind.

I had Ben put her to sleep last night, and she went right out. In fact, he said that while reading her second book, she pushed him away and asked to go to sleep. Silly girl. She didn't miss me at all.

This morning Ben got her out of bed and ready for daycare. Our typical routine is for Ben to get her ready and then I nurse her. So, when Daddy brought her out, she wanted to come to me and nurse. She tugged at my shirt and looked up at me with her big, sweet eyes. I again told her it was all gone and got her a sippy of milk. This time there were no tears.

My poor boobs hurt. I would love to nurse her at least one more time just to make the pain go away. But I think that would just make the weaning process more difficult. I think its more traumatic for me than it is for her. I've been pregnant or breast-feeding (or both) since August 2003 - 4 full years without a day's break. I miss it. And right now, Bryn is so busy and active. I know I'm going to miss the 2 times a day that I would get her to cuddle and snuggle with mommy.

I think back to when I was pregnant with Gracelin, and not even sure I was going to try to breast feed her. I knew I'd be going back to work full-time, and I didn't think it was feasible to be a full-time working mommy who breast feeds her children. Looking back now, I have 2 beautiful girls who were 99% breast feed, and I'm so proud that I had the opportunity to nurse them both for so long. It was difficult at times - especially G who drank exclusively pumped breast milk for over 4 months. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

A day in the life

Ok - since I've been gone all weekend, I've finally had time to post my day in the life from Friday, as resquested from Tiburn ( http://utahtib.blogspot.com/2007/08/day-in-life.html ). This particular Friday also happened to be my 6th wedding anniversary, so it was a bit atypical. But, here goes. I started the day by sleeping in - all the way until 7am - when I was woken up by Gracelin. I usually try to get up and run before the girls wake, but since it was my anniversary I slept in. Friday is also my weigh-in for the Biggest Loser, so I made us a big breakfast of hash browns and pancakes. Carb loading - its my reward for being good all week.
Bryn thoroughly enjoyed her breakfast (of course she rarely meets a breakfast that she doesn't love). After breakfast, G wanted to do mani/pedis. She loves to have her nails done. Today she wanted her toes alternating with blue and pink, and her hands with red and silver. It didn't match very well, but she thought that she was gorgeous.

Then it was time to go outside for a bit of yard work. After the big flashflood 2 weeks ago, I was worried about my rock wall. So, we planted 3 flats of groundcover - in July. I have to water it every single day. Its starting to grow though. Maybe next year it will be filled in.
Friday is also gymnastics day. The girls love it - its definitely a highlight of the week. And don't they look so cute in their leotards. Gymnastics was great - Bryn is getting the hang of things. She loves to swing from the bar, and can lift her legs up and swing - all the while syaing "whee". She also loves the trampoline. G is really coordinanted, and also loves the bar and trampoline. The best part of gynmastics is that the girls come home super tired. After lunch, both girls sacked out. In fact, G only ate 2 bites of lunch before she was asking for sleep.
The best part of long naps, is that it gives me a time to get things done. I did 3 loads of laundry and packed for the weekend. I also cooked dinner (baked tortillini, bread, and ceasar salad) for a neighbor who just had a baby. After naps and packing, we dropped the girls at grandma's and Ben and I went up to Midway for our anniversary weekend. Midway is the cutest little town, originally settled by the Swiss, and the architecture still reflects it. After we checked in, we went into Park City for a bit of shopping at the outlets, and a delicious dinner at Loco Lizard. I totally cheated on my diet, and enjoyed every second of it.

It was a great day!

I got tagged

I've been tagged by Chelsea, so I suppose I'm it!

 

Jobs I've had:
-picking raspberries at some farm where there were lots of chiggers

-babysitting

-McDonald's worker

-Sylvan Learning Center

-Red Giraffe Video

-Youthland Academy

-McDonald's again

-MTC cafeteria - started in the dish room, worked up to lunch supervisor

-Marketing Ally - started as a phone grunt, worked my way up to supervisor and quality control auditor

-Planning intern with Provo City

-Planner with Lehi City

Movies I never get sick of:
-Dumb and Dumber (on my list too Chelsea)

-Pretty Woman

-Gladiator

-The War

-Barbie as Rapunzel

Places I've called home:
-Hammond, Indiana

-Bettendorf, Iowa

-Sandy,  Utah

-Villa Hills, Kentucky

-Fairfield, Ohio

-Provo, Utah

-Sandy, Utah

-Salt Lake City, Utah

-Sandy, Utah another time

-Lehi, Utah

-Sandy again

-Herriman, Utah

Favorite TV shows:
-CSI

-Lost
-The Office

-Man Vs. Wild

-Men in Trees

-Forensic files

-SYTYCD

-The Soup

(sounds like I'm a couch potato.  I DVR shows and watch them while I run)

Favorite Vacation Spots:
-Alaska

-Grand Cayman

-Moab

-Yellowstone

Favorite Websites:
-Olive Branch Baby

-Venus Sisterhood

-TLOL

-Blogspot.com

-Coolrunning.com

-craigslist

Places I'd rather be:
-the treadmill

-the day spa

 

Now, I'm tagging:

 

Kristina

Rachel

Megan

Kari

Feeling unmotivated

First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for their great comments.  We did come to a decision.  On Tuesday, we went to IKEA as a family and got G her new bed.  (mommy put it together all by herself last night while daddy was at softball)  Then, Ben went and got the coveted xBox 360.  He did however sell off 4 of his other game systems that just sit unused all of the time.

 

Anyway - back to the topic of the day:  my motivation level.

 

I've really been dragging the past couple of weeks, and my running has suffered.  I feel like I'm practically dragging myself to the treadmill.  My legs feel like lead and I just don't want to run.  I've started cheating a bit on my long runs too, which is the worst thing I could do.  Its one thing to cheat on a short run, and only do 2.5 when I've got 3 on the schedule.  But to only run 10 when I've got 14 to run is a big difference.

 

I haven't had as much energy either, and I think I'm walking more than I should.  But I just can't seem to make myself get back into LOVING running like I have been.

 

Its enough that I'm questioning the marathon.  I know that I'm going to barely finish.  In fact, 6 hours is my goal.  I'll probably embarrass myself by coming in last place or something horrid like that. 

 

{UGH}

 

What the heck is wrong with me?  And how do I get my motivation back?

Money is not the key to happiness

Ok readers.  I need some advice.  So many of you have been wonderful in the past to offer me words of wisdom.  I'm asking for you to please send me a comment telling me what you would do if you got $500 that you weren't expecting.

 

Here's why I'm asking:

 

Ben spent all day on Saturday working for his grandma.  It was backbreaking labor (literally) and he spent almost 12 hours clearing out the dead trees around her mountain cabin.  As payment, she gave him $500.  And since our budget is tight right now, its been months since we've had any sort of money to spend on fun things.  The money is literally burning a hole in Ben's pocket.  Although he earned the money, he wants to spend it in a way that the whole family can enjoy.

 

Yesterday, he kept asking me what he should spend it on.  My immediate reaction was that he should buy a road bike.  He's been wanting one for months.  Recently, my brother offered to sell his to Ben for the price of $500.  That seemed like the most likely way to spend it - like it was meant to be.  But Ben doesn't want to spend it all on himself.  So, I offered some other suggestions, such as:

 

a)  put it in our money-market account and save for a rainy day

b)  make an extra large mortgage payment

c)  buy light fixtures for the basement we've been trying to finish for months

d)  go golfing

e)  buy some new clothes

 

He didn't like any of my suggestions.  He asked what I would spend it on (not counting boring ways like paying bills or saving it).  I told him that I would buy Gracelin a bed (right now she sleeps on just a mattress).  So, that is now what he wants to buy.  Only now I feel badly - that was my "dream" scenario - not what I really think the money should be spent on.  Ben's dream is an xBox 360.

 

Needless to say, we've reached a stalemate.  In fact, our debate got quite heated last night.  I really wish he'd just do whatever he wants with the money, but somehow I have to be involved in the decision.  So, that is why I am asking for help.  Please take a second and post where you would spend an extra $500 that you weren't expecting.  Give me some great ideas!  Thanks in advance!

It is true what they say about redheads

What a "fun" weekend we've had with my sweet little Bryn. Notice that I put "fun" in quotes. Well, that is because its been an interesting weekend with my little girl. She's become quite assertive in expressing her strong will. At even the slightest inkling that she's about to not get her way, she dissolves into a fit of rage and fury that you'd have to see to believe. She's not afraid to assert her will by kicking, screaming, holding her breath until she's blue, biting, and making herself vomit - if she thinks that it will help her to ultimately get her way.

It came as quite a shock to me. G has never had a temper - she's been the easiest-going girl there is. I think she's had maybe 2 tantrums ever - and those could be chalked up to her being tired and/or hungry. I just don't know how to deal with this.

Yesterday I caught her playing in the water. She'd moved G's potty stool over to the sink, climbed up, and was sitting at the sink. When she saw me, she proudly exclaimed "hands!" and showed me that she was washing her hands. I helped her finish, dried things up, and lifted her down - which pissed her off. She flopped herself onto the floor and starting crying, and screaming, and wailing, and rolling around on the floor like she was dying a terrible, painful death.

I tried to reason with her, and quickly saw that she was in no mood to reason. So I picked her up to carry her to her room. On the way there, she arched her back, pinched my cheeks, pulled my hair, and tried to head-butt me. She was doing anything she could to express to me that she was unhappy with the situation - and read that message loud and clear - literally. I laid her on a blanket on the floor of her room (I don't want her to associate her crib with negative feelings, so I avoid it as a punishment). I again tried to calm her on the floor. She briefly settled as I wiped her face, but she started screaming. G came in, as did Ben. All three of us tried to cajole her by patting her back, singing songs, etc. She simply rolled under her crib, and pulled down the ruffle so she was hidden.

So, we left the room.

She continued screaming for about 10 minutes, but then eventually she came down the hall carrying her blanket. I picked her up, and she buried her face into me. She cuddled for a very long time, and the was perfectly fine the rest of the day.

I just don't know what to do with my baby. She's barely 18 months old - what will this be like when she's in the "terrible two's"? I may just have to sell her to the gypsies.

Sleep glorious sleep

Last night Ben went wakeboarding with friends after work, so I was on dinner/bath/bed duty with the kids alone.  No biggie.  The night went smoothly.  We had maccaroni and cheese and pancakes for dinner - a luxury we only get when its just mommy (because I have to watch the kids and cook.  I know some mommies do both, but not me.  I always have help with either the kids or the meal.)  Then we headed off to the bath to wash the syrup and cheese off of faces and hands.

 

Bryn easily went to bed after the bath and G and I headed to her room.  She has a pretty specific bedtime ritual.  It starts out with a cold drink and a story from a book.  Then, its lights out for a story from momma's head.  The improv story is always tricky - G gives me a scenario and I have to tell her all about it.  Last night she wanted a story about a girl and a baby who were camping and they got scared when they heard an animal in the woods.  So I told her a story about a family that went camping.  They left their teenage daughter back at the tent to care for the baby while they went on a hike.  She heard noises in the woods that scared her, because she worried it may be an animal.  But it turned out the noises she heard were really just mommy coming back to check on them.  (I have to try and minimize the scariness).  Luckily this lame story satisfied her, and it was time to move onto the "goosebump" stage of the bedtime ritual.

 

G loves her back scratched.  The light tickles give her goosebumps, and she's not satisfied until she has them.  But once she does, its time for closed eyes and no talking.  This is the part of bedtime that I like the best, as she's usually asleep quickly.  And because she's still afraid of the monsters in her closet, I usually stay until she's asleep.

 

Only last night, I also fell asleep.  It was only about 8 pm, and I was out cold.  Completely asleep.  And since Ben was gone, there was no one to wake me.  I slept through my run, and I didn't get the yard watering and laundry done that I'd planned on.  I was even still in my work clothes.  I woke up around 3 am, and just went to my own bed.

 

Other than that, no one woke up.  Not one child cried in the night for a drink.  No dogs barking woke me.  I even slept through Ben's snoring and weird sleep noises.

 

I got 9 full hours of sleep.  I can't remember the last time I slept that much - probably back to when G was a baby.  Its been years.  And it felt great.  I'm actually awake at my desk this morning.

 

I love my kids, but I have definitely sacrificed sleep to be their mommy.  Last night was such a blissful reminder of what an actual full night of sleep feels like.  And it was great.

Gracelin's first dance class

Yesterday was Gracelin's first dance class. She's 3, and already the dance world is political. She's been asking for months to take a dance class, and I've been trying to find a class that she can take - since I work until 6pm that can be a bit tricky. Finally last week, I found a class that starts at 6, which means I have to leave work a bit early. But I can manage it. And, as an added bonus, the class is really close to our house. But, I really want her in the 6-7 pm class, and in order to get her into that class she has to go for a month to a 5-6 pm class instead. So, for the next month, I need to leave work 2 hours early on Mondays to get her to dance class on time - which I think I can swing. (every time I consider getting a new job, I think about how flexible this one is and I just cannot do it)

Yesterday we showed up a little early to register her for class. Gracelin was so excited that she ran over and was peeking into the windows as I got Bryn out of the car. Inside was a bit strange - there was a small waiting room with lots of cubbies, and then 3 locked doors. I could hear that dance classes were going on inside, but the doors were totally locked. I did think that was strange, but the other mother there waiting didn't seem to mind to I dismissed it. Pretty quickly, the small waiting room filled up with mothers and cute little girls in pink tutus. G was the only girl in black, and she looked adorable.

Finally, the doors opened, and a group of teenage girls came out. It was finally time for G's class to begin. She eagerly ran in, and didn't look back. I was worried she'd be a bit scared, since they don't let the moms in to watch, but she didn't even care. Poor Bryn wanted to dance too. She kept saying "I dance, I dance" and when she realized that only G got to go, she laid on the floor, arched her back, and wailed. It would have been really funny if it hadn't been so pathetic.

Since I couldn't go in and watch, Bryn and I walked next door to the library. She had fun there with just mommy. There was another mom there too with a girl in G's dance class, and we chatted a bit. Unfortunately Bryn got antsy quick. She's become quite a handful. My theory is that she is so smart that she gets bored quickly. And she is smart. 2 nights ago when Ben was bathing her, he got her out of the tub. Immediately she squatted and pooped on the floor. She stood up, said "scusey" (excuse me) and walked away - but I digress - that is a story for another post.

Finally, the hour was up. Bryn and I walked back to the studio, and peeked in at the dance class. G was sitting on the floor in a circle with the other kids, who all seemed to be paying attention. G however, was spinning on the floor, pulling off her skirt, and sticking out her tongue. Then she saw me watching, so she got up and ran over to the window. I ducked away, because I really wanted her to pay attention. We waited a few more minutes until the other parents were going in.

We got there as the girls were getting lollipops for being good dancers. Again Bryn started crying "I dance, I dance" and then she say the candy - and chaos ensued. She got so pissed of that she couldn't have a lollipop. She held her breath until she turned purple, and then wailed and wailed. She cried all the way to the car. She arched her back when I tried to strap her in. She almost puked on herself when I went to strap G in. It was the worst tantrum she's ever had, and so embarrassing. I think next week I'm going to bring her a sucker to eat while G has hers.

And through all of this, I felt sorry for G. I just wanted to hear from her how dance class went. By the time Bryn calmed down all I could get out of G was that she didn't do anything, didn't get to spin, and she learned nothing.

{{SIGH}}

We are sticking with this for a few more weeks. I want her to give it a fair chance. But if she really is bored and not liking it, then maybe I can get her into soccer. She loves her gymnastics class, and it is very high energy.

Making friends

I was invited to a baby shower for my neighbor. The shower was mid-morning on Saturday at house just 4 doors down from mine. Gracelin was so excited to go to the shower - I think she thought a baby would be there. She even wanted to go to the store with me and pick out a gift.

So, the girls and I headed to the shower. I recognized most of the women there, as they were all from the neighborhood. But, I barely knew any of their names. I found a chair and sat down while the girls went to play with the other kids there. I tried striking a conversation up with the lady sitting next to me, but she was very unfriendly. So, I sat there and talked to no one. I was feeling very uncomfortable sitting by myself, so I got up and walked over to the refreshments. I tried to strike up a conversation with another lady standing by the punch bowl. I said to her, "I don't think I've met you before. What is your name?" She did tell me her name, but then walked away. I felt like I was being snubbed.

I didn't stay much longer. I waited for my neighbor to open her gift, and then I gathered up my kids to leave. As I was headed out the door, another neighbor in our same cul-de-sac asked if G wanted to go over and play with her daughter. They have played together a few times before, and G loves her. At least there was one kind person there who left me with a renewed hope that not everyone in my neighborhood is a total bee-otch.

We've lived in our house for about a year and a half. Most of my neighbors also go to my same church, so there have been ample opportunities for me to get to know them. But I really feel like some sort of outcast. I'm not sure if I really am being snubbed for some reason, or if I'm just reading into things that aren't there.

I know that I haven't been the friendliest person. I'm the only mom who works outside of the home, and I know that makes it difficult. They have play dates during the week, and obviously I cannot go to those. And by the time we get home from work/daycare the girls are starving, as its after 6 pm. So, we eat, bath and put the kids into bed (they get up at 6am, so we have an early bedtime). There really isn't time for us to go out and play during the week. And while I'm not shy, I'm really not outgoing either. It usually takes me a while to really open up to people. Perhaps my quiet demeanor is taken for snobbery?

The baby shower isn't the only instance where I've felt snubbed - there are so many instances. For example, 3 other women on my cul-de-sac are runners - I've seen them out running and they've seen me. I have even asked them if they wanted another running partner, and they won't take me up on it.

I've never had a difficult time making friends an any other aspect of my life. Even back to high school. Growing up I was never one of the most "popular" kids, but I always had a good group of friends and was very social. In college, I had many good friends and dated frequently. As a married woman, I still have lots of friends that I've met in my old neighborhoods, church, work, and even the internet.

I just don't know what it is about my particular neighborhood right now. It is bad enough that I have considered moving. We're not moving, but I'd love to find a way to make some friends in my neighborhood.

My feet don't feel so fleet

I'm signed up to run a 1/2 marathon next weekend, and I'm getting a bit worried. I've been having some problems with my left foot lately. I'd doesn't bother me very much - just after I've been running outside for a few miles. It started happening after I got my new Asics - I'd been ok in my cheap Nike shoes that I buy from Famous Footwear. But all I've read on cool*runnings has led me to believe that I needed to be fitted for running shoes - so to Fleet Feet I went.

I found out that I need neutral shoes, and that I have high arches. So, I was fitted with orthodics as well. I tried running in the orthodics. I went twice outside and twice on the dreadmill for a total of about 15 miles. Those dang orthodics never felt good - my feet ached. I took them back to the store, but the problems never went away.

After about 2-3 miles, I start getting a pain in the ball of my foot by my toes. It feels like there is a large pebble or marble in my shoe. The pain then radiates into my toes, and they start to feel numb. I have noticed that if I change my gait and try to run more on the outside of my foot that the pain lessens.

Luckily, my foot feels great the rest of the time. Only when I wear one pair of shoes (that I love because they're so cute - see pic below) do I have any pain at all. And I don't wear them much, so it isn't a big deal.

a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v365/chutch1/Picture.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

Oh - and isn't the carpet in my office lovely? LOL

Anyway - I've been thinking that my pain if from my shoes. I never thought that it could be anything else. But yesterday, I was surfing the forums at my favorite site, cool*runnings, and I found a thread about Morton's Neuroma.

A google search turned up this:

A neuroma is a noncancerous (benign) growth of nerve tissue that can develop in various parts of your body. Morton's neuroma occurs in a nerve in your foot, often between your third and fourth toes. The condition isn't a true tumor, but instead involves a thickening of the tissue around one of the digital nerves leading to your toes. Morton's neuroma causes a sharp, burning pain in the ball of your foot. Your toes also may sting, burn or feel numb if you have Morton's neuroma.

Also called plantar neuroma or intermetatarsal neuroma, Morton's neuroma may occur in response to irritation, injury or pressure - such as from wearing tightfitting shoes. But Morton's neuroma may also occur for unknown reasons.

Treatments for Morton's neuroma commonly involve changing footwear, resting your foot, and using arch supports or pads to help take pressure off the area. In some cases, your doctor may recommend anti-inflammatory drugs, a cortisone injection or even surgery if you have Morton's neuroma

I'm now convinced that is what I have. I don't want to go to the doctor though, because I know the first thing I'll have to do is stop running. And I don't want to stop. But I do want to run without pain. So, I suppose I don't know what to do.

If anyone has advice/experience with a neuroma, please advise. I'd love to hear stories!

Stolen blog post - please read

I copied this from http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/

We hear a lot about breast cancer these days. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes, and there are millions living with it in the U.S. today alone. But did you know that there is more than one type of breast cancer?

I didn't. I thought that breast cancer was all the same. I figured that if I did my monthly breast self-exams, and found no lump, I'd be fine.

Oops. It turns out that you don't have to have a lump to have breast cancer. Six weeks ago, I went to my OB/GYN because my breast felt funny. It was red, hot, inflamed, and the skin looked.funny. But there was no lump, so I wasn't worried. I should have been. After a round of antibiotics didn't clear up the inflammation, my doctor sent me to a breast specialist and did a skin punch biopsy. That test showed that I have inflammatory breast cancer, a very aggressive cancer that can be deadly.

Inflammatory breast cancer is often misdiagnosed as mastitis because many doctors have never seen it before and consider it rare. "Rare" or not, there are over 100,000 women in the U.S. with this cancer right now; only half will survive five years. Please call your OB/GYN if you experience several of the following symptoms in your breast, or any unusual changes: redness, rapid increase in size of one breast, persistent itching of breast or nipple, thickening of breast tissue, stabbing pain, soreness, swelling under the arm, dimpling or ridging (for example, when you take your bra off, the bra marks stay - for a while), flattening or retracting of the nipple, or a texture that looks or feels like an orange (called peau d'orange). Ask if your GYN is familiar with inflammatory breast cancer, and tell her that you're concerned and want to come in to rule it out.

There is more than one kind of breast cancer. Inflammatory breast cancer is the most aggressive form of breast cancer out there, and early detection is critical. It's not usually detected by mammogram. It does not usually present with a lump. It may be overlooked with all of the changes that our breasts undergo during the years when we're pregnant and/or nursing our little ones. It's important not to miss this one.

Inflammatory breast cancer is detected by women and their doctors who notice a change in one of their breasts. If you notice a change, call your doctor today. Tell her about it. Tell her that you have a friend with this disease, and it's trying to kill her. Now you know what I wish I had known before six weeks ago.

You don't have to have a lump to have breast cancer

Why I'm weird and just a little bit crazy

I like hard work.  I know I'm strange - but I love putting my all into something, and reaping the benefits.  Maybe that is why I'm such an exercise junkie.  I love feeling like I totally pushed myself - getting all tired and sweaty - and then taking a shower.  And to me, there is nothing more exciting than feeling myself get stronger and fitter every day.

 

I remember a few months ago, my sister and I went to the gym.  My goal that day was to run a mile on the treadmill, which I did, but I was sore and miserable for about a week afterwards.  Now running a mile on the treadmill is just a warm up.

 

So far this month, I have run 72 miles.  I'm so proud of myself.  Since today is the last day of the month, I plan to run tonight, so my total will be up to 75 miles this month.  My goal for next month is 90 miles.  I think I'm addicted - not so much to the running itself (because frankly, quite often it hurts while I'm doing it) but definitely to the "runner's high" afterwards.  Its such an amazing feeling to have completed a long run feeling strong.  And, I'm so proud of myself for avoiding injury thus far.

 

I do think that my ice baths help to keep me from injury.  After my long runs, I sit in the bathtub and run the coldest water possible.  Once the water has barely reached the top of my thighs, I dump in all the ice from my ice maker.  Then, I sit and shiver as the ice melts.  I probably spend about 20 minutes total in the ice water.  I know I sound crazy, but it really keeps me feeling good.  After the runs where I ice bath, I'm rarely even sore or stiff the next morning, whereas when I skip the ice bath I's usually sorry.

 

So, ya.  I am weird and probably more than a little bit crazy.  But at least my obsession is healthy and good for me.  Maybe one day I'll even have a runner's body.

My first 10k

Its been almost a full week since I ran my first 10k, and I'm only now finding time to write about it. And I really should be working, but I'm finding a real lack of motivation right now. So, here's the story:

My brother and I signed up to run the Deseret News 10k together. The race was held on Tuesday July 24, which is Pioneer Day - the day that Brigham Young walked into the Salt Lake Valley and declared "this is the place", and thus began the habitation of this great state.

The race began at 6 am, in attempt to combat the heat. But even at 6 am it wasn't very cool outside. It began in an area called Research Park, and the route started out downhill and ran downtown. The last 2 miles or so were along the parade route, and the race ended up in Liberty Park.

I was a bit nervous. I've run several 5ks, but nothing longer. A 10k is 6.2 miles, so I knew it would be a bit of a test for me. I still haven't been running that long.

We lined up about mid-pack, and waited for the start. My brother and I chatted with a veteran runner. She was so nice, and told us how she and her hubby are running a marathon in every state. She has run St George, and it was fun to hear her words of wisdom. She was interested in our iPod arm bands, and I thought how funny it was that we each were experts in something.

Finally the race started, and I was grateful the race was chip timed because it took almost a minute to cross the start line. My brother was gone in the first few seconds, and I never saw him again. Immediately the race started downhill, and I found myself struggling to hold my pace. The force of running downhill combined with the excitement of the race made me want to push it. But I knew that I needed to save something for the end.

The first 2 miles of the race went very quick. I had forgotten my heart rate monitor, which also has a timer and I regretted it. I really think I set a PR for the first 2 miles. I would love to know my time. After about 2 miles, the course leveled off a bit and even went uphill for about 1/4 a mile. I started to feel a bit thirsty and I hoped for an aid station.

I didn't pass the first aid station until after mile 3. By then I was very thirsty. I drank a water and gatorade, and walked about a block to let my stomach settle.

At this point, the course turned southward onto the parade route. Again I found myself running downhill. I probably ran this part too quickly, but it was so exciting to have the spectators along the route. Some of them were uninterested in us runners. But others had signs, were shouting words of encouragement, and some were even giving hi-fives. At the bottom of the hill, I had to walk a couple of blocks, and of course that is where I saw a friend. He shouted "hi" to me, and I wished I looked more like a runner and less like a tired walker at that point. I started running again.

While I was walking, I got passed by a man who appeared to be in his mid 70s. He was wearing a shirt that said "running behind Opa". I thought he was really cool. Unfortunately, I don't remember if or when I passed him. I'm not sure which of us finished first.

The race course turned again with about ? mile to go. I had kind of been leapfrogging with a man and a girl. We kept shouting encouragement to each other, and noting that this seemed like the longest part of the race. I hadn't taken anything to refuel, and I felt tired. Finally I saw the finish line. I really wanted to sprint to the finish, but all I could manage was a strong jog. I felt good though. There were several vomit puddles at the finish line, and I was grateful that none were mine.

I crossed at around 1:16-ish. Results weren't published until the next day, but my official chip time was 1:15:07. Not a fast time by any means, but I was very pleased with myself. It was such a fun race and I'm definitely running it again next year.

3 year old wisdom

In effort to become a better blogger (I've sucked at it lately, truth be told) I've decided to update a bit on my kiddos. Starting with Gracelin. She's so funny lately, and I really don't want to forget anything about her. So, this post is dedicated to her and her 3 year old mind. Just as a warning: it may be a bit fragmented and disjointed. So please bear with me.

The other day, G told me the difference between mommies and daddies: daddies have hair on their tummies and mommies do not. I had a good, hard laugh at that one.

After helping me upload the pictures from our cabin trip this weekend onto my lap top, G announced that "I looked really good in that outfit". I think she's becoming a diva!

She has become the girl of one million questions. I'm not exaggerating that fact either. She loves to ask questions about anything and everything. The other night, an exasperated Daddy asked her why she has so many questions. Her response: I'm just a talker! She sure is.

Gracelin loves to comb my hair, and she is gentle enough that it feels really good. So, she does my hair a lot. The other day while doing my hair, she proclaimed that I was looking so pretty, that Daddy was going to come home and kiss me and want to make a baby boy with me. G really wants a brother, and takes every opportunity to remind me.

She also follows me around, everywhere I go throughout the house. Yesterday as I was hurriedly trying to get stuff together to get out the door, she was constantly at my heels. I think I tripped over her 6 or 8 times. I didn't say anything to her, but she could tell I was frustrated. We got into the car, and she said to me: When I have a little girl, I'm going to let her follow me around, because I will love her. It made me feel really sad to hear that - I love her too. I guess I need to work on patience.

G is such a good sister. She loves Bryn so much, and is very kind and gentle with her. I love watching them together, as Bryn loves her sister just as much. G is always hold Bryn's hand, and helping her out. She will softly touch her face, and tell her: "I love you my little chubby", which is a bit funny, as Bryn is not that much littler than G. But it is so cute and sweet.

I can't ever stay upset with G. Her kindness and sweet personality is too overpowering. And she feels so bad when I'm upset that she does everything she can to fix things. She is such an obedient and well-mannered child (she won't even eat without a napkin). I am blessed to be her mommy.

Weekend at the cabin

We just got back from an overnight trip to the cabin owned by my husband's family. Its a fun cabin located right on a ski run at Brighton Ski resort. Its only about 45 minutes from our house, but far enough away to feel like a vacation. The cabin is in the trees, and it was wonderfully cool up there - a nice break from the heat wave we've been experiencing. The girls had a blast! We took G on a night hike, and I was so proud of her. She hiked almost the entire 2 mile uphill by herself. She faded at the end. Finally, just a few minutes from the lake we were hiking to, she told me that she needed to close her eyes, so we carried her the rest of the way. But I was very proud of her toughness - it wasn't an easy hike.
It was so beautiful up there, and the wildflowers were in full bloom. Hiking under the ski lift though made me excited for ski season.
This picutre is the girls with my mom. They love being outdoors, and couldn't wait to go play in the meadow with all of the flowers.
My ILs lived in Switzerland for awhile, and MIL has painted part of the cabin to look just like a Swiss one.
We had a blast watching the humming birds - there were several buzzing and swooping around on the porch. I was suprised how aggressive there were. I think they were mad at us for invading their territory, and several times I felt like we were being dive bombed.

It was a great weekend!

Happy Birthday America

We spent the night at my parents' house, because we had plans to get up early and go to a breakfast in the canyon. But, I had to get up early and run. My parents' neighborhood is really hilly, and I was a bit nervous to be running in their neighborhood. I got up at 5am - it was still nice and cool. I ended up having a great run - I didn't want to go too far, since I had a busy day ahead. I just ran 2.2, but it was one of the best runs I've ever had. I loved running those hills. At one point I ran past one of those stop signs that tell you your speed, and it told me that I was running 6 miles per hour. I thought that was pretty cool.

I got the rest of the family up at 6:30, so we could be in the canyon early. G donned her "Happy Birthday America" tee and Bryn a patriotic jumper. They were so cute! Last year we had gotten there late, and we stood in line forever. It was still nice and cool, and the lines were short. We got the most amazing pancake breakfast, and the girls got balloons (which was probably the best part for them).

We ate breakfast, and then took a short hike around the lake. Gracelin walked the entire way, and Bryn made it most of the way. They loved it - especially Bryn who wanted so badly to get right into the water. We spent a long time just throwing rocks into the water.

After the hike, it was time for the "parade". Anyone who wants to be a part of the parade can put streamers on their vehicle and drive around. Its fun for the kids though. They throw candy and beads (G flashed them and got a whole handfull of beads). My kids got more candy than Halloween (I'm not sure what we're going to do with all of that candy either - we still have Halloween candy at our house, and Easter candy . . .)

Then we headed back down the canyon. The girls were exhausted, so after a sandwich we took a nap at my parents' house. Well - everyone else napped while I made potato salad. At 5pm (4 hours later) the girls and daddy were still sleeping. I had to wake them all up so we could head for our dinner at D & A's. The girls had so much fun there with cousins - it was chaotic. At one point, Bryn disappeared. We all spent about 5 minutes freaking out, before we realized she had disappeared into the bathroom to play in the toilet. Dinner was fantastic, but the kids were getting so tired. I felt like the mean mommy, but we left before fireworks began. We all had to be up by 6am the next day, and I needed to let the girls get some sleep.

5k Race Report

I ran in a local 5k on Saturday. I work as a City Planner in an adjacent town, and it was their celebration. As you can see from the picture, my mom participated with me. We got to the race only a few minutes before it started - its nice when the race starts and finishes from the same location. I woke up that morning coughing and wheezing - there was a bad wild fire in the mountains outside my house, and I think I'm allergic to the smoke. I actually took my daughter's breathing treatments before the race so I could breathe.

The race began at 7am, and it was already hot. We lined up in the road, where someone had painted "start" onto the asphalt. It was a smallish race - less than 300 people - and not as well organzied as the other races I've run. We crossed several intersections, and only one or 2 in the entire race were there police there to help with traffic. In fact, there were times that cars actually drove right next to me. I was also suprised that the first part of the race was a steady incline, as I was expecting a flat race. I actually would have prefered more hills, as I think I would have run it better. But, I ran the first mile in just over 10 minutes, which is a fairly good pace. I was having a difficult time pacing myself because I'd forgotten my iPod, and I use that to pace myself. I still felt like I was doing fairly well.

Then, at mile 2, the course turned eastward - right into the blazing sun. It was hot, and I faded fast. And a young girl (maybe 8 or 9) who was runing with her dad right in front of me, fell and skinned her knees badly. She was so tough though, she got right up and kept running. I'm not sure how quickly I ran my other 2 splits in, because I never saw the mile 2 marker. I was so thirsty, but there were no aid stations to be found. Finally, at what I'm thinking must have been around 2 1/2 miles, they had an aid station. That water tasted so good.

I tried to pick up the pace a bit, but the heat was really taking its toll. About this time, I really thought I was going to puke on the side of the road. But, I was so close, and I willed myself not to. Finally I rounded the corner to the finish line, which was on the other side of the building where we started (we ran a loop around downtown). Seeing the finish line helped me get my second wind, and at least I finished strong. But my time was 34:30, which is really quite pathetic and discouraging.

We did have fun the rest of the day. Ben and the girls met me at the finish line, and we headed over to a breakfast in the park. The girls played at the park and had fun at the petting zoo, until we had to get Gracelin dressed and onto her float for the parade.