Swimming on my lunch break

I have a wonderful aquatic center across the street from work, and since I've been looking for another non-running activity to do, I decided to go swimming on my lunch break today.  I usually just eat lunch at my desk, which means I don't end up even having a break.  So, I figured I could have a break.  I even went a few days ago and got a new swimming suit.  I found the perfect (modest) black Speedo at Ross Dress for Less of all places - and it was only $16.  What a bargain.

 

So, dressed in my brand new swimming suit (which I have yet to look at myself in the mirror and see how it fits) I jumped into the pool.  I decided to have no expectations for myself.  I haven't swam in years - really since college.  So, I figured I'd just see where I was.  Growing up, I was a swimmer.  I think I've talked about how very un-athletic I was (asthma and bad knees).  But one thing I could do was swim.  I never joined the swim team or anything like that.  But I did take swim classes, even in college.  And I'd go to the pool and swim laps just for fun.  In fact, I've always thought I was one of the best swimmers that I know - maybe not speed-wise, but definitely endurance-wise.

 

Anyway . . . back to today.  Immediately I remembered how much I love the pool, and as I set into a rhythm, I had an epiphany of sorts:  while I'm getting to the point where I can actually run a decent distance without sucking wind, I don't enjoy running.  I've been doing it to get in shape, hoping one day I will grow to love it.  But I do enjoy swimming.  I enjoy the way it forces my breathing and body into a rhythm.  I love the calm and serenity of the water.  And I love how it makes me feel - refreshed and invigorated, without the punishment that running seems to cause.

 

I swam in 3 (down and back) lap intervals:  a freestyle lap, breast stroke lap, and side stroke lap (down on the left side, back on the right side).  I alternated my intervals a few times, and didn't even realize until I looked at the clock that I had gone a full 20 minutes.  My pace wasn't super speedy, although I was faster than either of the men on the lanes next to me.  It felt amazing, but I had to stop and get back to work.  And the entire rest of the day, I've felt really good.  I may not even mind having to work late tonight (we've got a killer planning commission agenda).

End of the 21 day goal

I wanted to update all day yesterday, but I never go the chance.  My 21-day sugar fast ended on Sunday.  And I made it.  I only cheated one time - when I accidentally ate a Life Saver that G gave me.  Really that shouldn't count.  And I did actually eat dessert to celebrate the end.  I had a small piece of Angel Food Cake covered in fresh strawberries - with a dollop of whipped cream (or whoop cream as G calls it).   Mmmmm.  It was yummy.

 

I'm going to continue to limit my sugar intake; however I will allow myself the occasional splurge for special occasions.

 

I didn't lose a single pound during that 21 days.  But, I no longer have sugar cravings.  Its out of my system, and that was my true goal (although the loss of a pound or two would have been an added bonus).

 

So, yesterday was the beginning of a new 21 day goal, and I've been contemplating for a few days what my new goal should be.   I've been toying with the idea that it should be to give up my diet pop addiction.  I LOVE me some diet coke, diet dr pepper, diet mtn dew, etc.  You get the picture.  I have one when I wake up, and usually another by 9am or so.  Then, more at lunch, another during the afternoon, maybe some with dinner, and even more before bed.  I do drink water too - I shoot for 64 ounces and usually make it.  And I do pee lots and lots.  I'm sure most who know me think I have bladder problems because I pee so much.

 

There is no question that I'm addicted to caffeine, and I'm sure the addiction itself is a bad thing.  And I do try and eat so heathy - mostly organic, no processed foods, etc.  I'm limiting chemicals and unnatural food processes in the rest of my diet - its a bit of an oxymoron that I drink so much diet pop.  And I'm sure the artificial sweeteners are pickling my brain.  But its so damn good.  I feel as though I've cut out so much more from my diet, that I deserve at least one guilty pleasure.

 

{{SIGH}}

 

I've decided that I am going to try and limit my consumption, but I'm not ready to cut it out completely.  Yesterday I only drank 2, and I felt ok.  I know that cold-turkey would give me a terrible headache, and probably make me an extremely difficult person to be around for a few days.  Maybe that can be my next 21 day goal.

For now, my goal is going to be to do one item of housework a day.  I know that doesn't sound like an uber-lofty goal, but some days after an early morning run, 11 hours of work, 2 hours of commuting, and getting the kids in bed, I'm exhausted.  Things tend to build up - especially laundry.  So, last night I did 3 loads of laundry.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I had forgotten how easy it is to put away just one load of laundry (usually I'm putting away several).

 

So - there it is.  My new 21-day goal.  Housework.  Wish me luck.

Zion trip

(Having picture issues again - forgive the out of orderness) Gracelin loved the cairns. I can see why - the do seem strange and almost magical. For those of you who don't know, a cairn (pronounced karen, like the girl's name) are used in hiking to mark the way along a trail - especially in an area where the trail isn't necessarily evident. Like in a redrock area. This is a cairn that G built herself, and was extremely proud of.

My annual spring conference for work was held in Springdale this year - just outside of Zion National Park. We saw this as the perfect opportunity to take a mini-vacation with the family. It was a quick trip - only 2 nights in the hotel. But the drive is only about 200 miles, so it was do-able - even with the little monsters . . . er, kids. We even managed to fit a hike in to the Emerald Pools. We packed the girls into their packs, and headed out. I felt I huge difference in my fitness level even from where I was last week. We passed several groups of people - but no one passed us. And we were quite the sensation with our packs. It was a good feeling to pass groups of huffing and puffing people, all while carrying 30 pounds of kids on our back. I will have to admit that part of what kept me going at my fast pace, was the fact that Bryn would cry if I stopped. That girls loves constant motion. I was a bit disappointed in the pools this year though. It seems that the drought was really affecting the water levels. But it was still wonderful.

I did start to have some foot pain on the way down. Ben had forgotten his shoes, so we were forced to buy him a pair of shoes in town before our hike. The salesman convinced him to try a pair of Keens. He was very happy with his purchase. So, after our Emerald Pools hike, I convinced Ben that I needed a pair as well, along with some new support socks. I love them - they are so comfortable. I took a short hike with G the next day, and my feet felt wonderful. My plantar fascitis didn't hurt at all. I'm thinking I may start running in them :)
Gracelin got a hiking hat, that she refused to take off for the first day and half. I'm not sure why I like this picture - I think the cheesy dinosaur looks out of place. But G loved it. How many girls do you see hugging dinosaurs?
The kids had a blast down there. There is something so spiritual about the red rock cliffs. On the way down the canyon, G noted that the mountains appeared to have been "glued together and then painted". She's right - the landscape is simply amazing. There was a park next to the city building, where my conference was located. The kids spent lots of time playing there.

At our hotel, there was a short hike (about 15 minutes) that circled up to a knoll. At the top, was an amazing vista. G hiked up there twice. She's a tough little girl, and she was proud of herself for making it to the top. Bryn cried a lot of the time she was being carried - I finally figured out on our last day, that she was sad because she wanted to be walking too. That girl is all about motion.

Not all mornings are good

I actually went to bed at 9:30 pm last night, and Bryn slept through, with no night wakings.  That meant I got almost 7 full hours of uninterrupted sleep.  I should have felt good and rested - right?  Then why do I feel so horrible?

My run this morning was utter crap.  I actually started out feeling strong, but after about 7 minutes I started feeling really light-headed and sick.  So, I walked 2 minutes and then tried to run again.  I only made it about 2 minutes again before I started feeling pretty sick.  So, I would walk a bit, run a bit.  I did manage to do 2.12 miles in 30 minutes, so all was not lost.  And I do know that there are going to be bad runs occasionally.  It just sucked.  I entered my info into the nifty tracking software at CoolRunnings.com, and my pace was slower than it has been for 3 weeks. 

 

Oh - and I've gained 2 pounds since Monday.

 

Then, on the way to work, I started getting a migraine aura.  It was dark and rainy, so the glare from the lights was bad.  Between that and the flashing, I'm lucky we made it safely.  Usually I can avoid a headache if I can take some meds right when the aura starts, but since I didn't have anything in the car, I had a headache before I even got to work.  So, here I sit, trying to function.  I have a 4 hour meeting that starts in an hour.  I have to be better - I'm taking the minutes.  This is my second migraine in the past 2 weeks - I wonder what has been causing them.  They are definitely increasing in frequency, and its affecting my ability to function on the days I get them.  Strangely too, I seem to get them from looking at bright lights.  Does that even make sense?

 

Poor Bryn's not doing well either.  She's got a terrible stuffy nose and cough.  I can tell she feels utterly miserable, yet there's nothing I can do for her.  Her fever is finally gone though, so I don't think she's got an infection anywhere.  I have been debating taking her to the doctor today, as we're leaving in the morning for a long weekend trip down south.  I really want her to feel better for our trip.  If not, it may end up not being so fun.

 

Sorry I sound like such a bitch today.  I wish I could just go back to bed.

Oh so tired

I'm really dragging this morning.  I took some allergy medicine last night (still can't believe I need it so soon this year) and it really knocked me out.  It normally doesn't hit me this badly, but I'm in such a sleep deficit that its like the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

Bryn refuses to sleep through the night.  It's been so long since she has slept all night, that her nightwakings are a habit now I think.  But, this week she's been really sick, so she's had even more.  Last night she was up 3 times.  At least she just nursed and went back to sleep in the night, but its enough to make for a very tired mommy.  I'm really ready to wean her, but as long as I can nurse her back to sleep in the night I don't want to.

 

I don't know why she needs it so much in the night.  For naps, I just lay her down to sleep and she stays.  And even at bedtime, I do nurse her, but then we read stories and lay down, so she goes down awake then too.  I know she CAN sleep without being nursed.  There's just something about nights for her.  I'd so love to wean, but for now I can't.  Not until she starts sleeping all night.

 

I'm really thinking though that I need to wean so that I can start to lose some weight.  I've been working so hard at it, and the scale just won't budge.  I fluctuate between the same 4 pounds - I have for weeks.  And it just isn't fair.  I eat better than anyone I know.  I'm on day 16 of my sugar fast, and I've done extraordinarily well.  I only cheated one - I accidentally ate a Life Saver that G gave me.  I'm not sure that even counts.  But beyond that, I eat so well - whole grains, nothing processed, no white anything (bread, rice, etc).  I keep between 1500-1800 calories a day.

 

And my workouts are going great.  I'm on week 6 of the c25k plan.  This week I'm doing 25 minute runs - which do wind me, but I can complete them.  I feel great afterwards, and I'm starting to miss exercising on my off days.  In fact, I'm considering finding another exercise to throw into the mix on my rest days - perhaps riding my mountain bike or even weight training.  I'm thinking at a minimum I should be more faithful about situps and pushups - I need to find something to help tone my flabby upper body.

 

It seems like I have the perfect recipe for weight loss.  And I do feel great (if I wasn't so dang tired all of the time).  But I want to look as good as I feel.  I'm thinking that maybe I won't see a significant difference until I do wean Bryn.  I have been pregnant or breast-feeding (or both) since Summer 2003.  That's almost 4 years that my body has been helping to support another person.  Maybe its afraid to let go of any additional weight?  For now, that's the theory I'm going on.

Battlecreek Falls

(For some reason, I can't get the pictures to load correctly)

We took our first hike of the season on Saturday. It was such a beautiful spring day - low 70s and not a cloud in the sky - the type of day just begging you to go outside. And we were very anxious to try out our new Kelty Adventurer packs. So - we decided to give Battlecreek Falls a try. Its only about a mile up a narrow canyon, and while its a steady climb, its not too strenuous. We figured it was a perfect way to break in the new packs.

It actually only took us 15 minutes to reach the falls. Along the way we passed a small cave, that was very interesting to G. We let her out of the pack to explore. The falls themselves were really pretty, but a little drab since none of the trees were out yet. We need to go back in a couple of months when things are green. I'll bet it will be very enchanting then. Even so, Gracelin loved walking down to the bottom of the falls with Daddy. I stayed up on the trail with Bryn - it was a bit chilly down by the water and I didn't want to get her wet and cold.

Gracelin LOVED being in the pack. Poor Bryn didn't love it so much. She was fine as long as I was moving, but as soon as we stopped, she'd cry. It really wasn't fair of us to take her out - she'd had a fever all weekend and a bad cough. In fact, I took her temperature after her nap, and she was 105. Poor girl was probably just miserable. I hope we didn't ruin her forever on hiking.

I felt really out of shape too - its amazing what an extra 30 pounds will do to you. I was so winded, and I broke a sweat. And still today, my back and calves are feeling it. It was supposed to be a rest day from running, but I feel more worked over than I do after a run.

I did it!

I just completed w5d3 on the c25k running plan. For those of you not familar with the plan, this is a full 25 minute run with no walking. I'd been feel lots of anxiety about this day - mainly because, from here on out, the plan calls for straight running, with no breaks for walking in the middle. Its a huge milestone, and I'd been looking to that day with some dread.

Although today is my day off, and I have all weekend, I got up at 5:30 to run. I was worried that if I didn't get it in this morning, it would be a struggle to find time. We're finishing our basement, and the HVAC contractor will be there all day. I really didn't want to have to try and run down stairs while he's working. And I have a Passion Party tonight. I wanted to try and run today too, as tomorrow Ben and I have plans to strap the kids into our Kely Adventurer packs and find a non-snowy trail somewhere. And I want fresh legs for that.

So, anyway, I got up at 5:30 am on my day off to run. Overall, I felt really good. Towards the end, I had to drop down to a 4.5 on the treadmill, which to "barely running". But, I ran the whole thing. About 20 seconds from the end, I think that I maybe threw up in my mouth a little bit - and I counted-down those last few second. But I did it. I immediately felt an overwealming sense of accomplishment. It was a really great feeling.

This may sound strange to say, but I miss running on my off days. I know that the program is pretty clear about having rest days, but I'm starting to think that maybe I could at least get up and walk on my off days. I think if I walked at an incline it would be non-boring enough to make me want to continue. And it would be good training for hiking season that is fast approaching.

I found the coolest running log, appropriately at CoolRunning.com. Its also the webpage that has the c25k plan. I had just never bothered to check it out - I've been logging all my stuff just on a hand-written chart. But yesterday, I entered all my info since I started 5 weeks ago. Its the neatest thing - it keeps track of lots of different information, and then you can create custom graphs to track improvement. Although it doens't feel like I've progressed much, I made a graph yesterday that shows I've shaved almost a minute off of my mph pace since starting. Thats great progress! I highly suggest checking it out. You can even keep track of non-running exercise activities - and you can classify them however you want, and only graph certain activities. I love maps, charts, graphs, etc - this is the perfect thing for me! I'm such a geek.

Totally random things

Thanks for all the concern for Gracelin.  Overall, she is doing much better.  She is still so pale and skinny (she's not eating much).  And she's got big purple circles under her eyes.  But I think she's probably just wiped out from her traumatic weekend.  She hasn't lost her sweetness.

 

Anyway . . .now to my real blog post of the day.  I'm going to talk about yesterday.  Yesterday was the strangest day.  Have you ever had a day where things were almost surreal?  Well, that was yesterday for me.  So weird. 

 

First of all, let me tell you about what happened on my lunch break.  I was in line for a salad at my favorite lunch place. It is a very busy place at lunch, and I'd been in line about 15 minutes. I was next to order, behind a group of 3 women, all around 50-ish. Right as they were about to order, one of the women PEED HER PANTS. She was a very thin and stylish woman, but she was wearing tight khaki pants, and it was very noticeable what had happened.  I felt so badly for her.  But, here's the weird part - she still made her order, waited in line for her food, and carried the tray of food to the table for her and her friends. OMG! I think I blushed for her - meanwhile, she appeared undaunted. I just about died!

The rest of the day went fairly routine.  But, on the way to pick the girls up from DC, I saw an old man on a bike get hit by a car.  He was on a big tricycle-looking bike thing.  I saw him start to cross the road, and almost in slow-motion, saw that he was about to get hit by a car.  I tried to shout out - like I would have done any good - but it was so frustrating to sit there and watch it happen.  I felt so helpless.  But, after it was over, my rusty EMT training kicked right in.  I jumped out of the car and ran to the scene.  I was the only witness and had unfortunately forgotten my cell phone.  The man in the car who had hit the biker was shaken up, but he let me use his cell phone to call 911.  The poor man who had been hit was very disoriented, but seemed ok otherwise.  He kept trying to get up off of the ground, and was very upset that his bike tire was broken.  We were only 2 blocks from the fire station, and they responded quickly.  Luckily the man was ok, and even refused transport. I was amazed that my rusty EMT skills kicked automatically.  And, I was really proud at my ability to be a good witness. But what a day.

 

What a week.  I'm ready to go back to my boring life.

 

Oh - and I may as well update on my running.  Today was the first day that I didn't complete the requirements.  I have kind of been struggling this week with the time change - my body still thinks I'm getting up at 3:30 am (as if 4:30 am is much better).  But about 5 minutes into my run I started having abdominal cramping.  I went upstairs to use the restroom, but by the time I got up there I felt better.  So, I went back down to finish my run.  But, about 4 minutes from the end, I had to walk for one minute.  I know that doesn't sound horrible, but its enough to make me feel like I need to repeat this week.  So, I probably will.  At least I'm trying, right?

Weekend from HELL

Thursday when I picked up G from DC she seemed just fine, but by the time we got home she was burning up with a fever. In fact, she escalated so quickly that I had Ben take her to InstaCare. I was very unimpressed with their level of care - they sent her home telling us she had a virus (never mind the fact that she had no cold/flu symptoms). She had a difficult time falling asleep, so I laid down with her.  About midnight,  she sat straight up, pointed to the window, and whispered "mommy, do you see that?"  Of course I didn't see anything - but she protested that there were alligators trying to come in her window.  She started getting hysterical, and they puked all over her bed.  I took her to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and I took her temp - it was 105.  We had a very long night. She kept thinking there were monsters in her room trying to get her.  Finally about 6am she was delirious, and saying things that didn't even make sense.  She was talking in a weird gibberish-alien language. I took her temp again and it was over 106 on Mortin and Tylenol.

I kind of freaked out a bit - isn't that the level where a fever can "fry your brain?" So, I got the kids packed up and I took her to the ER. They got us back almost immediately.  Since she had no cold/flu symptoms, the doctor initially thought UTI. In order to get a  clean sample, they had to put a catheter in while she was fully awake.  Poor girl screamed and cried - her tummy muscles were flexing so badly.  We waited over 45 minutes for the results.  Finally the doctor came in and told us the urine was clean, and he wanted to do blood tests and a chest x-ray. Poor girl did not handle those well at all.

 

The worst part of the day though was that we were across the hall from the main trauma room, and we could see and/or hear everything. They wheeled an old man in from the ambulance who looked like hamburger. Turns out he had been run over by a semi truck (see article). He was alive when they brought him in, and we basically heard him die. After he died, they wheeled him into the hallway in plain sight of us. His obviously dead body was barely covered by a sheet, and G kept asking my why the poor man had a sheet on his face. He was replaced by a combative man who'd been in a gang fight. He screamed and shouted obscenities for 90 minutes while being restrained by about 6 police officers.

We ended up spending over 6 hours in the ER.  Turns out, G has pneumonia, which is so weird because she doesn't even have a cough, and has been healthy for about a month. They gave her antibiotics at the hospital and sent us home. On the way back from the hospital, we stopped off at my ILs house to pick up Bryn (who had so kindly taken Bryn to their house). While we were there, someone broke into the neighbor's house across the street. The mom had just taken the kids to the park for about an hour, and came home to find their house ransacked. The thieves must have been watching the house for awhile, because in a few minutes they were successful in stealing a ton of stuff - in broad daylight. So scary!

Anyway - back home G wasn't any better. Her fever spiked at home again, and got up to 107. It really scared me. She was already hopped up on Motrin and Tylenol, so I put her into a cool bath. But, her fever was still 107.1, so I called her doctor, who told me to get medical care immediately. SO, we hustled back to InstaCare. I don't think anyone believed me that it was that high, and they treated me like I was an idiot. She was "only" 105 by the time we got there, and they told me to go home - that they couldn't do anything else for her that I hadn't already done. So, we took her back home, where her fever did drop to about 102-03. She actually slept all night, and woke up happy.

 

She's feeling better, but still sick.  She look so pale and sick.  She's not eating very much and seems to get tired easily.  I did take her to daycare for ? day today, but we're following up at 2pm with her regular ped.  I hope this is the end of our sickies for awhile.  Its supposed to be in the 60s all week.  I'm ready for some warm.

All this happened on the same day as my oldest nephew's birthday, so we called that night to wish him a good day. When we called, we found out that he had gotten beat up by his mom the day before his birthday - bad. Then she locked him in the garage where he bled all over. She finally let him in the house, but not before making him clean up his own blood. He called his dad (my brother) to get him. He's called DCFS and his attorney has filed papers to give emergency custody to my brother. They're also filing criminal charges to my ex-SIL on child abuse and neglect. Just the instance a couple of weeks ago where the 6-year-old almost died is probably enough to get full custody to my brother. And, the icing on the cake was that she didn't even buy him a birthday present.  What an evil woman.

 

In the midst of all this, I did manage to get my run in on Friday and this morning (even though today it was like getting up at 3:30am because of day light savings time)  UGH. 

Wednesday = hump day

Get your minds out of the gutters people.  I'm not talking about *THAT*.  Wednesday is the middle of the week:  after today, its all downhill.  For me, this not only applies to the work week.  My couch to 5k running plan is only a 3 day workout.  After Wednesday's workout, I only have one more for the week.

 

Good thing too!  Today just about killed me off.  I'm not sure why either.  I woke up with a terribly sore throat (you know the kind where you can barely swallow your own saliva without cringing?) so maybe I'm getting sick or something.  At any rate, I could barely finish.  By the end of my second running block I nearly died.  I had to cut back to 4.5 mph, which is barely running.  But, technically, I finished.  My last run for the week is a full 20 minute run without stopping.  Its been a long time - years - since I've run a full 20 minutes at once.  Maybe Friday's workout will kill me.  I need to remember though that my focus right now is time.  Not speed.  Not distance.  So I suppose if I have to run at a 4.5 mph pace (which really is BARELY running) at least I AM running.  Right?  And if I do have to repeat a week, so be it.  At least I'm trying.

While I'm here, I'll update on my sugar fast.  Day 3 and I still haven't cheated.  I almost caved last night.  After a particularly stressful day and a bad migraine, my hubby asked me to meet him at Chili's for dinner.  I just had a salad, but he wanted dessert:  Chocolate Molten Cake.  Chocolate is practically medicine for a hormonal, stressed-out woman.  It took all my will power to watch him eat it.  I went home and had ? cup of my no sugar added ice cream (only 120 calories).  So, 3 days down, 17 to go!

Still going strong

My run kicked my butt today. Every week the workout changes. This morning I did:

5 minute warm-up walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk
3 minute run
1.5 minute walk
5 minute run
2.5 minute walk
3 minute run
1.5 minute run
5 minute run
1 minute walk

I run at a 5.0 mph pace and walk at a 3.0 mph pace. I know it doesn't sound like the most strenuous workout, but for some reason it really kicked my butt today. After I was done, I sat down at my computer to check my progress and see what my Wednesday workout will be (since I know this week is the first week where each day the workout is different). I saw that I'd really messed up. What I was supposed to do is:

5 minute warm up walk
5 minute run
3 minute walk
5 minute run
3 minute walk
5 minute run

Its only 6 minutes less running than I did, but that extra time really kicked my butt. Wednesday I step up to 8 minutes at a time. It should be a piece of cake after doing my extra credit.

I am trying hard not to become discouraged. I know I said that I'm focusing on my fitness level, not what the scale says. And I've even been good about not weighing myself constantly. In fact, it had been 2 weeks since I've been on the scale. So, I got on this morning, and expected to see myself down a pound or too. To my horror, I saw that I've gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks!!!! Ok - so I know that muscle weighs more than fat. And I am on my period. And my clothes are fitting better, so I should let that be my guide. But I'm still discouraged.

I need to probably work harder on my diet. I've been letting myself cheat a bit more lately, because I'm working out. But, I need to be more diligent. I've decided to do another sugar fast. My neighbor was talking to me about goals the other day. He said that every 21 days he sets a goal for himself. That sounds like a pretty good idea, so I'm going to try it too. My goal for this 21 days is:

I'm not going to eat any refined sugars. No treats. No candy. I'm seriously addicted to sugar, so its going to be difficult. But I can do it. I'm also not going to weigh myself until the 21 days are over.

Wish me luck!

Latest development in my exercise plan . . .

We got a treadmill!  I'm really excited about it too.  We've been wanting to get one for awhile now, but I get serious anxiety about spending that amount of money.  But, we saw one at Costco a few days ago that was a really good deal and it met all of our specifications.  When I say "our" specifications, I mean Ben's specifications of course.  LOL  He needs one that can handle a larger weight limit with at least 3.0 hp.  This one met those requirements, as well has having a built-in flat screen TV and fan.  Whoo hoo (note EXTREME sarcasm - are we so lazy that the only way we can exercise is with a TV in our face?)  Anyway . . . we didn't buy the treadmill the day we saw it.  Instead we went home, tried to find it on epinions.com and consumer reports, but with no luck.  I just did a Google search for the model, and found some mixed reviews.  But still, the price was almost 75% off, so Ben went back to Costco to b uy it.  When he got there though, he found the units had all sold in 3 days and there were none to be found.  Dejected, he decided to come home empty-handed.  But then, almost like a miracle, a store worker emerged from the depths of the storage room with one more.

 

After quite a struggle bringing the 400+ pound beast into our basement, its all set up.  I ran on it yesterday morning, and I really like it.  Its so nice to not have to venture outside at 4:30 am - especially on days like yesterday when there was a couple of inches of fresh snow.

 

I have still been 100% faithful with my workouts, although this chest cold is still kicking my butt.  But, I do feel stronger and healthier.  And my fitness level has improved.  I only think I've lost 3 pounds, but I'm getting compliments from people so I know I'm toning up.  If only I could get rid of my jiggle-belly.

Brynlee is one year old!

Brynlee's birthday was a week ago today. I feel like such a bad mommy for still not posting about it. Things have just been crazy. But I'm making up for that now. Here's what she's doing at one year old:

Bryn is pretty much walking, although she doesn't do it very often. She has the skills and abilities, but prefers to crawl for some reason. Each day though, it seems that she takes a few more steps. So, I'm sure its only a matter of time before she's running all over the place.

I think her favorite thing to do right now is make a mess - and she can completely trash a room in just a few minutes. She loves to pull all of her toys and books out, or to completely empty a kitchen cupboard (I have 2 that are full of just kid stuff). Meal times are always disasters. Bryn loves to throw her food and/or to squish it all over everything. I'm so glad we don't have carpet under our kitchen table. I have to sweep and wipe down the floor after every meal. At last my floor stays clean.

Bryn is becoming very vocal, and can say so many words. I got a few on video over the weekend - maybe I'll post that video tonight. She still calls me Dad, but she says it really well! She also says Gracie, uh-oh, cat, hi, bye, baby, kids, thank you, tick-tick (for tickle), kiss, hug, awwww (when she gives hugs) and e-i-e-i-o. She loves to sing Old McDonald Had A Farm, and she jumps in with "yi yi oh" at the appropriate times.

I've also totally bottle weaned her. She had a few rough days at daycare, but has come through it all just fine. She eats solids so well, and constantly seems to be hungry. She also still nurses once in the morning, right before bed, and when she wakes in the night (yes, we are STILL having night wakings). Which, is actually getting old. Mommy really would like a full night of sleep. Last night I just decided to let her CIO. After wailing for about 15 minutes, she woke everyone in the house. And of course the crying scared G, so I had 2 crying kids at 4am. Nice. So I ended up having to put her back to bed, while Daddy contended with an ornery (almost) 3 year old.

Bryn continues to be such a sweetie. She loves to give hugs and kisses, and to get them in return. She is also compassionate. The other day, her big sister fell down and was crying. Bryn was the first one on scene to hug and kiss the tears away. It was the sweetest thing. I just love my big girl.

Down another pound

I'm only 28 pounds away from my ideal weight. It sounds so close, but I know its still so far away. :) Its funny how once I started liking my body, and concentrating on my fitness level, things started to turn around. I feel great. And even though I'm only down 3 pounds in 3 weeks, I feel sexier and I swear my belly is smaller.

I'm doing really well on my running plan too. Last night I ran on the treadmill. I usually run outside, but there was too much snow yesterday so I hit the gym. It had been about 10 days since I'd run on the treadmill, and I noticed a difference in how well I ran since then. I did a running then walking interval for 90 seconds, then a running/walking interval for 3 minutes. This week on the C25k plan, I was only supposed to go for 20 minutes, but I went for a full 30. I felt really well, but Ben scolded me when I got home. The rules clearly state not to push your body to do more than the workout specifies. But, I really didn't feel like I was pushing my body too much. And I feel great today. Besides, its not like I'm super speedy anyway. In 30 minutes, I barely made 2 miles. I don't think it hurt me to do that extra 10 minutes.

Road trip to heaven

This morning on the way to day care, Gracelin was unusually quiet.
Finally, after about 10 minutes of silence, I hear her sweet voice from
the backseat ask me:

Mommy, do you remember when I was in heaven, then I was born, and then
I was your baby?

My initial thought was "what a sweet girl I have". (have I mentioned
she's not quite 3 years old yet?) Then, the following conversation
ensued.

Mommy: of course I remember.

Gracelin: Did you come to get me from heaven?

Mommy: No sweetie. Heavenly Father chose me as your mommy, and he
brought you to me.

Gracelin: Oh. Can we go back and visit him? We could drive there,
right?

Mommy: We can't drive to heaven. But we can go back to live there
after we die if we are good people.

Gracelin: I want to go back Mommy. Will you come with me?

I could barely answer "yes" because she choked me up. I just don't
know what I did to deserve such a sweet little girl, who is wise beyond
her years.

Running update

I wanted to quickly update my running for yesterday. I've got my system
down, and was up and out of the house in just a couple of minutes.
After my short 3 minute warm-up I started running. Really, I should
probably say its a jog, because there isn't much speed to what I do.
But, I forgot to stop. This week I'm on the 2 minute run/2 minute walk
cycle. But twice, I forgot to stop running after 2 minutes. Each time
I probably went about 5 or 6 minutes before stopping. Really, I could
have kept running, but I am forcing myself not to skip ahead in the
program. Its a good thing too. Yesterday for the first time, I felt
it. My foot (that I've been having some problems with for quite awhile)
was very sore. I think what I have is plantar fascitis, but I'm not
sure. But it was sore, which in turn made my shin sore and even my knee
was stiff. I think I was maybe not running completely flat-footed
because of the pain in my arch.

I am doing well though. I know its only been 3 weeks, but I notice a
huge difference. Not so much in my physical appearance, but I do feel
stronger already. And even though I get up at 4:30 am to run, on those
days I have more energy and feel better than the days I sleep in (if you
can call 5:15 sleeping in). I also feel better mentally about my body.
I feel sexier and I like my body better. Its amazing what endorphins
can do for the psyche.

Been slacking with writing, but not running

I've had every excuse to not workout lately. My kids have been very
sick - so sick that they've been to the doctor several times to no avail
(I'm starting to wonder if they'll ever be healthy again). They are
each averaging 2 night-wakings a night, and I'm a walking zombie. As a
consequence, I got sick too. I've got a sore throat, bad cough,
wheezing, and sneezing. It makes running very difficult. And, after
finally deciding that the club house really doesn't open before 5am,
I've been running outside (just incase any of my readers don't know
this: its winter and cold/snowy/windy/icy outside).

So, to recap: bad weather + sickness = a very good reason to stay in
bed 30 extra minutes in the morning.

But I've been good. I've stuck to my "couch to 5k in 9 weeks" plan
religiously. Or, as religiously as I can. I don't have a way to time
myself, so I either count steps or houses to gauge my running/walking
times. I'm feeling good too. Ben has been running at work on his
lunch break, and we've both noticed a big difference in how we feel. It
even feels like we're nicer to each other. Amazingly, I'm not even as
tired as I should be -I'm actually starting to really enjoy my early
morning runs. And as an added bonus, I've lost 2 pounds in 2 weeks.

This morning, Bryn woke up to nurse about 4:10. When she was finished
I just got my stuff on and went out. It had precipitated overnight, and
everything had a nice coat of ice on it. The road was very slippery,
but I found that if I ran in the middle of the road where cars had gone,
that it was runnable. I wear a pedometer, and in 30 minutes I did 2.21
miles. Not a race-winning pace, but not too shabby either.

Oh, and as a P.S. for those of you who want to know how I am posting
from my email (hence the strange formatting), if you go back to my first
entry of the year (titled So Much to Say, So Little Time) and read
Kristina's comment, it explains it. Or, you can go into the blog
navigator page and adjust it there. I can't remember the exact place,
but I can check from home later and post directions.

So. Incredibly. Sore.

I laughed at the alarm when it went off at 4:30 am this morning. Then,
I reset if for 5:15, rolled over, and went back to sleep. Screw
running, I need my beauty sleep.

My brother surprised us this weekend, but showing up unexpectedly from
Cincinnati. He and a friend came for a weekend of snowboarding, and he
convinced Ben and I to go with them on Saturday. Of course I was the
only skier in the group, so I felt like I was holding everyone up. But
it was a great day for skiing (or boarding) - they sky was blue, and the
temperatures were in the 30s. I actually dressed too warmly, and really
needed to shed a layer. We went to the Canyons Resort, by Park City,
and other than a couple of nasty falls, it was a fun day. I did get
completed blind-sided by a 12 year old snowboarder. Somehow he knocked
me off my feet, but he stayed on his. I got a nasty bruise on my hip
and severely damaged my pride, but other than that I was fine.

After a few more runs, I got my confidence back, and let Ben convince
me to take a double blue run - The Sidewinder. Now, the only difference
between a double blue and a black diamond, is that a double blue is
groomed, whereas a black diamond is not. And grooming The Sidewinder
run only made it worse - since it is a west-facing slope on a sunny
afternoon; it made the run very icy. Now, I would consider myself an
intermediate skier. I can generally hold my own, as long as the run is
wide enough for me to make a wide traverse if need be. But, this run is
a bit narrow and busy for me to slowly take my time. Of course my 3
companions blew by me at the beginning of the run. I stayed at the top
to survey my course of action and to let some other people pass me.
Then, I slowly started down. I was doing fairly well, going back and
forth, but I started to get a bit bored. I convinced myself I could be
more daring. So, I pointed my skis downhill and went for it. Of course
I crashed. The hill was so steep and icy that I probably slipped
downhill about 100 feet, head first, on my back, with my feet (skis
still attached) flailing in the air. When I finally stopped, I found
that I couldn't get back up. Every time I tried, I slid again. So, I
went over to the edge where the snow was softer and took off my skis.
But I still couldn't even stand up, and of course my companions were no
where to be seen. I had fleeting thoughts that I could die up there on
the mountain, when a good Samaritan came to my aid. He was so nice to
me, and asked if I was ok. I told him that only my pride was damaged,
that this hill was way above my abilities. He helped me up, helped me
back into my skis, and went on his way. I found that I could stand
sideways and slip down the mountain, but I looked silly and it was
taking forever. So, I decided to just go for it again.

I was doing really well, until I came to a place about 3/4 of the way
down the run where 2 ski patrol members were standing with a big Caution
sign. They were warning everyone that this was an especially icy place
on the mountain, and they'd had lots of injuries there today. I could
see my group waiting for me at the bottom of the hill, and I wanted to
get to them quickly. So, I went for it again, not really heeding the
warning. Big mistake. I biffed again (and apparently so did about 8
people behind me). Ben and company were having a great time watching
everyone crash at that spot. I decided not even to try to ski the rest
of the way. I just slid on my butt until it leveled out a bit. Then I
put on my skis, and amidst applause from my husband and friends, skied
to where they were waiting for me.

Actually, they'd all had a difficult time with the run. Only my
brother had managed to stay upright the entire time. Ben had hit hard -
the worst fall he claims to have ever had. So, I felt a bit better
about myself. We did a few more runs without incident, then headed for
dinner in Park City. My parents brought the girls up to eat with us,
and it was good to see them. I love skiing, but I miss my sweeties.

I actually felt pretty good yesterday, but today at 4:30 when the alarm
went off, I was sore and stiff. Even my forearms hurt. I've got about a
dozen bruises too - the badly bruised knee from my spill in the snow
running the other morning, my hip, a bad one on my calf (from my ski
boot?) and many other smallish ones. I'm a mess. I'll have to do
Tues, Thurs, Saturday runs this week, because I was too lazy to run
today.

From couch potato to runner - day 2

Well, I suppose today is day 2. The plan clearly states that you should
never run 2 days in a row. But, yesterday I really didn't run. So,
maybe today is actually day 1? Nonetheless, I went out this morning. I
almost didn't make it. I felt terrible when my alarm went off at 4:30
am, at such an ungodly hour. But, since I'd slept in my workout
clothes, I had no excuses. I pulled a sweatshirt on, grabbed my inhaler
and iPod, and was out the door. It was really cold this morning - about
15 degrees - and I was glad I'd be running inside. But, when I got to
the clubhouse, my key wouldn't work again. I'd tried it last night, and
it worked just fine. I'm thinking that maybe there are certain hours
when my key doesn't work.

I was really annoyed that I couldn't get in. But, not wanting to waste
another early wake-up, I decided to just run outside. I knew it would
be difficult. I have exercise-induced asthma, that is worse in the
cold. I knew that I'd use my inhaler more than if I'd been breathing
warmer air. And I really wasn't dressed for 15 degree weather, wearing
only a sweatshirt and no hat or gloves. But, I'm hearty and can handle
the cold. So I set off. The training this week calls for 60 seconds of
running followed by 90 seconds of walking. I didn't have a watch or
anything so I counted 60 steps of running followed by 90 steps of
walking. I probably walked too long, since my walking strides were
slower than my running ones, but it would have to work. I was amazed by
how good it felt. I'm not a very good morning exerciser (I do better
about 4pm). I really notice fast the fact that I haven't eaten for
hours, and my energy level drops fast. But, I was able to complete the
20 minute session on schedule for today. Towards the end, I did start
to feel a bit drained, and my left calf felt tight. But, after some
good post-run stretching and a long drink of water, I felt much better.

Ben has decided that he's going to train with me. He's going to the
running store to be fitted for some good shoes. We're going to find a
race in May to train for - I think with a goal in sight it will be
easier to stay focused on training.

I've also decided (thanks to a wonderful blog Kristina alerted me to
yesterday) to focus on increasing my fitness level, instead of weight
loss. Obviously, if I stick to my running goals, weight loss will be in
inevitable result, but I'm going to focus on increasing my stamina and
pace, instead of how much I weigh. I didn't grow up as a very athletic
person. I've always had bad asthma and worse knees, so in school I
usually had a doctor's note for gym. I'd usually sit out of any
activity that required me to breathe or use my knees (basically
anything). I don't really blame my mother, but I guess its kind of her
fault. I did have bad asthma, that even required hospitalization -
sometimes for weeks at a time to get me breathing again. I'm sure she
was scared for me to have an asthma attack at school. But, I grew up,
moved 2000 miles away from home, and realized that I didn't have
limitations. I discovered Advair, and realized that by taking daily
maintenance meds I could control my asthma. And I had knee surgery on
both knees. But, suddenly I could run, hike, backpack, snow and water
ski, etc. You get the picture. I could enjoy being physical, and I
loved it.

More than anything, I want to get my fitness level back to my college
days. I know that I can do it. It may take me a bit longer than the
average person to get in shape, but I can do it. One day I'd love to
run a marathon, or even an ultra. But for now, my sights are set on a
5k in May.

Do I at least get an A for effort?

Today was Day 1 of my [url=http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml]couch to 5k running plan[/url]. I know its not the most ambitious running plan, and honestly the first few weeks will be easy. But I've started and stopped my exercise program too many times to count. So, I'm thinking that maybe if I start off a bit slow this time I'll stick with it better.

I set my alarm for 4:45 so I'd have enough time to make it to the clubhouse for a 30 minute workout, and then still have time to get ready for work. I even slept in my workout clothes (good thing they're comfortable) so that I'd have no excuses. Actually Bryn woke herself up coughing at 4:30, so after I got her back to sleep I just put on my running shoes and headed outside. I was surprised to see that it had snowed - but I was undeterred. The walk to the clubhouse is a short one, and I'd be on the treadmill inside. But, as I hit the end of the driveway and rounded the corner onto the sidewalk I slipped on the ice. Down I went, hitting my knee hard. Still undeterred, I got up, brushed off the snow, and continued on. I noticed that I'd landed hard on my knee when I fell, but I was pretty sure I'd be ok. I almost slipped a couple more times on the way there, but I safely made it - only to find that my key didn't work in the door. I've used it dozens of times before. Its one of those "electronic keys" that you hold under a light. The light turns green, it beeps, and the door unlocks. Only the light never turned green today. And the door never unlocked. So, I turned my iPod on (to my really cool workout mix) and decided I'd just do my workout outside. But as I started, I realized that it really was too cold and slick for that to work either. I just went back home, and rode the elliptical in the basement for 15 minutes. All was not lost, and I got a decent workout. But, not the one I wanted.

I also learned a couple of things:

1) I did a good job with my workout mix. I only made it through the 311 and Alien Ant Farm songs on the iPod, but they were very motivating

2) I think I actually need to get up at 4:30 to have enough time for a real workout and still make it to work on time.

3) I need to call the HOA and figure out why my key isn't working. Maybe they can refund a bit of our dues from this month.

I will try again tomorrow morning. Maybe day 2 will bring me more luck.

I read an article yesterday about weight loss. The author suggested that in order to have optimal weight loss and fitness, you need to like your body - even the body that is overweight. So, I've been compiling a list of the things I do like about my body. Surprisingly, its longer than I'd have expected:

1) My skin. I have gorgeous skin. People comment on it all of the time. The other night, we were out to dinner with my in-laws. It had been a crazy day, and I hadn't even put makeup on all day. My MIL commented on my skin and asked what I do to make my skin look so good. I felt a bit rude when I told her: soap and water. Maybe a bit of Oil of Olay (I actually just bought a bit of Avon skin care stuff, and I'm liking it too). But, my "beauty regimen" is basically non existent, yet my skin is gorgeous. I've never had issues with blemishes - even during puberty.

2) My teeth. I had a great orthodontist, and he gave me the perfect smile. But, I've also always taken good care of my teeth. And my teeth are all the same size, so they look just like veneers. My FIL is a dentist, and he raves about my teeth all the time. He also professionally whitens them for me. I love my smile.

3) My hair. I've come to love my hair. I've had issues in the past. Its very fine and just a tiny bit wavy. But, I have a great weave (color job) and a nice flat iron. My hair is long and blonde and very healthy.

4) My hips and legs. I am definitely an apple body. So while my top ½ needs work, my hips down look great. I am solidly a size 10 on the bottom. My legs are nicely shaped and athletic looking. My thighs don't rub together. I actually have muscle definition.

5) My lack of hair on the rest of my body. I don't have a bikini line. I don't have hair on my toes. I really only need to shave my legs about ½ way up my calves (of course I go to the knee in the summer, b/c the peachfuzz can look funny next to a hairless calf).

So, there are things I really like about myself. While my poor tummy is unrecognizable, and my boobs have gone from a 32B to a 38DD, at l east there are parts of me that I love and feel confident about. I'm going to focus on those!

My new blog-stalking obsession

I've been focusing my blog stalking to non-parenting/mommy sites. Maybe its because all my favorites are now fire walled (I swear I don't check them at work THAT much) or maybe because Bryn's pretty much a toddler now. I guess I really don't know the reason, but I have been searching out other blogs to read. My coworker clued me into this one:
http://www.crockettclan.org/running/

I know it sounds crazy from someone who can barely run a mile now (I know because I ran the other night and was sore for 2 days afterwards). I've always wanted to be a runner. In college, I guess I kind of was. Many days, instead of hitting the books, I'd hit the mountains, running up the steepest trail I could find. I also got addicted to backpacking. There's something about going to a remote mountain area, where few people have ever been. I loved pushing myself to the limit. I never did anything close to the mileage the blog guy covers, but I think I could with a lot of effort. Of course, college was years ago. I'm now about 40 pounds heavier, and obviously in much worse shape. But thoughts of actually attempting a competition has been keeping me searching the net to find a training plan.

So, I've come up with a plan. In 21 days, I'm finished with pumping. I pump for 30 minutes in the mornings. So, instead of sleeping that extra ½ hour, I'm going to still get up and go for a run. My goal is to find a 5k to run in this spring. I know that a 5k is nothing compared to an ultra-marathon, but its something to train for. After the 5k, I'll set my sights on a longer race. And I'd like to do a local ½ marathon at the end of the summer. I had a boyfriend in college that would run it. Its a great first-timers race - all downhill. Sounds perfect.

I found a couple of website with training schedules. I picked one that I think I can handle. It only requires 3 days of week of training, and I think I can fit 3 days into my busy schedule. Especially if we buy a treadmill for the basement gym we're slowly building. At any rate, I'm going to document my progress in my blog. Wish me luck!

Recap of date night

I am loving the fact that I can now email my entries in. I may not be
able to check out all my friends' blogs (due to the spam filter) but at
least I can update my own blog. I'll have to save my blog-stalking for
the weekends.

Ben and I went on a real date last night. It has been so long, I'd
almost forgotten how to conduct myself in public with just my husband.
I do love my girls, but sometimes its nice to just concentrate on adult
conversation, and cutting just my own food. We both left work a bit
early, and my parents met us at our house to watch the girls. Both
girls love my mom, so it was fun for them too. Grandma and Grandpa let
the kids do things that mommy and dad never would, so its just one big
party.

Anyway - after we got the kids situated, we headed downtown. We had
dinner at Z-Tejas, and I actually got to order what I wanted to eat,
instead of something I knew I could share with Bryn. I had a yummy red
pepper, mango, and steak salad. It was delicious. Then we headed to
the basketball game - and what a game it was. Utah lost in the last
second, because of a game-winning shot by Vince Carter at the buzzer.
Despite losing the game, it was a lot of fun.

And it was just what our marriage needed. We had so much fun together.
We laughed, held hands, and even kissed in public. I know that I need
to spend more time working on our relationship. Lately I know we both
have gotten a bit lax. It is difficult, always having to focus on the
kids. Most night I'm so wiped out by the time the girls get to bed,
that there is no energy left for my husband. I need to work on that.

Monday Morning

Yep - its a Monday.

We've been sick all weekend. Really sick. We started about 10 days
ago with a bad cold. The stuffy noses have all cleared up, but we're
all coughing and hacking. Ben finally went to the InstaCare on
Thursday. He must have been feeling really sick, because he never goes
to the doctor without serious prodding. Turns out, he has pneumonia and
an ear infection. When I heard that, I made him run Gracelin back (I
was stuck at work). The doctor didn't think she was as sick, but he did
give her some Prednisone to clear up her cough. After 5 days, it really
hasn't helped. Bryn and I seem to be a bit better, so we've avoided the
doctor thankfully.

I've felt especially crappy mainly because I finally got my first PPAF.
I've been dreading it for months because my IUD is supposed to make it
much more heavy and crampy. And it definitely has been. I've been
bleeding through a tampon in less than an hour. I've even leaked
through a tampon and a pad. (Warning - TMI story to follow. Don't read
if you're squeamish) Yesterday I put Bryn down for her morning nap and
went to soak in the tub. The warm water felt so good that I dozed a
bit. When I woke up (after probably only 15 minutes or so) the water
was bright red. It was so gross. I drained the water, rinsed off in
the shower, and cleaned the tub. Ewwww. But, I've been bleeding that
heavy for 4 straight days. I'm wondering how long its going to be
before I bleed to death. My normal periods only last about 4 days, and
I've never had one this heavy. I'm wondering when I need to call the
doctor.

At any rate, our lives have been very hectic, and Ben and I have been
arguing quite a bit. I appreciate the words of advice that many of you
have offered. I do love him, and he is a good husband and father. I
know that I don't want to leave him. But so often I do long for
something more from him. He does try hard though. He loves me too, and
wants to make me happy. After an especially hurtful fight last week, we
had a really long talk. A lot of things were resolved, and things have
gotten markedly better. We're limping along.

Tonight, he and I are going on a real date. Its been so long that I
almost don't know how to conduct myself in public with just my husband.
We're leaving work early, and my mom is coming to spend some time with
the girls (who are both very excited). I think it will be very good for
Ben and I as well.

And speaking of the girls . . . they are both doing just beautifully.
Gracelin continues to be precocious, yet incredibly sweet. One of her
favorite treats is to go and get a Slurpee. But, the last 2 times we've
gone, the Slurpee machine has exploded, sending frozen slush all over
the place. Over the weekend, I took her for a Slurpee (just G and mom).
She chose the purple Slurpee, which of course exploded everywhere.
Luckily it mostly missed G, but it was all over me. In fact, as I stuck
my hand into my pocket for the keys, I got a handful of Slurpee. NICE.
As we were getting into the car to go home, G told me: "Mom, some
people have good luck with Slurpees. But not me. I have bad luck with
Slurpees" I laughed all the way home.

Bryn is growing up way too fast. This weekend she learned to say
"thank you" (tank-oo) and "kitty-cat" (key-caaa). Oh, and lest we
forget this amazing feat:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v365/chutch1/?action=view&current=11monthsold030.flv

My girls are amazing.

Just a test

Ok - if this works, I'll know that I can email posts to my blog.  I can keep caught up!

---

8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time
with theYahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut.

So much to say . . . so little time

I've been MIA for awhile. Work has fire walled all blog sites. So, not only can I NOT update my own blog, I cannot read anyone else's. It sucks. I really miss my blogging. And I really have a lot to update about our lives and my attempts at dieting. But, I have so little computer time at home. In fact, right now I'm just checking in while I wait for the paint to dry on a craft project I'm working on. Both girls are sleeping too. I should be napping with them as well. But, I always have so much to do (housework, other projects, blogging, etc) that sleep takes a back burner most days.

I promise to be better. I'm thinking there has to be a way for me to email posts to blogger. I'll have to figure that one out.

Day #2 of no sugar, and other ramblings

Ok - I actually made it 24 hours with no sugar and I'm still going strong. I know that may not sound like anything special, but for me its a very significant achievement. I have a serious sugar addicition. I actually feel really good this morning. I ate well yesterday, but didn't exercise. I even had time around 8pm after the girls were in bed, but by then I was exhausted. I was in bed by 9:30, which was much needed.

I'm a bit worried about Gracelin. Yesterday was her first day off of the antibiotics after her UTI, and when she peed last night she said it was "spicy" again. Then this morning, it was a fight to get her to pee. I don't know how she holds it in - she wakes up dry and then won't pee in the morning. Excellent bladder control for a 2 year old. Anyway, I realized last night that I had never gotten the results from her urine culture. The day we originally went to the doctor (and she had such a difficult time leaving the sample) they did a quick "urine dip", which was positive and then a full culture that was supposed to take a few days. I totally spaced calling to get the results until last night. Although it was after 8pm, I called and someone was there. She looked up the results and said that there was staph in the culture. She then put me on hold to consult with the doctor as to what to do. When she got back on the phone, she told me that it was technically a negative culture because staph is naturally present in our bodies, and they couldn't prove it was an infection. She told me that maybe I need to change G's bath soap. WTF? That day I took her into the doctor with a fever of 104 and classic UTI symptoms. After 24 hours on the antibiotic she started feeling better. It kind of pissed me off a bit for her to tell me that it was caused by her soap.

I think I'm going to try and take her into her regular doctor in a couple of days. I do want to wait a bit and see if she can feel better on her own. I don't want to subject her to needless tests if I don't have to. But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit worried. She's always had problems with infections. Even from birth. One of the reasons she had to say in the NICU (other than being preterm of course) was that she had a mystery infection, and had to be on IV antibiotics. Then, she's had countless ear infections that only clear up with her tubes in, and her "grossly" infected adnoids. It just seems like she's been on antibiotics more than she's been off of them. It can't be good for her.

My MIL wants me to take her to the herbologist and get her on probiotics. I wish I could get her to eat yogurt, because that might just do the trick. I'm hesisitant to give her anything from that crazy herb guy. I went with my DH once, and he gave me the creeps. He's seriously PSYCHO. And I don't feel comfortable giving my kids stuff from him. I feel better taking her to the chiropractor first - that actually isn't such a bad idea.
Hmmmm . . . I'm just rambling now. Is it obvious how bored I am at work? I think I'm going to take an early lunch soon, to return something to Old Navy, check the sales there, and go look for a pair of new shoes. I love shoes. :)

Blah

There is no other word to describe how I'm feeling today, other than BLAH. I'm not sure why - Christmas is over, and we survived. I should be very happy about that. Both of my kids are healthy right now, which is something that hasn't happened in months. And Ben and I are even getting along (mainly due to the fact that I allowed him to convince me that what he read in Yahoo is true - that couples who have sex at least 3 times a week are more healthy). But for some reason I'm just, well, for lack of a better word . . . BLAH.

For one thing, I'm working this week. I suppose someone has to be in the office, and since I still have no vacation (a result of being used up for maternity leave and sick kids) I had no choice other than to be in the office. But is so damned slow that I'm dying. Have you ever heard the term "bored to tears". Well - its a fact. One can truly be bored to tears. I'm just about at that point now.

But, I think my feelings are more than that. I'm very unhappy with my appearance lately. I think it would be safe to say that I hate how I look. I'm the epitome of the frumpy, ugly mom. I've never been a super "glam" type girl anway. I'm more earthy. I haven't had my hair cut or colored since Gracelin was 11 months old, which is almost 2 years ago. So, I've got long scraggly hair with really bad roots. On top of that, I ran out of my makeup sometime in the summer and haven't bothered to buy more. So, my skin looks sallow and quite old - partially from the winter weather, but moreso from my extreme sleep deprivation. My eyes are constantly baggy and heavy. I'm quite the sight.

Then, there is the issue of my weight. For anyone who is a regular reader of my blog (I think there may be a couple of you out there) you'll know this is a constant source of stress in my life. I used to be quite thin, but now I really struggle with my weight. This December has been really bad for me. I gained 7 pounds this month because I just cannot stop myself from gorging on all of the holiday goodies.

Finally last night I decided that I am giving up the junk once and for all. I don't even enjoy eating it most of the time, yet I cannot stop myself. So, today so far I've eaten:

a bowl of 6 grain cereal (whole oats, wheat, barley, sunflower seeds) with skim milk
an apple
taco salad (with whole wheat flour tortilla)
an orange
diet dr pepper

I just talked to Ben on the phone, and he picked up a pizza for dinner. I'll probably be alright if I just eat a piece or 2. I'll make some steamed veggies to eat with it, and maybe top the night off with a warm cup of sugar free cocoa. I am still breastfeeding afterall.

I know that I need to do something to change myself. I've never really been "pretty", but my "style" worked for me since I was thin and athletic. Now that I'm carrying around 30 extra pounds, I just look like a lazy and frumpy mom.

Christmas 2006

Christmas started early for us this year. Because my parents went to Cincinnati to be with my brother and his family, we had "Christmas Morning" with them on Dec 23. We went over to their house in the morning to open presents and have our traditional Christmas brunch. It was a really good day there. Of course, my mom and sister went way overboard and totally spoiled my kids, but they loved it. Gracelin got a Barbie house, Barbie car, and lots of Barbies to go with it all. She was in heaven. Bryn mostly enjoyed eating the presents and wrapping paper, but she had a really good day as well. After brunch though, my dad started a fire in the wood-burning stove, and I must have been allergic to something he burned. Everyone left to go sledding, except for Bryn and I, and I had the worst asthma attack I've had in years while I was home alone. I actually started getting scared because my inhaler wasn't working. In fact, we ended up leaving early so I didn't die.

We weren't able to go home though. The 23rd is my MIL's birthday, so we headed over to her house for her party. I cooked my contribution - broccoli-cheese soup - while I struggled for breath. I'd let myself get so bad with my asthma, that I couldn't even get a breath. We finally just left her house early to go home, where I took 2 breathing treatments, my steriod inhaler, 2 Benedryl, and 4 Motrin (for the inflamation). Luckily that calmed things down enough that I didn't die, but it was scary.

Sunday (Christmas Eve) was a fairly quiet day. We dressed the girls in their pretty Christmas dresses and went to church. Afterwards, I made some corn chowder and we had my sister and her hubby over for dinner. It was a nice quiet nite. The girls got new PJs to wear to bed. We read the Christmas Story and put them to bed. Poor Gracelin was so excited for Santa that she had a difficult time falling asleep. My sister and brother-in-law stayed to watch a movie. Then, we put out presents and went to bed.

On Christmas Day, Gracelin woke up at 4:45 and couldn't go back to sleep. She told me that it was time to wake up because Santa came. Since it was still very dark outside, I tried telling her that she needed to go back to sleep because Santa hadn't already come. But she was too smart for that. Ben let me go back to sleep for about an hour while he and Gracelin watched a movie. Finally, we woke Bryn up so we could open presents. It was a fun to have a nice, quiet morning with just our little family. Bryn again was just content to eat her presents. Gracelin got more Barbies. We got Daddy a golf travel bag and a new watch. Mommy got Shopping Barbie, complete with over $300 in gift certificates to her favorite places. I was so excited to get online yesterday to American Eagle and find a Christmas Day only sale - complete with 15% off my entire order (after the almost 50% off most items) and free shipping. After presents, we had buckwheat pancakes with fresh blueberries, and then let the girls play for awhile. Then, everyone expect mommy got a long nap. I spent my time in the kitchen preparing my famous corn pudding for our Christmas Dinner feast.

After naps, we left for Ben's parents' house for Christmas Dinner and more presents. Grace and Bryn got a tent, which they are very excited to set up today, and Ben's Dad got us 10 shares of Disney stock! I'm very excited for that. We don't own any stock (other than the mutual funds I invest in through work) and I'm really excited to learn how to buy and sell stocks. Dinner was fantastic, and once again I ate way too much (another common theme).

Finally, we headed home for some much-neeeded sleep. Both girls slept all night, which means I'm actually somewhat rested. Which is a really good thing considering the fact that I'm back at work today. :( I guess someone has to be here. Its a shame too, because its so slow here. I wish I was back in bed.

By popular demand

Pics of Bryn - 9 months old:

10 months old

Bryn is 10 months old today. I can't believe she's almost a year old already. Time has definitely gone faster with her than it did with G. Here's a quick update of what she's doing:

She has strawberry blonde hair, blue green eyes, and an infectious smile. Bryn is almost walking - in fact, I'm quite surprised that she doesn't walk yet. Her new favorite toy is a walking toy - she uses is to move around the house wherever she wants to go. Its given her a newfound freedom that she loves. Bryn is so very coordinated and physical - we can already tell she’s athletic. She has mastered crawling and is into everything.

She is also babbling up a storm, and can even say a few words already - namely Dad (which is very clear) and DeeDee (for her sister Gracie). She has yet to say Mom, but we know that is only because she is saving the best for last. She also tries to repeat everything we say, and quite often she says something that sounds very close to being a real word. My favorite thing she says is "Hi Dad", which she does while waving. Its so cute, and she says it so clearly.

She has big, bright eyes, and is very aware of everything going on. My dad is amazed by how aware she seems. I'm pretty sure she understands everything that is going on around her.

Bryn is becoming quite finiky when it comes to food. I try and give her finger foods (because she's graduated pureed foods), but she prefers what is on my plate. She'll eye me while saying "MmmmmMmmmmMmmm" until I give her some. Then, she acts like a baby bird - grunting at me with her mouth open until I feed her what she wants. Just like her sister, she loves foods with taste - especially spicy Mexican foods. I worried at first that it would bother her stomach, but she seems just fine with it all. She still nurses quite a bit, and drinks bottles of EBM at work. Mommy is still pumping during the days, and she doens't need formula still.

She has been sleeping a little bit better, but she still has lots of night wakings. I think a big part of that may be that she seems to always be sick. Right now she's got a runny nose and barky cough, and I think she just wakes a lot from being sick. Hopefully she'll grow out of it soon, because mommy is dragging all of the time.

Bryn is such a blessing to our family. She loves to cuddle and hug, play with toys, read stories, take a bath, and EAT. If we could only get her to sleep through the night life would be good. But, she has a laid-back personality and is such a joy.

Someone needs to quarantine my house

Here's the long saga of my weekend a few days late:

Thursday night was my work Christmas party and the daycare Christmas party. We opted for the DC one, since we felt it was more important to support our kids. It was really cute. The kids dressed in reindeer hats, and had a bunch of song and dance numbers. I was worried that G would be too shy to perform - she did actually go up there, but stood there stone-faced the entire time. She wouldn't move a muscle. After the program, Santa came. Again G surprised me by actually sitting on his lap. Afterwards I asked her what she said to him. Her response, "nothing mommy. I was too scared to talk."

Saturday night Ben and I had planned to go to a party, and the kids had planned a sleepover with Grandma. Well, Ben and I were just finishing up dinner when my mom called to say G was really sick. By the time we got there she was burning up and had thrown up. We took her home and missed the party. She was up most of the night. I dosed her with the Motrin/Tylenol alternating every couple of hours though the night, and her fever never went below 102. By morning she was up to 104. She kept saying that her tummy hurt, but she didn't feel like she was going to throw up. I asked her to show me where it hurt, and she pointed down low. Then she started telling me that her back hurt. I started suspecting UTI.

So, we were off to InstaCare Sunday morning. Dr there also suspected UTI, but wouldn't give her meds until we could confirm. But, G refused to pee in the "hat". She had a major meltdown in the office, until finally I agreed to let her try at home. But then she woulnd't go at home either. I figured she'd finally have to go so bad that she'd relent and go. But, she held it for 3 more hours. Finally, I decided to just make her do it. I bribed her - I told her that if she'd go I'd take her to the store and she could pick out anything she wanted. But she still wouldn’t' go. So, I ran a bath, and stuck her in (she always has to pee as soon as her feet hit the water). It worked, and we finally got our sample, but she cried the whole time and said that her tummy hurt and her pee was spicy.

We took the sample in, and they confirmed bacteria. The doctor said they're doing a full culture, and depending on that he will probably want her to see a specialist. Apparently, its rare for a child that young to get a UTI, and they want to rule out any underlying causes. My poor kids. Are they the sickest children ever?

Anyway - then I had to keep my promise, so we stopped by Target for her to pick something out. She chose a Barbie (surprise, surprise). After only 2 doses of the antibiotic, her fever was gone and her appetite back. She ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch!

During all of this, Bryn's really sick again and needing breathing treatments. Then, Ben let her fall on her head off of the couch. It literally made me sick. She fell of backwards and landed right on top. Her neck snapped back, and she actually bounced back onto her face. For a few seconds she just laid there - I was sure she was dead. Then she screamed, and cried, and wailed. I was physically sick. It took me a few seconds to react, but then I was able to comfort her. Luckily she calmed after only a minute. Then my EMT training kicked in, and I assessed her for a head injury. Turns out she was just fine, but it was so scary.

Oh, and we got the most amazing snow storm during all of this. We got well over a foot, and its perfectly wet and heavy - not the typical Utah power. Its perfect snowman snow. And poor G didn't get to enjoy any of it.
Overall G’s doing better. Her fever is gone and her appetite has returned, but I cannot get her to empty her bladder. Anyone have suggestions on how to get G to pee? Its been the biggest fight the past few days because it hurts her to go. So, she'll hold it forever, but then only go enough to make her comfortable again. I will say that she's got amazing bladder control for a 2 year old. But, if she won't empty her bladder she'll never get the infection out.

Poor Bryn woke up with puss draining from her ears this mornng. I don't know what is up with my kids being sick all of the time. Except that I was a very sickly child. I missed so much school. One year, I had mono the entire month of December, got better just in time for Christmas, and then got strep throat the first week back of school. In all, I think I missed 5 straight weeks of school. I am a fairly healthy adult now though, and *rarely* even catch colds {knock on wood}.

What my kids are up to

We had a fun weekend. I just love my girls. I haven't updated much about them lately. Here's what they're doing:

Bryn loves people lately, and will go to anyone. She even hugs my dad, and he's pretty big and scary to most kids. Speaking of, poor Bryn is sick again. SHe was up most of the night coughing, and when she finally fell asleep G woke up (I don't even drink cofee, but this is appropriate ) . I've even been giving her breathing treatments. She's the funniest kid - most kids cry throughout the treatments, but she loves it. In fact, she cried this morning when I turned the machine off. LOL She is always sick though. I don't know what I'm going to do.

I've actually been considering getting a nanny. They're pretty cheap here. I could get a young mother, that maybe has a child of her own, to come 4 days a week for around $1200. My SIL has a Mexican nanny that she only pays $1000 month for. She does light housework, laundry, and cooking too. And, she only speaks spanish to the kids. Her twins that are G's age are completely bilingual.

Bryn had a language explosion this weekend. She says "dad, dad, dad" whenever she sees Ben. She also loves the tree, and yesterday kept calling it a "tee" - with heavy ennunciation on the "t". Then, we went to my parents' house for dinner. I took her over to see the cat, and she called her "key". Whenever she wants food now, she says "MmmmmMmmmm" And, of couse she still calls G "DeeDee". If only I could get her to say mommy. Why is that one so difficult?

Bryn also loves to eat. A LOT! The mere sight of her highchair will elicit squeals of delight. She especially loves macaroni and cheese, although she has liked everthing I've fed her, except tomatoes. I thought I'd try, but no one in our family likes tomatoes, so I wasn't expecting much.

G is so smart, and I think she is starting to understand Christmas too. This morning we were singing "Here comes Santa Clause". She told me that she would have to pull the covers over her head so she won't see Santa when he comes. Then she told me that I'll have to help Bryn, because she can't pull the covers up herself. She said that Santa is bringing her all the Barbies and that Bryn is just getting some baby toys.

She really understands a lot lately. Last night in the car, we had the radio on. From the back, we realized she was singing along:

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh, JUICY.

And then this morning, she asked:

G: Mommy, did that man just say "everything is going to be alright, rock-a-bye?"
Me: Yes Gracelin, he did
G: Why did he say that?
Me: He is telling a girl who is sad that it will all be ok
G: Why is she sad?
Me: I don't know. Maybe her friend hurt her feelings.
G: Was it her big boy friend? The one who is singing?

Last night we were at my parents house for dinner. After dinner, my mom told G that she had a suprise for her, and left to get it. While she was gone, G said to my sister:

G: Aunt Jen, do you know what the suprise is?
Jen: Yep!
G: Oh, can you tell me what is it?
Jen: Nope. If I tell you, then it wouldn't be a suprise anymore.
G: Oh. But you know?
Jen: Yep, I do know.
G: Oh, well then can you tell me what it is?

The conversation went on like that for a long time, until finally Grandma appeared with 2 new Christmas books and a special blanket for reading stories underneath.. She was in heaven! G and Grandma read Christmas stories for a long time beneath the Christmas tree.

Graceln loves Barbies so much too - its almost an addiction. She can take the clothes off, but needs help putting them back on. Her babies have elaborate escapades. The other day they went to Chilis and then went to the pumpkin patch. They also like to table dance to "I'm a Barbie Girl" by Aqua. Thats G's new favorite song. We're probably horrible parents for letting her play with barbies in the first place, and then for letting her listen to that terrible song.

The passing of the torch

One of the things I was most excited about when I found out G was a girl, was passing down all the things about growing up that I loved to my own little girl. Of all my toys growing up, my absolute favorite thing to play with were my Barbies. And I was oh-so anal about them as well. I kept them in their original boxes with all their original clothes and accessories. Their hair was taken care of, and they were loved. (and dare I admit this publicly . . .) I also still have a Barbie collection. I have about 2 dozen Barbies in my basement in boxes that have never even been opened. Most of them are Christie dolls, Barbie's African-American friend. I am so whitey-white, but my name is Christie. So, when I found a Christie, I would buy her. But of course, there are also regular Barbies down there, as well as some of her other friends.

When Gracelin came home from daycare a couple of weeks ago talking about the Barbies she played with there, I was excited to share mine with her. I'll admit that its difficult to watch her not brush their hair, and to constantly lose their accessories, but I'm letting her play her way. I even opened a brand-new one (Ok - she's really and old Barbie) to play with.

She's estatic. Gracelin has a very active imagination. Last night her Barbies went to Chili's for dinner. They had chips and salsa with Diet Coke to drink. One of them ordered a salad and the other had chicken nuggets. She loves to change their clothes and comb their hair. For a two-year old, she really takes care of them well. Last night she had to tuck them into bed (they've replaced Soft Dora in the doll-bed) before she herself could sleep.

Rotavirus (aka Roto-Rooter virus)

Last Monday went just about like any other Monday. I picked the girls up at daycare and they seemed just fine; however, on the way home, Gracelin puked everywhere. Now, since she pukes in the car quite frequently, I wasn't overly concerned. Especially since we got home and she eagerly ate her black beans and quesadilla from Cafe Rio. But, when she woke in the night and puked all over her bed, I knew she had a tummy virus. In the morning she seemed fine, other than the fact that she wasn't hungry (very abnormal for her) and she had diarrhea once. So, Bryn and I stayed home with her on Tuesday.

On Wednesday, she still had a fever, so daddy stayed with her. I went to work and took Bryn to daycare. Unfortunately, she didn't last there very long. They called to tell me she was throwing up. When I picked her up, she was happy and seemed ok, so I took her back to work to finish some reports. Bad idea - she puked all over me and my office. Yucky. So, home we went. Poor girl went from bad to worse. At one point, my sweet baby was puking and pooping at exactly the same time. She felt miserable, and spent most of Wednesday exploding from both ends. Daddy had basketball tickets, so I had my parents come over to help out. (bad idea for them - 48 hours after coming to our house, they both got sick)

I woke up in the middle of Wednesday night throwing up, and with a fever of 101. UGH. Not a good thing when I had a sick baby, and a very not-sick, bored from being home all week, 2 year old to take care of. I spent most of Thursday lying on the couch and/or running to the bathroom. Thanksfully, Bryn was feeling pretty much herself, other than some really rank diapers. She was very sleepy though, and took 3 long naps.

I felt so horrible - I don't think I'd felt that sick in years. And I lost 7 pounds in 24 hours. I was so achey that it hurt to be touched. And I was so cold. I just couldn't seem to get warm. It was only about 14 degrees outside, and I didn't realize that our heater wasn't working. I just thought I was cold from being sick. When Ben got home from work, he noticed that although the thermostat was set to 70, it was barely 60 in our house. He decided to take the kids to his parents house to get warm (bad idea for them, as they also got sick 48 hours after coming into contact with us) while I waited for the repairman.

Friday came, and we were all feeling somewhat better. There was only one yucky diaper to change, and no puke. Yay. Although it was a yucky virus, at least it was over quickly. I still don't have my appetite back yet (maybe because the memory of being so sick is still so fresh in my mind), but I'm not complianing. I am down a pants size. Maybe having the Rotavirus was just the kick-start my metabolism needed.